The Human Condition/Constructivism

We create spaces of knowledge through privacy, play and shared and personal experiences. We have this way of understanding the world where theoretical and practical can somehow be reconciled. We are on a journey and that is what creates our knowledge. Epistemologically I know this because through experiences of my older brother everyone has their lies, knowledge, cultural/generational understanding and standing. Nobody is special but cattles wanting to improve on their lives. Socially constructed knowledge is social classifications of actions. My biological mother's connections, my Jown family in Eskasoni, Paq'tnkek and other First Nation communities. I have shown sedulity to my stepfather and did my due diligence. I know that I haven't still peaked because I have been selected to be a target. I haven't done any sports or services, I never had any training in Eskasoni. I felt lost.

I never had any side chick and I wasn't down to party. I know that I have been ignored for twelve years and reaping benefits of Mawita’mk Society. I know that I have educational accomplishments and work experiences. I know that I don't have any perfect life because I'm on dialysis. I know that I don't party or drink but I used to drink by myself or with Rob Shipley. I know that I hadn't any woman attracted to me because my male cousins were always saying shit. And I know that I haven't any luck for twelve years. I know that I don't attract any women I would want. Especially since I am alone and used.

I know that I don't have anything attractive in my life. I know for certain women and my male cousins have more sex than me. I know that I'm on dialysis and stuck here because it seems that I am wanted here. But I know that I don't have any respect.

I don't have any attractive qualities or characteristics because I would've gotten any more women than before. My friends have more sex than I do. It seems that I cannot manage my life in accordance with other people's expectations. I know that I have to work extra hard to get fit because of the tiredness of dialysis. Everything that I have is because I've worked for it. And still I want that apartment behind 74th street. I know that I liked to work for myself. And have expenses and budget. I know that I want to develop personally from my collections of books and pdfs, eBooks and magazines, comic books and encyclopedias.

I know that I could simplify what I understand. DBT is accepting temporarily the two opposing sides of the mind. If not then they could practice using mindfulness and distress tolerance in accepting what they need to. I want to teach skills to my child.

I feel like I'm no father and I have to earn my respect. I knew that I needed support but my stepfather didn't want to support me when I did have a child. If I had a child. I hope that I did because I've struggled and got vilified for my own lack of education. I know that I have been trying to get my life together. Professionally skilled through life skills and survival skills. I hope that I could get job skills from my NSCC Construction Trades Labor program. I know that I could screw cabinets and cupboards.

I know that I had small engines and wood craftsmanship. I know engines and learn all the skills of the community. From carpentry like painting, building, dry-walling and framing. To cleanliness and organizing, assembling and plumbing. And having my own pop bottles business and wood-piler. I did a lot of stuff but I had a few mini careers. I know that I have a good life.

I have a level of education and employability that I have educational accomplishments and work experiences. I know that I don't want any guy coming to the house and taking my nieces and nephews under their wing. There could be opportunities for abuses. I know that much because I haven't been properly taught to be safe, only by those who wanted my safety. I know that I want to have a deepen appreciation for my hometown work force. Feeling that I could work hard and have my life motivated by money. I just got to focus.

Nobody wants me to have powers, influences and skills. So I thought but Eskasoni is mixed with good moments. It's my struggles with bullies and enemies. I know that I have to develop personally from physical fitness. And work on my life because I know that I hadn't any relationship. I know that I have been single for twelve years.

Sober and productive since 2010. And had a good life in We'koqma'q community because I have been working. We'koqma'q community gave me a chance and I have been productive in getting my ALP diploma, trade credential and driving credential. I feel like I have a rich knowledge of mental health coping skills, strategies and techniques. It's just twelve years away from dating. And I know that dating professionals at Mawita'mk Society isn't that great. They make good friends but not compatible lovers. They have to face that alone and I know that people that go into this kind of occupation isn't a safe lover.

Now I'm sober, clean and on dialysis. It seems that I cannot work because part-time wouldn't be enough. And working at We'koqma'q Tim Hortons is a stressful job. There is an unfair shift manager there that wouldn't allow time off for medical reasons. I know that people control me.

Yes! They are the safer bet but what's life without a little risk? I know that I want to take the risk of living my life in Eskasoni. I know that I don't have anything going for me here. Apparently I don't have any attractive qualities or characteristics to get the women that I would want to get. And the available women wants to be friends. I know that I'm not that handsome or either I would've had my own place, women and family jij. Circumstances unfortunately came across me and I couldn't really enjoy myself in an apartment.

I know that I cannot emotionally regulate my feeding time for three meals a day. And I cannot balance out my life with fitness and nutrition. I know that I am tired and drained out because of dialysis. I am stuck on dialysis and at Mawita'mk Society because I cannot drive or not allowed to drive. It seems that I cannot get laid, drive or move.

This place is more of a dictatorship in ways of keeping me here and forbidding sex. Feeling celibate and a eunich emotionally, I know that I don't have any attractive qualities or characteristics for a woman to make any moves. We create spaces for choices, options and opportunities. But we cannot stand suffering? Cruelty is watching someone wanting to live life and see it for himself what life could provide.

They say that Mawita'mk Society is a better choice because of stagflation. Stagnancy and economic inflations that is causing mass frustration. I know that Eskasoni is getting more violent and more difficult to live in. I have no reasons to move back home. Especially since I have too many enemies playing tricks, games and bully. Like I said I'm stuck here and the minimum wage isn't going up. And I cannot lose weight because I tried to make this place my Eskasoni home.

The conflicts, the learning, the growing, educating, training, my birth and eventual death. I know all this is human condition is a integral components of life itself. I know that I haven't been innocent. I have been learning bully psychology with a type of relationship psychology. Attack my choices and I attack you. But I trust Mawita'mk Society, just not certain people in my life. I know what it's like to have no support. But this certain individual has friends and wouldn't want me working any angles or anything to meet up with these people.

I've been battling discriminations, stereotypes, addictions, and kidney problems all my life. I know that I'm single and never had any lovers in my life because of disabilities, mistrust, controlling and other methods and measures in my life. I know that I was patrolled and managed because I did not have any independence or smartphone.

I didn't have any job because of work discrimination in Eskasoni. I didn't have any tools or supplies. I definitely didn't have the strengths and powers to create a safe home. So my best move was moving to We'koqma'q community and living here. Building a good life in We'koqma'q community and stuck on dialysis until I can get my fitness. I know that I have my conflicts, my remembered birthday, all the characteristics and key events in my life. I know that I have a good life and in that I just got to enjoy the goodness this home provide.

I know that I've been surrounded by certain people's projected needs in Eskasoni. And I know that I wasn't given that much of choices. My step family wanted hypersexuality to rule my life. And bullying, addictions and discriminations. Everything I've done I've done in name of family. I'd tried to keep my family safe and sound.

I love Mawita'mk Society but I know that I need to work on my physical fitness of my life. That means to exercise and work out with whatever motivation I could muster up. I know that I want to balance out my life with good fitness training and workouts. I hope that I could because I know that I want the best fitness. Accepting myself as a experienced bachelor with a level of education and employability I feel that I could get a good job in Eskasoni. But with the increased violence and bullying, I feel that I don't have any rich opportunities to live a good life in Eskasoni.

I hate the fact that I have to do it but I'm willing to do it. I just have to have the willingness, motivated energy and motivational focus. The human condition that I have is something of an on-again and off-again addict. Do I want to move back because I used to bully? Drink?

I know that I love and to build my muscles to develop personally from physical fitness. I know that I used to have endurance and so many things going for me in Eskasoni. I kind of had a racist telling me how I should get my English finish with TEC diploma. But I know that I had a lot of battles in addictions, discriminations, stereotypes, barriers, losses, traumas and fights. I know that I had my fair shares of disinformation, falsified testimonies and other things that made me paranoid while I was high off of gas.

I used to be ambitious ambivert who had a lot of good memories of Christmas, faith, family love and success. I'd lived like nobody wanted me. I knew that I had to stay clear from certain people. Personal leadership requires self-sacrifice of personal downtime. And I wasn't willing to do it. I had my downtime. Thinking of social stratagems and other ways to go around using my time.

I know that I was motivated to work and to condition my body from a personal physical fitness to a professional physical fitness. I have to work on my current physical fitness. I have to recover from the operations I've endured. And I have to start walking again. I know that I have to develop mentally/intellectually from my mental health coping books. There is so much personal information and physical fitness development in my life at Mawita'mk Society. I know that I got the safety and sobriety, employability and education.

I know that this is the stepping I need to get my life motivated again. Something changed and efforts seem to change at Mawita'mk Society for some reason. It's like I have to work extra harder to start doing stuff. I know that I could have the energy, motivation, direction and workethic to live my life at Mawita'mk Society.

I know that I have to keep moving and walking. I'm sleeping more and I've been here before. I know that I have family and friends in Eskasoni to work for. I feel that I could use my NSCC Construction Trades Labor program skills with family and friends in Eskasoni. I know that I have to make money and learn new skills somehow, someway. I feel that my experience with tools over the years have been good education and training. I know that I have been living at We'koqma'q community for twelve years and wanting to develop personally. Which is information and physical fitness development. A lot of room to grow from.

From Eskasoni to We'koqma'q I find that I have been getting better. Being better than my bullies means that I have to work at my physical fitness and information personal development. Hoping that I could earn a spot on the transplant kidney list.

I want to personally grow in information and physical fitness personal development so well that I have knowledge of my books, eBooks and pdfs. And have a good balanced out lifestyle in a holistic healthy way that I have regular meals with fitness. Accepting myself as a experienced bachelor with a level of education and employability I feel that I could get a good job in Eskasoni. But I know that I have to take progressive baby steps with Mawita'mk Society in order to personally grow. Self-improving is continually learning, personally growing and working on my physical fitness, self-education and lifelong journey of jobs and physical activities.

I know that they care, it's just that they are professionals. They have an obligation to follow strict rules, policies and procedures of Mawita'mk Society. I feel that they care really good. I just don't want any one of them to read into too much of my life.

I don't want to be attached emotionally to petty people. But as I'm learning to emotionally regulate my own life into peace and harmony. I know there is peace and prejudice. I know my own story and not a lot of people don't want to admit that. Prejudice based on pettiness. Where I would be able to build a life outside of Mawita'mk Society's care. I know that I wouldn't have known peace, routine and harmony as I have know it here. My fate is unsure because I cannot settle.

This place is supposed to be Stigma-free and I know every prejudices, discriminations, stereotypes and biases in life. Over the years I have been victimized and I had bullied. I never was independent enough to explain everything in my life. I know that I haven't been able to live without my step uncles' prejudice and favoritism. I wish there was something real, meaningful and true. 

Through play, shared experiences and the quality of an environment. I know that I don't want to die here because I want to live for a long time. I realize the workload and how discipline I have to be with routine to live my life in Eskasoni to live healthy and holistic. Besides Eskasoni is way too dangerous for a disabled employee to be living there. I just got lucky with everything that has came across my path. I don't care how well manage they do me, I know that my goal to get my fitness is real. 

I need Mawita'mk Society to care for me because I cannot because I've done it for 7-8 years in my early twenties. And I did not get my coffee and cigarettes. I quit one of those and that was cigarettes. I know that I love Mawita'mk Society and I want to work with them. I feel rich with those people in my life.