Level of Education and Employability

Because I have a level of education and employability I think I might get a job anywhere. I hope that I could get my own car and place. I hope that I could bring my Mawita'mk life skills education. I know and accept my role in my own life. I know that I'm supposed to keep my apartment clean and tidy. But I know that now I could look for a good job. I have a college credential. But I don't think that will secure a job. I know that I don't get a job because of Mawita'mk manager. Still I want a part-time employment and get those Certificates from We'koqma'q Tim Hortons.

I know that Mawita'mk Society wants to make it easy, comfortable and smooth. I could have that but I want to work while I'm on dialysis. I know that I have a good life here. My general doctor gave me up and I'm kind of glad about that. I mean I've lived here for twelve years and reaped the benefits of Mawita’mk Society.

I know that I live Mawita’mk Society because we go out to bowling alleys, pool halls and movie theater. I know that I love Mawita'mk Society because of certain workers. I know that they are fun. I feel that I'm slowly growing personally through my books. Struggles of self-discipline is confidence. And I know that I need to start practicing gratitude with my new book.

But if I could have my second chance with that Rosie Basque's 74th street apartment. I would get my cousins and baby brother to build a better, larger deck. A small garage and a more secure window. I could use the small garage for a washer and dryer kind of thing. Spacemaker Washer and Dryer. And put my exercising equipments in my small garage. Now I have carpentry hours and experience but I still need to study the measuring tape. My uncles and fathers thought I could figure it out without study.

I know that I'm stuck where I'm at because my family wants me to be less of a inconvenience. There isn't any perfect life in this world. Shit happens and I know that I have been learning about coping skills, job-related life skills and work skills. I know that I have been living here for twelve years and living here I've had safety and security. But I'm stuck here with a chronic downer who puts me down when it suits her. Vickie Pierro who loves to keep me down and criticizes me every chance she gets. I know that she cannot take it when I fight back because she loves to keep me down. That's why I don't like her, she doesn't have any filter and in that she doesn't respects me.

I love to be respected and yeah I have manners. But apparently I don't have any respect from Vickie because she loves to see how much she could get away with being rude or cruel.

But I know that Mawita'mk Society is getting better over the years. I feel rich with opportunities and choices now because I got Mawita'mk routine. I know that I have been learning my benefits, opportunities and choices in We'koqma'q community. I know that I'm forgotten and stuck where I'm at. I feel like I've been going for my own car. I hope that I could get my own fitness in We'koqma'q community. I know that Eskasoni inspires me to walk and do stuff. I feel like I am rich with knowledge, cultural teachings and Addiction prevention methods. Also known as coping skills.

I don't want to be stuck here because everything's here monitored, patrolled and managed. I cannot get my way here because they want me controlled, patrolled and managed. I don't hate it here but I do hate that. I feel like I'm a kid and have to obey their paranoia.

I know that some people don't trust me. Like some Mawita'mk workers. I don't have that kind of luxury because I am stuck here. I cannot renew my Beginner's license or keep working on my full driver's license goal. I know that I'm stuck here because I am weak and useless. It seems that I cannot earn my rights because I have to wait on the side lines. Plus they don't double check anything because I know that somebody threw out my pod. I know that I don't get to choose my own life because life here is Mawita'mk Society's way. I know that Shauna doesn't trust me nor does anyone here. They would rather shut me up and if I do, do something I have to say sorry.

I feel that nobody reads my blogs because there isn't any changes in my life. I know that I have my own life but I cannot choose my own life. Yeah I don't hate this place but I wish they start treating me like I'm 36.

I feel like because I'm this age they could practice ageism. It's hard to be fair when everything can be criticized. I know that a critique can be taken as a heavy criticism. But there are a few things from both perspectives. One I cannot find any good reasons to live here if I want my independence and freedom. Two if I do want support I have to give up what was essential, integral and central to me. My raison d'tre I'd to keep working. Doing something with my life.

I know that in First Nation life, in this game of managing losses we are learning about relationships, healthy sexuality, sober productivity and coping skills. I know that I've been managing losses and grief since I was a young boy. I'd lost my innocence and I'm guilty of many things. Drinking, fucking, smoking up, smoking cigarettes and other things,I care not to mention about.

I was a addict on-again and off-again throughout my years in Eskasoni. It's an modus operandi that I feel is a game of managing losses. I know that I have been through home invasions, beatdowns, missed opportunities, losses, traumas, barriers and tragedies. Still I want to wake up and do something with my life. Still I have some kind of broken sense of purpose to keep living. My raison d'etre is to personally grow accustomed to earning my own life on my own. It's independence i want, not stagnancy and dependency. It's an modus operandi for managing all those difficulties and losses.

I know that I have made it this far in my life to personally grow accustomed to fitness and walking. Complacency comes with a status quo bias which in turn makes you happy with what you've accomplished so far. It says that you don't have to do anymore when in fact this life has many careers to do.

Complacency is being happy with what you've done and not pursuing anymore. In this life of pursuits of happiness. I feel that I haven't been properly, thoroughly and rigorously put to the test. I haven't gotten out of my comfort zone and challenge my status quo bias. Well I have but I want to do more with my life. I know that I don't want to be status quo biased happy. I want to continue with my life. Life is continually changing, growing, educating, training and disciplining myself in new habits and routines. I know that I love Mawita'mk Society and I'm grateful to have people to talk to.

I just wish I was on my own living with my second transplant kidney. I hope that I could develop my level of fitness and coping skills, and work on my life. I know that I cannot just be happy with what I got, I have to continually improve and grow. Self-improving is continually learning.

Self-improvements are what I've accomplished already. And self-improving is continually changing, learning and growing into a fit, muscular, holistically healthy and active Certified driver/Certified tradesman who is something of a health-conscious, self-directed and self-motivated. I know that I'm career-minded, community-minded, family-raised and financially motivated worker. That part is from my family.i just got to be health-conscious, self-directed, confident and self-motivated person. I don't need to be a health nut but rather coffee-drinking, tea-drinking and cookie-eating  kind of fitness trainer. I hope that I hope that I could get something like that going.

With my level of education and employability I could get a good job. I know that I got to wait until I get approvals from family and Mawita'mk Society. I'd worked for We'koqma'q One Stop. Maybe again?

There should be a celebration for young tradespeople entering the work force. I know that is what I'll do for my apprentices. Celebrate their entrance into the trades. They don't have to dress up or anything. They just come as they are and I would be grateful for their presence. I hope that I could get something going like that if I become a Journeyman. I know that at the age I hope that I have my 8 years of work experience and have my fitness. I know that I would be working in We'koqma'q community where I could get my start in We'koqma'q community.

I'll try something and I hope that I could inspire the apprentices to come into plumbing trade. I know that I have been living at Mawita'mk Society for twelve years but that doesn't mean I have to give up. Yes, Mawita'mk has been good to me but I want to continually learn, grow, develop, get stronger and better.

They may work here and consider safety as an issue. If that is the case then they have some enemies. I know that nobody here has the right to know who was here because of safety issues. It's about respect for the client, not professional respect. Client's thoughts and actions depends on the mood of the worker. That's how impactful they are with their own powers. But there is a good sense of modus operandi and how it's an good  organization. I know that I'm well taken care of and have a good staff with it.

I know that I want to add certain additions to that 74th street apartment. And impress Rosie Basque with my patio or porch, small garage with Spacemaker Washer and Dryer. And have all my exercising equipments in that small garage. I always hope that I could make that Horseshoe Drive apartment my homey little cozy place. And have educational accomplishments there.

But first I need to make my way here. I need to exercise and do good forms of exercises. I need to get my full driver's license and second transplant kidney. I need to work and build a 10-year work experience in plumbing or doing We'koqma'q Tim Hortons. I need to get something going and that is fitness. I need support in that. I may hate it but I need it. I feel that I haven't been on the grind but I have with Rod's One Stop. I hadn't any real job experience in We'koqma'q community until We'koqma'q One Stop. I want to return to work because nobody is gonna pay my bills.

My sister controlled me financially by having access to my bank. She wanted me to have no sense of financial independence. I felt like she wasn't helping me getting financially stable. She was teaching me to have bills and subscriptions. Yes, I appreciate the fact that she set me up but I have to be financially responsible and independent.

That means I cannot give her any money. She has taken my money because I know that shit happens. I knew that much and that's why I kept my own phone on pay-as-you-go. But she's emotionally ill and I shouldn't be trusting her. Now I have no money and I'm getting these calls from Commercial Credit Adjusters. I don't like that fact because I hate being in debt. I don't like owing people and that is the reason why I brought my own weed. And brought extra money with me to Rob Shipley's. My sister said she would pay it but she gave up. Saying she is emotionally drained.

I know that she didn't want me to live my life. She wanted me to have a debt to my name because she wanted me to feel distressed. I know that shit happens but I am on dialysis and I cannot trust her anymore. She hasn't earned my trust and she lost it. Fine fitting for a renal patient. 

I know when I smoked cigarettes and weed. I was working what I could with family and friends. Being that I had a good life in ways of doing odd jobs, pop bottles recycling, landscaping and other types of jobs that I knew how to do. I knew that I wanted my own place and build a garage, patio and other things on my old apartment on Horseshoe Drive. 

With my level of education and employability I could get a minimum wage job and a good momentum going with a job in Eskasoni. I know that I have been community College educated and educated through First Nation community programs. I feel that I could get a good understanding of the Addiction Counselor job. I know that I have something of a good afternoon now. 

But I could get a good momentum going with We'koqma'q community. Growing accustomed to working part-time and having my dialysis. I know that I could get a good job as a Addiction Counselor. I could grow accustomed to doing that at Theresa Memorial Health Center. 

I could appreciate the job because I had all the experience of being an off-again and on-again addict most of my life. I know that doing certain things could help out. And I know that I've been learning emotional sobriety and emotional literacy through my writings. And readings as I learn DBT and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I know that holding two opposing truths is something. I feel that I've been learning about DBT Skills Training Manual. 

It's a long and big book. I know that I have been learning about Judo maneuvers and DBT Skills Training Manual. I know that I'm learning about Indigenous Business in Canada. And learning about Taoism of Jeet Kune Do. I want to learn how to referee these martial arts. 

I know that I could appreciate the skills because I know that I'd used mindfulness and distress tolerance bsck in my days of being beatdown. I know that I have been through hell and back. And want to fight for vengeance. Being a bachelor and single tradesman. I know that I have a bunch of free time to learn all this. One book at a time or alternate between the books. 

I know that I have been sleepy and tired when I do get off the dialysis and come home. I could remember movies like The Last Starfighter, Coneheads and Motion Picture of He-man and the Masters of the Universe. I know that is generational knowledge and I know that I have that kind of movie experiences. I think of these things while I live at Mawita'mk Society.