I'm the Stepson

I know that everything is based on nepotism and favoritism in my hometown, in First Nation communities and in community elections. I know that I wouldn't have any chance to develop if I was in Eskasoni. Too, We'koqma'q community is based on nepotism and favoritism systems. I don't know why there is any native systems at all. I know that I had a few job experiences but I usually have a medical reasons why I cannot attend work. And nobody wants me to miss a day. I know that favoritism works by sucking up or being a nephew or niece. I know how tough it is to be a stepson and amount to nothing so long because of intergenerational impacts, favoritism and nepotism.

What's fair hiring practices in native world. Because of Indian Residential School we are suffering from a disportionate way of living economically. I know that I've learned to accept Welfare life for a long time.

I know if I am not working or doing sports at a young age, I know that I'm not really respected. I know I'd dropped out because I had so many enemies in Eskasoni. I know that I did not have any breaks or freedom. I know that I wasn't given any leeway to develop or have any sports. I know that as a stepson I was left out of the equation. And I know that many other people got the job because of nepotism. A practice of people in power to favor friends or relatives to give them economic benefits like money or information or job preferences.

I know that I wasn't part of the family that had jobs back in 2003. I know that I didn't have what I have now. And I know that job is a job by the Dignity of Labour philosophy. I know that I have been learning about my job opportunities. And I know that I did not have any smartphone or educational accomplishments.

I want to trust my home cultural community. I know that I could because I have been left alone. I know that I was left alone because I know that I did not have any room for laziness. I know that I was trying to do odd jobs and everything I can to make some bucks. I know there have been major changes and milestones in my life that I know that I'd recovered and recuperated from malnourishment periods of my life. I know that I never had any life experience where I was driving on my own. I am goal-oriented and career-minded, I know that I want to be able to say that I practice all my skills by simply being active. Everyone knows how to cook, at least my generation.

I know that I could go for NSCC Certificate  programs and Diploma programs. I know that I am well trained in Landscaping laboring. I know that I want to test my knowledge in tailoring college programs, cooking program.

My upbringing was a sadden one but my stepfather, and uncles have taught me so many things. Building fences, planting trees, building garden boxes and gardening. Fixing old cars, vans and other vehicles. Having forms of calisthenics and forms of exercises. Having life skills like clean up after I made a mess. Cooking and cleaning while I'm home and have a good washer and dryer. I know that my step granny didn't want me to succeed. And I know that I wanted to stay. I just needed a smartphone, calendar and rides.

I am the luckiest 36 years old because I have volunteer work experiences in landscaping laboring, indoor plumbing and indoor repairs. I have built with my stepfather decks, steps and porches. I know a thing or two about building, I know that measuring in Imperial rule is necessary. And the type of cut. I have yet to master tools and measuring tape.

My public story should be about my life that I had, what I'm looking for and what I am going through. It should be respected in terms of life and a general skills set. I know that I have been the stepson and had disadvantages, no benefits of a family or parents, have been living at a real poor way. I know that people wanted me indebt and living with the harassments of credit companies. I know that I got accomplishments, milestones and regular treatment of food three times a day. I know that I could improve my fitness by walking and doing forms of exercises good. I know that there are repetitions and sets.

Sets is completing several repetitions of a specific exercise in a good form of performance and in a row which is called a set. It's a common workout strategy to do a planned number of sets of each forms of exercises. But a short rest between sets could improve the feeling of a workout.

I know that I've done sets and reps in Eskasoni Fitness Center. But I know that I cannot do it there anymore because the gym bullies. I know with every gym there is a gym bully. I don't want to face that in my life because there isn't any way to stop these bullies. I know that I want to build my own home basement gym and have my own time to work out. I know that I have to get my own place and build my own garage gym. I feel that Mawita'mk Society don't want me to do it alone because of the inexperiences of them having a home gym. I know that they don't trust me with a home gym.

I want to move because I want to make my own garage like shed gym and Spacemaker Washer and Dryer area. I want to build my own garage. I know that I want to move because of certain limiting beliefs and factors in my way of building a home gym here.

Mawita'mk Society wants me comfortably accepting the fact I have to obey. They don't respect my independence and freedom here. I know this because of certain measures of control here. I know that I want to move out of here because I could enjoy my life better. I know there isn't any management I have to talk to when it comes to my own place. 

Maybe they do but I want to enjoy my independence and freedom in Eskasoni because I know that I wouldn't be able to work my angles in Eskasoni. I know that I have a pretty decent place here. I appreciate this place because I know that I have opportunities here.

The promises of opportunities here to work on my goals is what keeping me here. I know that I am left alone when it comes to my bedroom. And I know that I need a reading area in the den. I feel that I have everything I need to live my life here.

I just got to work on my physical health during my days here. Today it is Monday and I went to see my Dentist Dr. Chris Macdonald. I know that I am learning emotional perspectives and intelligence. I feel like I never was an attractive person because I know that I never had any real lovers or romance. But I had my fair shares of women and I know that I wasn't the first choice. I has cold love and I know that people are cruel in their own way. They don't care unless their lives are easier. And I know that I'm stuck at Mawita'mk Society because I don't want to be known. I know that I wasn't chosen foe anything.

I'm the stepson, I'm supposed to have less and not be able to amount to anything. I know that I've never had any regular employment and I know that I'd wasted some years resting. I know that I couldn't do what I needed to do in order to feel job satisfaction.
Sick of being the guy who needs socialization. 

I don't want to be bothered or annoyed by. I know that I cannot get any dates on Tinder or Facebook dating app. I know that I'm ugly because I've been on Facebook dating app for years. And I know that I cannot get laid off of those apps. I know that I don't get to choose my women because I'll be considered shallow. I know that I don't get to choose anything because I know that I never had any romance. 

Muscles, money and higher sociological factors is what is attractive. I know this because I never socialize with hot girls. I know that I cannot get laid because I need some kind of catalyst.

I know that I never was the first choice but I know that people find reasons to not like me. I feel like I never was changed by any woman because they were addicts. I know that I never had any real connections, lovers or changes in my romantic aspects.

I don't trust Darren because he is an asshole. I know that because he has shown what kind of guy he really is when nobody is watching. I don't trust anyone here because of the freedom to harm. I know that I don't have the muscles to defend myself. I know that they are cowards because they keep on exercising. And putting measures or control in me for their benefits. Vickie, Clyde, Darren and others. I am not truly safe here because they would let residents influence me in every way.

I know that they want me to submit or be subsume by their arrogance. They say if they can back it up, it's not arrogance. What is it then? When you think highly of yourself and don't show the Seven Sacred teachings? Arrogance is boistering about one's sense of importance and worth like it is out of the balance if personal powers. I know that they want that kind of exaggerated sense.

I know that I don't want to deal with anyone here because they don't believe in the Seven Sacred teachings in its truest forms. I have to deal with arrogance and rudeness. I know that I don't get to enjoy safety here because it's conditional. Mawita'mk Society wouldn't want to interfere with residents' arrogance. I know there isn't any boundaries here, no personal balance of powers or respectability for me. I know that they want me to submit my independence, neutrality and freedom in exchange for their beliefs. I know that they don't respect, care or want me to succeed like that because it would mean that I don't need them.

They are afraid of not being needed. I could find anything on the Internet. Books I need, to YouTube instructional videos. I know that I'd figured all that out before they'd mentioned anything. I just didn't want to tell them anything. I don't need them at all.

I know that people need to be needed. And I know that I don't get to enjoy my sense of independence, purpose, neutralism and freedom. I feel that everyone that have met up with me has been a detrimental influence in my life. I never had any defenses against older people. I know that Roddie wants me to listen to him because he wants his respect. I know that my way of thinking isn't about cultural ageism affecting me. But rather how this particular guy is affecting me because he doesn't want any boundaries. Mentally detrimental and bad for forcing things. I know that I'm trapped here.

Vickie have forced down my neutral mind and tried to forced me into a conversation I did not want. I don't want that happening again because everyone is against me. I know that I'm still stuck at Mawita'mk Society because I don't get to practice my way of thinking. I know what they consider that to be.

That kind of attitude towards elders is considered an insult. They put measures of control in my mind and try to force me to have conversations I don't want. Or situation I don't want. My practice of attitude towards elders about my way of independence, neutrality and freedom isn't what they want to understand. I know that they want me to suffer more for their sense of justice or respect. I cannot let them win because they want me to give up. I know that because everything is about their respect.

I know that I'm not loved or cared for because I'm stuck at Mawita'mk Society, respecting through their lenses and perception. And I don't want to be because it's an cultural ageism I have to deal with. It's just independence, neutrality and freedom. I'm the stepson of William Stewart Morrison senior and son of Vincent Syliboy senior. I know that I don't get my respect. 

I know that I cannot really be independent of the culture because they wouldn't let me. I know that I had defenses against everyone. And in that they wouldn't let me be like that. They feared I might get an upper advantage over them. 

Comedy and accepting things seem to be a sort of therapy. How inaccept it depends on how I see the world. I know that the travesty of my past is what people would create and built based on their hatred for me or respects for me. I know that I never was changed in any way and in that I was told that it was my faults. I don't delight or please anyone because I am annoying. My real father taught me that at least.