JP(Wolfman)John Peter Syliboy(Syliboy Warrior(DC Universe Online))

I'm not in love but heart broken. I had many losses in my life. Positive changes to my life but sadden ones at the same time. Grief comes in many forms and relationships. And I know that the causes are moving from parents, moving from hometown, death of pet, starting a new school, death of a former spouse, marriage, graduation, end of addictions, major health changes(Life changes), retirement, financial changes-positive or negative, holidays, legal problems, family deaths, and empty nest. These are common factors of grief and I know that I haven't been able grieve properly. When you're addicted for so long there is a paradigm shift in perception of reality. A few times this has happened and I know that addictions comes easier because I had nothing to do. Hell has no fury like my biological mother's rage. I know that she willed everything out of me. And had that kind of connection where we have been telling each other everything. I was a mirror in space floating and refl...

I know that I'd had a thousand or more battles and I lost each and every one of them. Two wills against each other and political powers and other influences. I know that my stepfather had me held back because he wanted me to waste my life. He didn't want to give me my license which would've motivated me in getting my diploma. I know that after school or jobs isn't what he wanted. He wanted me to be a tough worker with small money. I know that I haven't any sports, girlfriend, job, education, prom night or car and license. Anything to make my life better he didn't want. I know that he has the powers to let me go. I know that I'm lonely romantically speaking. I don't have any sweet heart because I got no girlfriend. Never had any because I did not have any relationship experiences in Eskasoni. I was left alone all those years and I know that people haven't helped out. I'd tried confidence and lost that battle. I know that I feel unattractive and ug...

I get it, I'm not tall, dark and handsome. I know that I'm pocket hulk. I know that I'm the smallest dude who nobody wants. And still have to have a smile on my face. Men and women have been toxic to each other for years. They don't want to let up because the culture is toxic. We don't have perspective and I know that the important work of Dr. Gabor Matè is something. We live in a toxic culture where we have no respect. And that's what increasing the Roots of Loneliness. Disrespect. I know that I'm the smallest meaning more disrespect from everyone. I get no breaks and I have to work twice as hard to get a job because my workload. I know that I was permanently damaged and I had to go out on the road. I know that I am hated and no threat to anyone. I am not formidable because everyone challenges me. I was supposed to forgive them because all of the shit they've put me through. I know that I'm still extinguishing a little hell because my heaven was tem...

I know that I have been learning what I need to. Feeling like I want to fuck certain women like an animal. But I know that I have to remain calm and composed. I know that I don't have any commands here and I don't have any attractive qualities or characteristics or traits or muscles. I know that I am nothing to these ladies because I haven't tried. I know that I'm still recovering from grief and losses. But yeah I'm going to try to date and hopefully it turns out alright. I know that I have been learning about relationships and issues with that. A woman can text and fuck at the same time. Knowing this I guess I just have to have faith. I don't know the dating world and I know that I haven't gotten any good fucks lately because I am at a group home. I'm kind of stuck here because I cannot seem to get through inflation rates. I don't think I will do good because I am a dialysis patient. Yeah I'm disabled but that don't mean I have to quit on my...

My first heaven I was addiction-free and happy. I was a happy child and I didn't know that my heaven could change. That's what the ooh child song meant to me. Perfection. I did not know pain and I did not have this Alexithymic Profundity of understanding and comprehension. I did not have any sensitivity towards others. I was a happy, clumsy and unrealizing little child. That's when songs made sense in a simple happiness. But that's what motivated people to harm me and make me less innocent. I know that guilt and shames stopped me from talking to my parents. I did not felt unattractive or used, I did not felt any heavy regrets or guilts. Nobody had control over me and that's the happiness I had. I know that was shattered and destroyed when I was introduced to some people. Growing up personally in Eskasoni I had kids guiding me to people that would harm me. I don't remember names. But I know that I did not have any anxiety or traumas. I know that I didn't have...

Reading and Researching about types of relationship, types of addiction, toxic cultures and types of love. I want that book The Myth of Normal. And that eBook The Psychology of Prejudice and Discrimination. I know that these two powerful book and eBook could add well to my collection of books, eBooks and audiobooks. Women aren't that hard to figure out. Yes they are emotional creatures but so am I. I should have emotional literacy and emotional intelligence to figure something out. I know that I don't have any attractive qualities or characteristics or traits or muscles. I have Dr. John Gottman's works and I know that I have been living here trying to get laid. I'm lost in ways of my dignity and memories. Bur I think I could find my own way and I know that I had sex partners before but I know that it wasn't me. I know that types of relationship could have a serious impact. Serious impact on quality of relationship, construct of relationship and the integrity of a re...

I know that I am glad that I've made it this far. And I know that I had all these life experiences and heartache. I know that I love where I'm at because of safety and security here. But sometimes I miss my hometown apartment because I had sex in there. And I know that I'm Unattractive here. I have to go back because nobody wants that adult conversation where they bring something to the table. I will be alone and single. I have to develop from that. I know that I live ideally simple on my own. And I don't want to give that up. I know that I've been richer in experiences, had higher learning and was stronger. I know that I need to work on my fitness and have sex. Feeling that Mawita'mk Society won't relent because I know that they want to keep their innocence. I know that I cannot get certain women and that I accept. So I just got to keep going with my own pursuits. I feel like they are more efforts to be played here. I don't know their plays and I hope t...