Suspicious Minds

I know that I feel happy here and in that I don't want to be stuck on that happiness like a deepening complacency. Where I feel comfortable and complacent. I want to be healthily happy and full of contentment because I an getting my new second kidney. 

And have all the possibilities available. If that was something. I know with the possibilities and potentials of having a new second kidney, I would enjoy my freedom in that way. With getting credentials and licenses. I would enjoy my time in Cape Breton and moved permanently in Halifax. I would have my Red Seal papers in Plumbing and ISSA-CANADA Cleaning Management Institute Custodial Technician Training Certificate. I would have my CBU BA degree and Master of Counseling psychology. And my full driver's license and truck. But then I would have Retail Council of Canada credentials by then. Hopefully, I can get my old job back when I do get my second kidney.

And have my retail job with a pretty good paycheck. I hope that I live an accomplished, successful and thriving life of Cape Breton Island. I hope that I'm competent enough to pass all the courses that come my way and I have everything I need like my second kidney. The possibilities, probabilities and potentials of having a second new kidney is endless. Of course I have to map out my reasons behind my courses. I want more of a understanding in my job that way I could advertise and market with my job.

I want to be able to have a good understanding of sales techniques and coping skills in the job. I want to be able to take pride in the jobs I step up to. And use them as stepping stones in getting my own truck. I want to get my NSCC Plumbing Certificate and get my Red Seal papers in that. Hopefully, have a good reputation at both of these jobs.

And have a few new credentials hanging in my bedroom wall. Hopefully, it's paying Certificates that I could get. And I know that I could have a good understanding of the job and the seriousness of attendance at the job. Suspicious minds wouldn't want me to succeed because they are worried I would usexmy money for vengeance. I know that I got everything I needed before I had the kidney decline.

I'm in a rich environment of learning. Learning is multifaceted and open to anyone. I know that I want to be learning from my books. I want to read them and start working on them without the book club. I know that I've needed something to motivate myself. With my readings I want to learn a lot of understanding of coping skills, essence of entrepreneurship and other things. I want to understand a lot but my days get so busy trying to catch up with my chores and to-dos.

I know that I needed rest and a good mind. Connie has a suspicious mind and don't want to let go. But too Darren today was telling me that I cannot use that much syrup. I know that pancakes are delicious with syrup but sometimes I wish I had my own place, away from Mawita'mk Society, Supported Apartments and Ni'kinen house. Sometimes I want to simply enjoy my afternoon with pancakes without having to restrain myself. I know that Mawita'mk Society don't like it when I do enjoy my food with ease. I know that I cannot have my emotional sanity and comfort of my hometown family. I know that I never had any connections or anything in Eskasoni.

Before I move back to Eskasoni with a second kidney, I want to have a physical muscular fitness and a bunch of new credentials from Retail Council of Canada, ISSA-CANADA Cleaning Management.

I want to have credentials and licenses from Nova Scotia Graduated Driver's Licensing Program, Cape Breton University and NSCC Community College. I want to get credentials from Retail Council of Canada and ISSA-CANADA Cleaning Management Institute. And have my Custodial Technician Training Certificate and get expert level at that, have my NSCC Plumbing Certificate and Red Seal papers in that. And have a Cleaning and Plumbing service. I want to have a bunch of credentials and jobs with it to back me in earning a reputable due diligence.

I want to pay my dues and have my days in routines of physical muscular fitness, walking endurance, degrees and Certificates and licenses. Jobs, driving jobs, employment and professions. I want to have everything I need to have a professional excellent service and pride in my duty. Justice is such a universal concept and indivisible.

That we need to live our lives in kindness, compassion, empathy and love. I know that there are rough little hoodlums but I want to be tough and strong. I want to be independent and thriving. I know that I want to live my life in We'koqma'q community until I can drive to Cape Breton University and move right in Sydney. I, then can get my NSCC Plumbing Certificate at Marconi Campus and get my Red Seal papers in that by doing apprenticeship under a Red Seal Certifed Plumber. I hope that I could do much as I can with plumbing that I have such a personal pride and a sense of purpose in my professionalism, quality of work and attendance.

I want to spend a few years in Sydney on my own where I have my own place with a parking lot, spacious apartment with two rooms. One to keep my exercising equipments in and have one bedroom TV.

And one Livingroom TV. I know that I want to have everything I need to work, live and drive. These are just possibilities of getting a second transplant kidney. I hope that I could get my full driver's license and job at We'koqma'q One Stop. And hopefully, they pay for education at Retail Council of Canada Retail Education Training courses and Retail Education Certifications courses. I hope that I could learn a lot in my time with We'koqma'q One Stop. I know that We'koqma'q have Skills Development while Eskasoni, my hometown has Skills Enhancement Program with M.E.T.S program.

If I do move I hope that I could get my Retail Council of Canada credentials from Eskasoni Skills Enhancement Program. And get a good understanding of the Retail business. I want to have customer service and sales techniques. Hopefully, I can get ISSA-CANADA Cleaning Management Institute.

I know that I want to be skilled in a few interrelateable kind of jobs. Hopefully, I can get my second kidney and then get my full driver's license. If I could get that, I could get my Retail Council of Canada credentials from Eskasoni Skills Enhancement Program. And enjoy my training and skills Enhancement with a good grades and a good social understanding of wants and needs. I know that I need to see if METS Program is willing to pay for something like that. I just got to ask if they do Skills Enhancement. Or through the Skills Enhancement Program could I get funding for Retail Council of Canada credentials.

If I do get my second kidney and get my old job back. I could call up Eskasoni Band Office and find out who I need to contact and talk to about Eskasoni Skills Enhancement Program. I know that I don't get to do much in terms of getting my own apartment.

I know that I need to surpass the suspicions of these minds. And get my life together in ways of getting my second kidney. With that I could do a lot and gain a lot. I've lived in We'koqma'q community for eleven long happy years. And I don't want to spoil the fact that I'm extremely independent. I want to enjoy the comforts and perks of financial independence and work. I want to enjoy my independence and freedom. But not right now because I want to enjoy the service and care of Mawita'mk Society. Hopefully, I can get my own full driver's license when I do get my second kidney.

I know that suspicious minds are always stopping me in my tracks. Or trying to limit the food I eat. I know that I need strength to carry on with my renal diet. I know that I need to pray for strengths and powers to have self-discipline in my own way. I know that I want to learn from Mawita'mk Society.

I want to learn healthy meal portions. And have a good meal every time I eat. Soul food has always been my focus. I know that I want to learn from Ann Marie Powers and the internet. Hopefully, I can learn a lot in my time. Countless hunts for my failures, some have succeeded and others are still trying. I know that I have enemies in Eskasoni but too, I have good people there too. I know that I won't be able to fight or train for vengeance. That's perpetuating dependency on drugs, violence and abuses. I don't want that.

I've healed, now the Forgiveness Feast I need to do. There is a lot I don't get to do. And at Mawita'mk Society I am relearning the culture, tradition, heritage and accomplishments of my people. I want to train because it's a healthy self-interest that could benefit me in a good way. I know that health is the least of my worries. And in that I've been malnourished, poor and hurting.

I want a variety of self-interests where I enjoy Christmas movies and other things. Mawita'mk Society has been getting me to look forward every year and the years to come. They wanted me happy and full of contentment because I am loved, cherished and cared for. I know that they wanted me healed and working on my own career. Hoping that I cod succeed in my standing with We'koqma'q One Stop. I know that I want to live my life here because I got no lover, no online accounts, no online banking, no expired Beginner's license and no trade. I know that I needed to live here or Sydney for 4 years when I do get my NSCC Plumbing Certificate. That's if I do get my second kidney.

I feel enriched and clean, fresh and styling. I know that I want to have good clothes, good shoes or winter boots. I want to have good coat and winter hat. I hope that I could get everything I need to live, work and drive.