Glad How My Life Has Turned Out

Glad how my life turned out to be because I got way more options and opportunities in We'koqma'q community than I did in Eskasoni. But I don't know my options and opportunities in Eskasoni. But I'm glad that I've had the life I've lived because the way it turned out to be was awesome. Because I have a flatscreen TV with DVD player and a few HMDIs. I know that I could hook up my Playstation 4 and my Playstation 2 with a adapter for Playstation 2 and regular cords of Playstation 4. I always hoped that I could make it at that home in 74th street apartment.

I know at Mawita'mk Society is much safer and secured. I know that I don't have to worry about my things in my bedroom. And I don't have to worry about anyone stealing anything here. I feel rich with life experiences here and I know that I've been here for twelve years reaping the benefits of Mawita’mk Society. I just feel so glad.

Glad how my life has turned out because I have way more stuff and things and credentials hanging in my bedroom. I know that I have good company and people to talk to. I just keep repeating the same old story and I should be talking about the small things and good things in my life. I want the past to change but I know it's not gonna because I know that I just got to remember the good stuff. I know that I haven't been active lately and I want to be productive and getting stuff done. Throughout my life here I've been able to get my ALP diploma and become a Certified Skilled Laborer.

I could have a successful career, an accomplished past and a thriving business and lifestyle in Eskasoni but I know that it would be considered easy target. I have no protection or anything. Social life sucks in Eskasoni and I don't have any friends willing to help me out in romance.

Living without Eskasoni has been something but I know that I will be forever trapped on this island. I would want to go traveling when I do get my second kidney. But I cannot because I need injection every second week. I feel like I don't have any rights to go visiting Vancouver or someplaces I would really enjoy in the provinces. I know that I don't get encouraged to go traveling because of certain paranoia. My real father doesn't trust that some people will bite him in the ass. I think he has done some dishonest work with certain people and have ripped off people. I don't trust him because he is sketchy.

I know that I could trust my other father Billy Morrison to some degree. But I don't trust anyone because everyone had betrayed me in some fashion or way. Not a lot of people have helped out or supported me. I know that they didn't want me thriving without them because they wanted to fuck my future girl.

I know that I don't get to have justice because my uncles won't allow it. I know that they aren't the men I need to trust. But there is a degree of trustworthiness about them through love and care. But they both exercise their twisted sense of control over me by doing stuff with me. I know that my father Vincent is my birth father but he hasn't taught me anything worthwhile. And my stepfather always had a break through with my resentment because he is creative like that.

I know that I would love to go family therapy through Mike MacInnis. I know that he would exercise certain controllability over the situations. No matter how I approach it. He is close-minded and narrow-minded because of Indian Residential School, Government, past experiences with fair-weather friends and probably bad relationships. But I know that I have been through that too. He thinks his suffering is greater.

I know that I don't get to choose my therapist because of certain cultural ageistic reasons. My fathers don't trust me and I have a degree of trust that is flimsy. In my defense I've been seeing Mike MacInnis for years and haven't been able to reach my level of trustworthiness with him. I want to do it with my father. Glad how my life turned out but I want something little more deeper with my fathers. I hope that after this I would be able to build trust with them. And have a functional relationship with them. I love my fathers and I want them to live a long time with all the right vitamins for memory, muscles and physical fitness.

I want them to live a productive lifestyle with me. I want them to inspire me with good active walking, lifting weights and going on treadmill. I hope that I could turn that basement into a little gym for my dad. I have all the papers for a renal diet.

And I have all the exercising equipments and calisthenic knowledge. I could get into fitness and nutrition for a renal patient. And develop a good program for young bucks. I want my dad to start exercising and eating right with me. I know that I don't want to get into unhealthy habits. I hope that I could build a lifestyle of active, productive and thriving quality of life in We'koqma'q and Sipekne'katik. I want all the good influences of We'koqma'q community into Sipekne'katik and my fathers. And build an active schedule of walking or a routine of walking.

I want to be a positive force in my fathers' lives. I want to be a good influence in my fathers' lives. I want to share the fitness and nutrition journey with them. And I want to physically develop and grow into a fit, lean and muscular physical body. I want them to bring the best out of me through fitness and nutrition.

And I want to enjoy their fatherly presence in my life. I know that I don't have to worry about my stepfather but I am worried about my other father, Vincent. I hope that I could get a treadmill at his place. But I don't want to take my exercising equipments there yet because I don't have any kidney function. Plus I would miss my old bedroom at Mawita'mk Society. Instead of moving out of Mawita'mk Society's care I should focus on exercising alone. I mean I did that before and eventually I will get my muscles. I know that I love myself and I'm happy where I'm at.

I hope that I could exercise here in my bedroom and do calisthenics and use my weights. I don't have a bench I want so I have to use Push-ups and lifting weights using butterfly exercises. I know my exercises I could use for my chest. And I know which exercises I could do with my weights. I know that I'll need to work a sweat.

I hope that I could get a good momentum going with my fitness and nutrition. I know that I have to develop a good routine of forms of exercises and get used of doing that in my bedroom. I'll feel alright doing it myself instead of some hack who don't care for me. Nobody wanted me to remember all that and I know that I have a lot of troubles. But I have to move pass that and work towards a healthy lifestyle. With fitness and nutrition I hope that I could get my body fit, muscular and toned.

If I could make the status quo bias on a healthy path in my life. I might be able to practice self-discipline and work routine and build habits into my self-discipline. Self-discipline is a required skill like psycho-motor skills or job-related skills. You'll have to practice them in order to have better habits in your Self-discipline. It's a discipline that is the practice of training people or self.

Its a discipline that is the practice of training people or self into a steady routine and developing habits to improve my life, your life or anyone's life. It uses a reward system and it's based on good habits or work performance. What we do with our days are up to us. No, we don't equate "disgust" with positive propellation and I know that I have been disgusted before with how I used to live. I did not take my health and environment seriously. And I know that I have every reasons to live my life in a healthy way. I mean actions and movements of fitness. 

Accepting myself as a bachelor and a Certified Skilled Tradesman, I feel like I've accomplished enough to live a life somewhere.

But I want to harness my mind into a focused self-discipline where I have that skill. And I have every reasons to stay healthy through fitness.

I know that I want to build routines and habits. I am into a Mawita'mk routine of dialysis appointments, medicine daily, injection every two weeks and meals three times a day. I just got to add a few good habits to my routine like walking on the treadmill and lifting my weights after a good nap after dialysis. I just got to add two new habits into my self-discipline and that is fitness(Using my weights and doing calisthenics) and walking.

Complacency comes with a happy status quo bias. I just got to exercise my skill like self-discipline and develop a good routine. I know that self-discipline is a life skill not taught among my people. How to use this skill is like using your muscles. The more you do the good habit, the more it will get stronger. And than once mastered you will feel it become a light force in you. I know that this life skill could be taught among people.

The more you use life skills set, the more you will have willpower over it if you think of willpower. I know that I'm self-disciplined to use coping skills, job-related life skills and chores. I know that I'm eating well, have a good Mawita'mk routine, have three meals a day with medicines. And have all my stuff in my bedroom to use, read, listen and watch. I know that this particular life skill is difficult to master because I never trusted that well. Sometimes I would be thinking about dark stuff that I wouldn't want to think about. I know that I have a good home because they are excellent support system.

I'm learning that self-discipline is a life skill a lot like financial literacy. You need to understand your bank in order to make good decisions. I hope that I get that financial literacy education and learn much as I can about these life skills. I hope that I could become something of a modern adult.
I was taught about sleep hygiene, bedtime routine and a good bath every night. 

Especially since I did my bedding. I know that I just need to quit caffeine because I quitted smoking. And I know that I need to start fitness and nutrition for a renal patient. I know that I have a good home and have my life in We'koqma'q community. Growing personally here means I'm trying to get out of my comfort zone, my status quo bias and start adding habits to my self-discipline or routine. I wanted to get better in my life and I want to continue with that path.

A path of continually self-improving over the years. Picking up guitar and getting fit, becoming healthier than my current weight. And I want to get my second transplant kidney. Even though I hate it the key is self-discipline. And I know that I have to practice this skill over salty meals. Over drinking habits. And over fitness.

Accepting myself as a bachelor I could attract a lot of sweet girls my way. I am learning about this life skill. I know that I have been coming out of hell and learning life skills like financial literacy, emotional intelligence, emotional literacy, emotional regulation, distress tolerance, Mindfulness and NLP techniques. There is so many ways to get rid of my mental garbage and stop my thinking. I know that I'm learning work/life balance. I am learning emotional attunement and Interpersonal Effectiveness. I haven't learned all these coping skills and financial literacy. I am learning about it.

I know that I was taught a lot of job-related life skills and survival skills that I know that I have a lot of good reasons to look up to my stepfather. I know that I've learned a lot with him and I hope that I could learn plumbing and Pipe Trade. And ask him for financial guidance and ask my Journeymen.

I know that I could live with my uncle Gordon but I know that he has his idiosyncrasies. And I know that I have idiosyncrasies too. I know that it would be a refreshen look with all my things and electronics and clothes. I feel that I could use my stationary bike in my own bedroom. I know which bedroom is the largest and I know that house from inside out.

But my family wouldn't allow me because I don't have any rides to Dialysis Unit in Sydney. And I'm not really on Welfare or have a part-time employment. I have to have some kind of income while I live with uncle Gordon. I don't even know if he would accept me. I don't think so because I know that I don't have the best relationship with him.

But I want that 74th street apartment on Horseshoe Drive. I want to build a garage beside that apartment. And hopefully, make it homey and cozy. I used to live there and I know the conditions. I could get used of going to Sydney. And being on Welfare I could get used of doing stuff while my uncle Chuck, my two cousins Elijah and Ray, and my baby brother build my mini garage. 

I know that Eskasoni inspires me to walk a lot more. And I would try to use that stationary bike of mine in my garage. Put all my exercising equipments and weights in there. And put a washer and dryer in there. I really want to make that 74th street apartment homey and cozy. I want to develop personally there and get in shape there. 

But first I want to be fit, muscular and toned. I want to have the consistency of a self-disciplined warrior's fitness and a body-builder's fitness in a way. I want to enjoy Mawita'mk Society with everything I need to live a rich life. I want my level of fitness to increase. 

I know that I have a good life here and that means that I have to leave on really good terms. Where I've outgrown Mawita'mk Society in ways of driving, career, education and on-the-job training. I know that I want to enjoy some jobs around here. And I want to work for We'koqma'q Band Office as a Red Seal Certified plumber.