Better Off Emotionally Awake

The powers over my mind is mine alone. I know that I need to live my life in a productive regular basis where I get accustomed to work, exercises and recreational study. Depending on my mood at the evening. I want to do early morning exercises where I could start my day strong. I want to get accustomed to a active, regular efficient daily basis kind of productivity with a pro-active grip, endurance and patience to enjoy the movements and strength. I want to learn how to work on certain aspects of my life that would benefit me in the long run. I know that I don't have any responsibilities like kids or parents to take care of. I know that I'm enjoying my single life where I am progressing nicely.

My life is much easier in terms that I live at Mawita'mk Society and its an ideal place to work on my personal growth. To enhance my aspects of life in terms of a first car.
My first fully licensed driver's license and a BA degree. I want to graduate from all these programs where I could synergistically balance the workload and schedules into a good experience.

Through My old life I used to be go through traumas through many mad different stages of my life and I was learning that I was not well received by the generation that wanted me. I know that I would teach my future kid how to exercise, do life skills and financial skills. I would try to get my kid learning life at a good age. When he or she or they are at the age of 9 years old.

I would want to learn how to be a father through pre-training. I know that I want to learn much as I can through books and eBooks. I know that I want to learn much as I can with everything that makes my mind healthy.

Getting information on a regular basis on my evenings would be a useful reading and listening habit. I know that I have learned much as I can with the amount of money I got. I know that my life is easy now but I have been through so much. I was trying to understand psychological knowledge of addictions, coping skills, social strategies and strengths to hang on to. I know that I've learned such Importance to hang on to such strengths, strategies and skills. I know my core knowledge which is life skills and trade skills. I know that I have been learning not to get much as I can with material goods and work on my knowledge.

Life skills has been the essential participation of healthy habits and part of morning routines to keep clean, to clean and organize everything. I am an Virgo tradesman and I know that I like the skepticism of a Virgo. I know that I don't want to learn how to be lazy.

I want to be engaged much as I can, on a regular daily or evening basis. I want to be energized to read, research and investigate. I want to ask about other people's experiences with relationships, addictions and discriminations. The curative purposes of family, sweat lodges and customs is what I've learned throughout the years. I know that ceremonies are used for anger management, a general illnesses, substance abuses, psychosomatic conditions and other things through sweat lodges, traditional medicine, and talking with a spiritual leader.

I know that I want to go back home with a driver's license, BA degree, a second kidney and hopefully a cooking papers and counseling Certificates.

Through my recreational studies I've learned about Indianness, Mi'kmaqness and what it means to be a Complete Indigenous person.

Through reading my books, listening to healing ceremonies and sweat lodge ceremonies. I have learned that most of our healing science is through traditional knowledge that have been underground because of Settler's relationships with native people. I use settler as a governmental, policing and Vatican( the Church) people that is supposed to be sharing resources, economic opportunities and business opportunities. I know that settlers have been taking advantage, without consent of us( Mi'kmaq and Indigenous, Mètis and Inuit peoples), the lands and resources that was supposed to be shared. The taught hatred of the communities of First Nations are what I call home. I have access to the underground native world where I could learn such things. 

And with Indian Residential Schools issues and tragedies, we had a enormous impacts of intergenerational impacts of native struggles. Now they know.

As I read First Nations, Identity and Reserve Life. I learned there is such rich literature on native country. I know that I have to learn the necessary cultures, traditional medicine, the knowledge and experience of the First Nations. And I want to learn the academic literature on First Nations. I want to be part of my underground native people that use the old language. There is the Francis system which is relatively hard and easy sometimes. But there is the old language that I want to learn about.

My experience with sweat lodges have been therapeutic and relaxing. I would have such a family support systems that I would have anger management, therapy and purification ceremonies. A good time sweat lodge and a good understanding of life. I know that at a young age I would be smart and I know that smarts is the synergistically balance of knowledge, experience, wisdom.

It was the synergistically balances of knowledge, experience, wisdom, guidance and therapy. I have learned off of my stepfather's and biological mother's family. I've learned such depth in my emotional intelligence that I had a profundity of darkness from trauma because I would think of it incessantly. Trying to make meaning out of the violence I've experienced.

I know that my real father would appreciate the true personal story or history of my life. The historicity of my blogs are of the native child addict that turned into a sick kid. Who faced discriminations in my own hometown and with settlers who want to show that they are superior. Supercops that want to discriminate against the native child. You develop a emotional connection with someone that have told their story. But to find the connections with me is to see the inner worlds of each person in relation to me.

I know that I just want to uplift and remedied a situation through knowledge. I want to teach much as I can because I have knowledge, experience, personal and social wisdoms, my own guides and mentors to help out. I know that I want to learn everything I can with how much I got in books, eBooks, magazines, comic books, pdfs, encyclopedias, printouts and audiobooks. I want to learn so much that I have been very recreationally studious in my time.

I just don't think with this dialysis I would be very studious. I know that studious means inclined to study. Spending a lot of time reading and studying. Yes, I got access to an endless human range of knowledge and information on my smartphone. But I have to use it in moderation where I could get the authentic experience of reading in a book. 

The feel, the smell and the familiar touch.
I know that if I do need the knowledge I could get it on the internet. But nothing beats the hearty conversation of exchanging of information and daily events in on good time moment.

Being emotionally awaken by this side of the family tree. I know that I love my stepfather and love my real father. But I want to be independent. Meaning working on my personal growth in namely enhancing my credentials, skills, personal fitness, walking and aspects of independence like a BA degree and driver's license.

I want to be able to be part of We'koqma'q community with all the work experience of a band office worker, welfare worker or anyone one of the professional jobs I could try out with a BA degree, if I get one. I know that I want to be well trained in the school of thought and be patient.

I just send off my transcripts to Cape Breton University from NSCC. I know that I want to graduate from Cape Breton University a couple of times through the Elmitek program. I want to use this program well and get a good job out of it. I know that I have been intimidated and discriminated against through people that want to have control over me. They want to perpetuate dependency in a cycle of pain and addictions. I know that I don't need that and I know that I need to work on my BA degree.

I want to have all the necessary routines in place and learn to build them on my own. I want to be able to do all the chores I need to do on my own. I know that I could do it because I've done it before. And I know that I could live in Vancouver, British Columbia for TRIUMF University. I know that I want to live my life to the fullest with all that and I know that I want to drive there.

Before I leave for all that I want to be fit and have enough smarts to have everything I need for my own life. The flow of free creativity and the new things I could have. I know that I want to learn a new place. I want to learn much as I can here and go Vancouver to live my life there.

I know there is so much I can do here. I know that I don't need a house but I do need a car. One of these days I will have an apartment in Sydney, Cape Breton or in Vancouver. I know that I need to read as much as I can with everything I have. And I know that I could hold many books on my personal bookcases. And I know well enough that I got enough pdfs. I just got to build a good collection of kindle eBooks and audiobooks. 

A very good collection of audiobooks and eBooks on my phone. I know that I'm busy with everything I have now. I know that I could be immersed into the literary world and the audiobooks. And enjoy my stay there. 

I'm weird and nerdy and Vickie cannot stand that. I cannot zone out or do whatever I want. I feel that I don't want to settle for this place because when I get my second kidney, I hope that I could re-imagine my life in Vancouver and have a good life there.