Being Successful, Accomplished and Thriving

Being successful, accomplished and thriving in Mawita'mk Society is all good and everything. Yes, it covers my needs but I need to go for my wants and needs. I know that Mawita'mk Society is my extended family but I have an adopted family who wants me to stay here. I know that I have been learning about the psychology of relationships, the science of it and learning about important questions with dating. I feel that I just want to know all this and incorporate some of it onto a creative solutions for my own theories. I know that I have been learning about the true history and philosophy of psychology. And I'd learnt about Dr. Tian Dayton's emotional literacy.

I see going out as a duty, a real chore to get ready for meeting people because I have to put my best step forward. I would rather go Eskasoni or movies or pool hall or bowling alleys by myself and have a good time there.

I know that I would want to get some friends and try to enjoy myself. But they all have kids and it seems that I'd missed my opportunities to go out on dates. I should've gotten my full driver's license long ago. I should've graduated long ago. But it seems everyone wants controllability over how I drive. And how I should work because nobody wanted me in Eskasoni. I know that I'd asked everyone and nobody wanted me. Even family, just giving me petty cash for stuff I've done. Throughout my life I never really had any successes, accomplishments or got my full driver's license.

I know that I don't have any true control or independent life because I don't have rights to get work or schooling or driving goals. I know that I'm stuck on dialysis and have been getting depressed and grieving. I cannot seem to get what I want. I hope that I could get my BA degree and my full driver's license.

I don't want to be stagnant and dependent anymore. I want to be able to drive myself our of Mawita'mk Society. I know that Maugit teases but I feel that Rosie is taking her sweet time. I know that my sister Billie Jean left to Dartmouth and nobody in the family wants to help out in that regard because they are all selfish pricks. I don't care how I should get my full driver's license, I just want to renew my Beginner's license and carry on with practicing driving. A lot of people discount my driving experiences and wants me to start from scratch. I know that is how Raf did it and Tyson. And my sister Billie Jean.

I imagine Rosie would discount my experiences. I know that nobody wanted me to succeed in driving. I feel that I'm stuck in stagnancy and dependency because Mawita'mk Society don't want to help me. 

Being successful, accomplished and thriving is having my own house or apartment.

Having my full driver's license and profession. 

I know that I want to develop personally from my books and fitness goals. And get my full driver's license and BA degree since I'm already Certified in Trades. I know that I don't have any employment, schooling or driving goals up and running. I hope that I could get something going for me. My dating life is deaden. My step-parents don't want me successful, accomplished and thriving. I am an problem to get rid of. And that's what they did, got rid of the problem.

I'm 36 years old and I could cover my wants and needs on my own. I want to develop personally from books and fitness. I hope that I could get a good momentum going with schooling, fitness and books. Struggles of my life I cannot stand it when I'm stuck in stagnancy and dependency which I've been in most of my life. I haven't learned from my stepfather about plumbing.

And I haven't gotten any car or job. I'm stuck where I'm at because I cannot earn my way without Rosie's approval. Mawita'mk Society won't do anything without Rosie's approval. I know that I'm not happy with the level of employability and education because I cannot do anything with it. Having this NSCC Construction Trades Labor program Certificate of Accomplishment credential is nothing. I cannot get a trade job and I cannot seem to go anywhere because of dialysis.

Life goes quick and it seems that I have been expired since I got my NSCC Construction Trades Labor program Certificate. I cannot appeased or please anyone because nobody wants me to develop or grow professionally, personally or physically. Especially since I'm from Eskasoni and the discriminations continues. Raf had been essential, integral and central in getting my We'koqma'q Adult Essential Skills Enhancement Program.

And essential to getting my first Beginner's license. I know that if I was living in Eskasoni I might be able to get somebody to train me in driving. I would had to explain my situation and get them to drive me around. But I think Eskasoni is more understanding than We'koqma'q community. It's my hometown and nobody can change that. I'd grown up in Eskasoni and I'd had a lot of good memories, reasons to live there, productive lifestyle there and had a good time in my apartment. I could remember people being jealous of my money and sex. But I know that I could've handled my own schedule in Eskasoni.

I just got to be aware of my own environment. And get my bearings in Eskasoni to build a routine in Eskasoni. I always hope that I could move back when I do get everything I need to live by myself. Originally I was a laborer and I know that my step grandmother always wanted to hold me down.

I need my fitness to get on the transplant kidney list. And I need to be more healthier and active to feel pretty good. Why force something that is not wanted? I mean I want to renew my Beginner's license and keep working on my goals. But that's not happening and I'm stuck where I'm at. I just have to renew my Beginner's license and keep working on small steps. I know that I have to wait for Rosie because Mawita'mk Society has full control over my life.

Yeah I have to take baby steps to full terms of independence. I know that I need to work on my fitness to get on my transplant kidney list. I hope that I could work on something. This Mawita'mk Society experiences have gotten me happy in ways of needs and wants. In ways but not totally what I need, like sex, a job and driving goals. Being successful means living the life I want with the credentials I want.

I know that I got a good heart I just put it through hell. I know that I don't want to move back to my hometown because of old enemies. I know that I want to be able to build my own garage in that old apartment in 74th street, Horseshoe Drive apartment. I hope that I could get the wood, rent money and be able to pay my bills. I hope that I could become financially independent and thriving in my job. Economically adjusted to the cost of living budget and have my own money saved up. I know that I want to have my own truck but a car would be a smart move.

I know that I want to feel my own vehicle and be able to work and order stuff from friends. I got some friends who aren't dysfunctional. I know that I want to impress them with my accomplishments. I want them to be able to say I'm successful, accomplished and thriving in Eskasoni because of my Red Seal papers, my full driver's license, job, degrees.

I hope that I could get a 8 years job experience with plumbing. But first I want to get my BA degree to see what that is all about. I hope that I could get my full driver's license, physical fitness and enjoy movements again. I used to enjoy movements and lift weights and walk. I got a treadmill and Candice would be getting me on it and enjoying it. Now I got Shauna and Fleur and Fran. I hope that I could make a routine. I remember when I used to roll up a pack of cigarettes. And bringing my own weed.

But now I just got computer, laptop, Playstation 1, 2 and 4. And Xbox 360. I have my own stereo and flat-screen. I want to impress Rosie Basque with building a wooden garage with functional plumbing and wiring. And my own car parked in there as I have accomplished this. I want to put my knowledge to the test.

And build with my cousin Ray and baby brother Sonny. I hate it when my other dad assumes to use stuff I don't want him to use. Situational morality suggests that I go with the flow. But he would take advantage of me and I know he wouldn't pay for a wooden garage in that old apartment on Horseshoe Drive. I want to get my cousins Ray, Elijah and my baby brother to build a small wooden garage. I want to build a life with that 74th street, Horseshoe Drive apartment. Having my training in driving, I know that I have been learning to drive.

Being successful means living the lifestyle of wants and needs. I know that I have to be aware of certain people and I know that I have been living here for twelve years. Successful, accomplished and thriving in Mawita'mk Society. I know that I could satisfy my wants and needs and that is the lifestyle I want. A good driving and working lifestyle.

I think I'm getting sick and hopefully, I can recover and don't have Covid-19. I feel like I've been enrichen with safety, routines and duties of Mawita'mk Society. I could live my life like this but I'm getting depressed and grief is what I'm going through. I know that I want to have sex and I know that I need to work at my fitness. I want to start my morning by brushing my teeth, getting to use the bathroom. Having mouthwash and washing my hands. And having breakfast and cup of coffee.

Being successful, accomplished and thriving isn't just stopping earning. It's a continous earning, learning and growing. Continued growing and earning is learning about stuff. Hopefully everyone that I come across I could become skilled in a lot. I know that I don't get to enjoy my life independently. But I know that I get to enjoy the benefits of Mawita'mk Society.

At Mawita'mk Society I could cover my wants and needs. And I know being successful, accomplished and thriving doesn't mean I have to stop. I just have to figure out my next move. And get my full driver's license and BA degree. 

My psycho-social development is what I'm trying to do. Get a job, save up my money and put it in my savings account. Put my knowledge to the test and try to make a good routine out of work, fitness and reading books. I hope that I could get a job without Rosie's approval. 

I don't know if I have beauty but I know that I have overall maturity, creativity, generativity and legacy. I know that I want to get a woman's opinion on my looks. I know that I don't get to enjoy any confidence. I have beauty to some degree and some charms. 

Back in the day I could've gotten any CD by doing chores and earning my knowledge of plumbing. But my stepfather yelled and tiraded and I was getting beaten by enemies. I might as well live in war because I know that my stepfather forgot me in ways of getting my papers and full driver's license. If I could get my full driver's license and Plumbing papers. I hope that I could get s good job with plumbing. I want to earn a BA degree first before I do get into plumbing. 

If I was out on my own I would be struggling with rent, clothes, groceries and other cost of living expenses. I know that I have to find for myself and live my life thriving at Mawita'mk Society. I feel like I am stuck where I'm at because I don't have any trust or faith in my abilities to take care of myself.