Old Friendz

I know that I've had challenging times in my younger life. I know that I had an old friends by my side. But I think most of my old friends have passed on. I know that I never was freed here but with them. I know that I had old friends/older aged cousins who looked out for me and wanted me to learn all about respect. I know what I've said to them and they've respected me for everything I've done. I know that I could've earn a good living by doing plumbing and building for myself. I feel that I had learned woodcraft/building from old friends.

Then I'd learned bushcraft/hunting with my uncles who I'd never thought was going to teach me anything through TV. They had hunting shows, MTV, Much music and news. I knew nothing with my biological mother because there was no need to teach me at the time but damn! It sure as hell hit quickly when the shit hit the fan.

I had Child Protection Agency coming around and trying to break us apart. It was one hell of an emotional/physical/mental and spiritual hell I did not like. I did not know how to fight these agencies and I did not know how to stop what I was going through. So, I had to learn from old friends and uncles. I know that I had to dig and listen to hard rock. There is a war in every heart and I've been sober for twelve years. Refreshing on my coping skills and learning concepts like holistic at a young age.

My emotional psycho-spiritual hell was made of adults trying to get back at each other. And not considering children or anything in terms of psycho-sexual development. I know that my biological mother was learning from my old friends. And in that my aunts and uncles had to earn my trust. The most fundamental reason why a child addict would do something

It was hard to get a hold of parenting on a child addict that didn't want to be bothered by the parents he is trying to forget. I know that was caused by hypersexuality and I know that the world works through hypergamy. I know that I don't possess any attractive qualities because I would've had a woman already. Maybe it's Mawita'mk Society, maybe it's people around here. I'm not too sure but I know that when I was alone in 74th street, I had something. I know that I don't get to choose how I live in Eskasoni because of neighbors against me.

Oh yeah I never heard the end of it from Al too. It was too many people in my apartment or loud music. I couldn't catch a break with my neighbors because everyone wanted me to suffer there. I know this because everyone sent in couple old bullies of mine. And I couldn't defend myself against them. They are cowards because I am weak.

They are pathetic because they wouldn't help out with security, safety or anything. They wouldn't leave me alone because everyone had their opinions. But old friends know how to handle such neighbors. I know that I could've moved long ago but I was aiming to develop professionally. I remember that I wanted my Tik Tok, YouTube and Instagram Reels be about Life Skills, Survival Skills and Coping Skills. I wanted my media outlets to be about a whole range of variety and Skills. I could use a We'koqma'q Radio Show as a cultural knowledge showcases, Online E-Certificates Workshops and LinkedIn vouching.

I could put the radio show on couple of apps like Tik Tok and YouTube. And have Life Skills coaches telling their stories on how they've learned about life skills, and how they've discovered how other people got to that dirty point in their lives.

I know that I could keep jotting down what they want to learn and need in their lives. There is a need for girls and males to help out each other and do what is necessary for all sorts of skills. Learn cultural skills and etiquette. And have a bunch of good lessons on my radio show. But I know that my old friends was older than me. I knew that I could do anything with them. I knew that I'd learned from them and it was something like a crew. I knew that I could do better with them. Work hard and when awake, work harder.

I know that is the old work fashion. I know that I was called off. I used to do pop bottles recycling laboring and sanitation work. I knew that it was part of my laboring experience. I used to install sods(grass pieces) and build a fence around the yard. I knew that I had to sledge-hammered the poles in and nailed the plastic fence around. I knew that I had to do some yard work.

I had to be my stepfather's security guard and landscaping laborer. I knew that I was a builder with my stepfather, making decks, steps and porches. Sheds and garden beds while I plant trees. I knew that it was 3 feet deep. Indoor repair worker and a good student of his. I knew that if I put all my focus into my stepfather's knowledge I would learn as much as I would when I'm in school. I'd learned from my sisters, brothers and cousins but too, my old friends. I know that I had troubles on my mind. I knew that I wanted to get it over and done with.

I know that I want to move back to my hometown apartment because I could make that 74th street apartment homey now. That place inspired me to get an job for my own smartphone bill. I know that I want to develop my own business and pay my own way because my dads love control over my life. I know that I don't want that.

I know that I miss that apartment but I have to give up living there. I still have ghosts of my living. There was some stuff that was good. I know that I don't get any lady or respect because I got enemies in my hometown. It's a bullying situation and they don't want to let me tell my truth. I know that they want me to fail miserably. I don't want to die so I'm stuck here until I do get my own second transplant kidney. The power of a place could be my greatest triumphant recovery or my downfall. I know that I wanted to rely on old friends but they've passed on.

It's been twelve years since I had sex but I know that I wasn't really used of living with truths. I know that Mike MacInnis wouldn't want me to live the right way. I know that I want to stay clear away from him. Until I do move back to my old hometown apartment. That's when I do get my second transplant kidney.

Old friends knew more than I did but I know archeology, biology, and other studies that I would want to travel for. My old friends would call me the Heavy Metal Scientist. Books that damn well have shaped my thoughts, actions and emotions. Like Dr. Daniel Goleman's work of Emotional Intelligence. Happy that I got all these collections of books and encyclopedias, PDFs and eBooks, magazines and comic books, and dictionaries. I know that I could learn much as I can through all that and work it through Colleges, Universities and academies.

I know that I have doctors like Dr. Philip Zimbardo, Dr. Tara Bennett-Goleman, Dr. Marsha Linehan, and the book I'd finished by Dr. Tian Dayton, Trauma and Addiction. I have Dr. John Gottman books that I could learn from. All these people have interesting topics in their doctoral dissertations and authored books over the years, good knowledge.

All these psychologists have one thing in common: to enhance human understanding of personalities, mental disorders, mood disorders neurological disorders, mind and psychohistory. It depends on what you accept in your life and learn coping skills and philosophy and history of psychology. I got a collection of bibles in literature. I know that I have read to an extent but I have to keep going because I am glad today I got all this knowledge. Alexithymic Profundity of my own appreciation and appetite for books. I know that half of my books I have is what I wanted before anyone knew I wanted books. I know to read Aristotle's books, Plato and Socrate's books.

I know that I have books that connect my books to everything. As a picture of health I have in my mind because I am a former addict, I know that I should've read these books long ago. And exercised and worked.

That is living the healthy lifestyle: reading good books, encyclopedias, PDFs, printouts, dictionaries, eBooks and magazines. And after I spend a few hours with writing or reading, I should start exercising and try to make it a good habit. Doing the holistic healthy lifestyle of Mawita'mk Society's vision of my life. Mawita'mk Society is here to help me in my goals, not handing me assignments or work. Obviously I haven't been able to do what I wanted to do. But with old friends I had a venting and ways of expressing myself without interruptions. Through my old friends I was learning my values, culture, Tradition and spirituality.

I know that I wanted to embrace my own place while I lived in Eskasoni. I was cleaning up after my mess. I was doing what I needed to do to make money with Tully. I knew that I had a good system, just needed upgrading. I needed online banking at the time.

I know that my mental disorder is my fall from independence and paradise. I had a good life but I know that I was learning to defend for myself. I should've made preparations for a mental health disorder. I was a mess and needed a good group home like how I got now. I know that I miss my independence and paradise but I know that I needed to be reminded about my life skills in a group home. Independence is a type of self-governance or self-reliance where I could thrive, work and go to school. I could enjoy my freedom without having to go anywhere or get high or drink beer.

Addictions have ran rampant in my life. I know I've riddled my life with drugs, alcohol and inhalants. I know that I've needed a good suffering off of all this and live my life out in peace. I know that I've suffered to get this far in my life. Good suffering is suffering to a more sober, productive and thriving lifestyle.

The Power of a home, the power of a place with good staff. The power of belief that I have in God. The power to overcome my traumas. I could've gotten these books and make that place my greatest triumphant recovery while I lived there. The power of a community could help me in driving, education, fitness and work. As a child addict learning coping skills, yo rely on our cultural knowledge and traditional practices. I'd learned about books I would want to read as a assiduous general reader/student of life I could be. I wanted to learn Nicomachean Ethics, Dialogues of Plato collections, Metaphysics, and other books.

I wanted to learn on a daily basis and grow accustomed to learning important things. Foundational learning of a general skilled reader/Student of life has its benefits. Eskasoni is my hometown but that power of that place is to be self-deluded in love.

I'm sort of a self-learning student of philosophy, psychology and sciences. I am studious but I recover slowly. I don't have expert knowledge, critical but creative acumen or skilled profession. I want to but I have to work at expanding my mind and learning all these psychologists' coping skills, strategies and tips. I hope that I could learn as much as I can with these life skills and other skills. I know that I have intelligent creativity, critical historiographies and a good understanding of history.

I know that I'm at a good place and I want to move back home when I'm good and ready. I know that my family wants me to live a productive, holistically whole healthy lifestyle where I'm writing, reading and doing fitness training. That is living the healthy lifestyle: reading, writing and exercising. I have dialysis three times a day. I have appointments every once in a while.

Old friendz wanted me to thrive, work and learn to make money. There is so many ways I could make money. Get my Horticulture and Landscape Technology diploma or carpentry papers, plumbing or cooking Certificates, or Bachelor of Arts program. It's my choice and I could test much knowledge as I want once I do get my second transplant kidney. Being tough enough to have my life together, I know that I want better for myself. I want my thriving independence and flourishing freedom. I want to test my knowledge in everything. I could get my Automobile Service and Repair Certificate program.

I know that I have a bright future and I know that I have a lot of good people in my life. I would want to make my money with them on my side because I know that I could get my second transplant kidney. I just got to lose the weight. And start exercising with my own equipments.

All Mawita'mk Society can offer is care, support and supervision which I like but don't need because of my level of independence. I know that I'm very independent, strong and faithful. I know that I want to be this person who has been through many years programs while living in We'koqma'q community, with many jobs, careers and projects. I want to be this kind who has lived well, meant well and intended well. I want to be this guy who has known life experiences like flying on a helicopter. Or sky diving, off-road biking and hiking, and enjoying my summer with my family.