Intergenerationalism

I cannot post pictures of my baby nieces because my sister Katt requested me not to. I've broken a promise and I'm terribly disappointed in myself and sorry. I feel bad with all that. I just post them out of love and pride. Seeing the joys on their faces and having a means to show all that through posting a picture is my best work of my own family albums. I know that I'm happy where I'm at and happy that my family are healthy. But taking those photos and showing them to my friends on Facebook is my greatest joy. But I do have to be cautious because people could steal them and post them on their Facebook.

I know that I don't know much about online security. I know that I have been learning about Facebook security. I know that I'm still learning about online stuff. Hopefully everyone that I know could help out with security. I know that there are 7.753 billion.

7.753 billion people on this planet and we are ever-expanding on this planet. Soon there will be new creative genius apartments for family and singles. I know that is what I want because I know that I want a thriving business or a skilled profession. I know that I want to have my full driver's license and job. I want to have a good income and a good profession. I want to have a professional schedule of every month. I know that is my hustle; a professional schedule of every month.

I know that I'm a Certified Skilled tradesman and a Certified driver. I want to get my full driver's license and grow accustomed to driving around Cape Breton Island and Nova Scotia and Canada. I want to know the difference between highways and roads through signs and other things. I want to have that geographic memory and knowledge of the roads.

I have to respect my sister's wishes because they are legitimate concerns. I know that I love my family and I am so proud of them. I hope that they believe in themselves as much as I did. I know that my stepuncle took everything away from me. I cannot defend myself because he took everything away from me. But I know that he has given so much yet he took so much. I know that I'm still learning to work this posting stuff. I'll need permission from my sisters to post the pictures.

But I know that I was learning how to get my stuff together today. Some old jealousy I was going through while I wrote some of these blogs. Some old hatred, jealousy and anger I had to calm down and get out of my system. I know that something triggered me and I know that I never had processed these emotions.

But I feel that I had some old unprocessed feelings that nobody wanted me to process. I know that I am learning emotional literacy again and I want to articulate my feelings in a pronounced way. I know that I've been supported well and still being supported. I know that I love this place because I get to go out and do stuff in my life. I feel that I have been learning to be patient and calm. I know that I have a good chunk of change out of my pocket. And I know that I want to work but Mawita'mk Society won't let me because I am on dialysis. I feel like I'm financially trapped here because I don't get to do any job.

I know that I need some kind of income. I feel that my sisters ripped me off. I have to deal with the credit company. I know that the phones are under my name and I feel like I am the target. I know that I don't get to choose my own phone company. I feel like I need a break.

I know that I've been going through a lot at my young age, I've been going through a lot during my teen years and suffered in my twenties. And now I have financial burden and a bad creditin my 30s. My sister fucked up my credit by putting those phones under my name. And I hope that she could fix this. But retrospecting this I could've done some preventive measures at times. I know that I never had any safe life.

I have a good life in We'koqma'q but I want to build a good life in Eskasoni. Create healthy, happy memories in a warm apartment. I want to make an apartment homey and cozy and continue to build a life there. I want to thrive in Eskasoni where I could flourish and graduate from couple programs. Either cooking program and Bachelor of Arts program or plumbing program and Bachelor of Arts program. I want to test myself in how much I understand.

I want to try NSCC Plumbing Certificate program, NSCC Cooking Certificate program, NSCC Automobile Service and Repair Certificate program, NSCC Sea Farm Operation Certificate program. And Bachelor of Arts program. I have so much to choose from that I know a few things. I have Home Repair books, Auto Repair book and I have YouTube videos. I know a thing or two about certain things. All these options to test my knowledge out.

I hope that I could get all these Certificates and degrees and diplomas. I want to be the truest student of life and school. I want to have an academic mind and be academically inclined with my level of knowledge. Of course I have to push up on some knowledge and get a few good things going. I know that I have knowledge to work around here because I am a Certified Skilled Tradesman. And a Certified Skilled driver.

I want to have the mechanical basic knowledge again because I could help people out and do a program in Certifying women who needs help with their cars. I could get an update with my knowledge because I am a modern man. I could get Certified in Automobile Service and Repair, use my knowledge to Certified women in basic mechanical  knowledge and safety checks. The emphasis on safety.

If I could get Norma and Mike to help out with classroom tension and personality conflicts. I could focus on Certifying women in a lot. The advertising would be "Want to learn basic construction techniques and coping skills? Want to understand your car or vehicle better? If you have a car you could join this program because it's for people that want to understand the basics of Trades." I know that I could get all this through NSCC School of Trades.

I know that I have a bit of knowledge as an old fashion man who wants to teach his sisters in mechanical knowledge. Those would've been the benefit of having my own full driver's license, being able to identify creaks, spuds and leaks. And have everything I need to work the positive mechanical knowledge. I know that I have a lot of knowledge in ways of being productive with small repairs. I am a Certified Skilled Tradesman and a Certified driver. I know that I have basic knowledge of automobile service. I know that I could Certify women in a lot of knowledge in mechanics and basic knowledge of construction.

I'm a product of anger and historical trauma. I know that I have been learning to live my life in a productive way. I want to enjoy structure in my life. Routines and habits I want to build up. And establish as a way of active and productive lifestyle.

I know that I used to be strong minded that what I wrote I would do or what I said I would do. I know that I'm happy how Mawita'mk Society has this support system in their group home. And I know that I'm happy how my life turned out to be. I've been educated and thoroughly trained in basic construction techniques and mechanical knowledge. But I know that I'm a Handyman by my stepfather's teachings. I'd loved it because I was learning how to change the oil, Identify and diagnose problems and fixing certain things.

Basic knowledge of car systems and how they can work with certain systems. I don't know these computer cars but I know that old car systems. I know that I have been learning through my stepfather certain techniques or tricks of the Trades. I just need to study my books in order to refresh on my mechanical and construction knowledge. I should be able to tell certain things.

I know that these unprocessed feelings of my youngest past is what im dealing with now. I know that I am hurting and in that I need to relax. I know that I'm not perfect or ideal but I know that I'm trying to be tough and independent, smart and resourceful, intelligent and clever. I want to be this guy who studies coping skills from psychology books. I know that I've been taught the seven sacred teachings and virtues. I know that I'm loved and cherished but I need to keep my connections through Mawita'mk Society. I know that I have to focus on my fitness. Toughness is the strength to do stuff through roughness, pains and uncomfortable situations. Like doing fitness exercises to condition my body instead of plateaus, I want to have that doing motivatedly.

I know that I'm loved and supported. I know that I have to get sugar out of my diet. I know that I'm still learning about nutrition.

What are the dyads or triads of native intergenerational family systems which people have traumas and addictions? What are the clusters, alliances and cut-offs in the  intergenerational/multi-generational indigenous family systems? I know that Dr. Tian Dayton has passed away. I was hoping to put the intergenerational family systematic genealogy into my Ancestry app. I want to research the family and have all those stories recorded and written up. I need a good recorder from Amazon. And get a good momentum going with all this.

I know that I want to have my own map of family tree. I want the stories and understanding of family's skills, trade and jobs. I want to know what they know. I want to understand, through psychodrama and living genogram and have that deep understanding of my family. I hope that I could get my family in this. 

I want a rich personal and family shared histories in the genealogy. I want to put a story in my Ancestry app. I want to put my story on there. And put all the family's stories, birthdays, occupations, graduations, tradition and skills. People want to keep things private because they have shames that they don't want to deal with. But I know that I have shames I don't want to deal with. I'm trying to do this respectful and honest.