A Rocker Chick/Poetess

I want a rocker chick and a poetess. Hopefully I can simply live my life with a rocker chick. I don't know what she has to bring to the table but I know that I am ideally simple. I know that everything at Mawita'mk Society is organized and cleaned almost every day. I know that with the level of standards of quality of the clean and organization. I could practice that in Eskasoni if I want. Yeah Darren said I have weaknesses and need support. But I always try to match the standards of Mawita'mk Society's care and support. And outgrow them through my own desires to get out of here. I know that I could master my life but I know that I need my own place.

Nobody's giving me a place because of Mawita'mk Society. Feeling like I'm trapped because family don't approve of me living by myself. I know that here I don't have to worry about three meals a day.

But do worry about my independence and wanting to get my own place in Eskasoni. Not those Mawita'mk Supported Apartments. I know that I want that kind of independent choices where I am free to choose what I want and how I want it. Having knowing that I was experienced Indigenous descendant bachelor I know that I want my own place I'm Eskasoni. It seems like I have to protect my own stuff because I am vulnerable. It's a lot riskier for me because of the workload on my plate now. I have to take care of myself in ways of injection, getting my prescriptions, protecting my stuff, prescriptions and food. I have to live by myself instead of having a woman by my side helping out.

I know now I'm rich with electronics, technology and tools. But in Eskasoni I would be broke in seconds. Socially they scheme off of me and expect me to live with that. The bad eggs' power play are in my memories.

I know that I'm homesick and want to move back home. But I think it's motivated by grief and anger. I know that I have to deal with my own emotional baggage by myself. Originally from Eskasoni I know that hone remedied the feelings of homesickness. I know that I want to have my old apartment back because I want to add stuff to it. Like my stuff, pictures and credentials, TV and radio. I want to make a homey little apartment. A happy and homey little cozily apartment. I hope that I could walk again and have my own dating experience in Eskasoni. Eskasoni is a place of spiritual support, strengths and powers of home. Eskasoni is a sociable schemer and a good rip-off artist.

I haven't really learned anything from certain people. Personal leadership requires that I go back because I have all this richness to work off of. We'koqma'q and Mawita'mk has enrichen my life. And I thank them for it.

We'koqma'q, Port Hawkesbury and Mawita'mk Society have enrichen my life with earned credentials, electronics and technology, picture frames and credential frames. Life experiences and life skills, strategies of cleaning up and having driving experience and goals. They've saved my life while Eskasoni couldn't do nothing about my malnourishment. Mawita'mk Society has been motivating and supporting me since I got here. I needed that kick in the ass and now I am hoping to reach a target of body muscles.

I like rock and roll and heavy metal. It excites me and helps me fantasize in a good way. I know that I have been living at Mawita'mk Society for thirteen years. Feeling like I value, love and appreciate them in ways where I got recovery in mind. I know that I want to impress them because I have lived with them through this group home.

Sometimes it helps me imagine my answers and questions. I know that I want to live my life without being a piece of meat. Feeling like I'll be waiting for a good while. While I do something worthwhile like move back to my old place. I know that Mawita'mk Society is trying to make me worry about going back. I know that I want to live my life in peace in Eskasoni. They've changed my thinking a little but I could get it back. I know that I want to build a good life in Eskasoni because I have all this richness to work off of. I could live ideally without sex or a woman. I have the simple life and I know that I'm a free agent. Meaning that I don't have to worry about a woman.

Darren can be whatever worker he wants. I know that I don't want to be under anyone's influence because I know that the good ones are gone. And I know that I don't have any good influences until they expose me.

I cannot have anything confidential because I am that kind of loser. Well I could always bully back and torment them. I know that I got to train hard and become muscular. I hope that I could conditioned my body to that level of fitness. I know that I want to be muscular where I could show muscles. I'm still young and I'm 37 years old. I still got a few good years ahead of me. I hope that I could use them wisely. Maybe a woman could motivate me? I know that I have to get somebody. I am valued, loved and appreciated where I have studied my hell and see that this is heaven. It's where people give up on living. Or need extra support because of disabilities, medicine and fitness.

Accepting that I'm a happy experienced Indigenous descendant bachelor who has a level of education and employability, electronics and technology, TV and stereo, books and ebooks.

I know that I'm valued, loved and appreciated where I could continue with walking and fitness. I cannot wait to get back to living independently. I have to use the life skills and habit-building skills and do the routines that Mawita'mk Society has taught me. Feeling unattractive and feeling like I am enrichen. I know that this will pass because I've been in similar situations. Disempowerment isn't what I want, misapprehensions isn't what I want. I want to be clear that I want the standards, quality and heart of Mawita'mk Society, which is Shauna and a few others, and I want to incorporate all that life experience into life skills, habit-building skills and routines at my old apartment.

Psycho-sexuality can be confusing. People these days think that they figured you out but don't want me to figure myself out. How to explore and examine my memories, how to think for myself and learn what I want in life.

I know that some people are looking out for me like Rosie and others. I know that I've been taught how to do what I need to do, to get the girl. It was a flash and I couldn't really enjoy my sex. Feeling like I was cheated out of my youthful truths and facts of my life. I know that I want to live my life examined thoroughly and well understood. My stepuncles wanted teen sex and I know that they got it without me. Feeling unattractive and used I know that I've been listening to good music with my real uncles. I know that I don't need to examine my life any further because I have nothing but anger, sadness and grief.

I know that certain toxic people in my life wants me to examine my life thoroughly. I know that the struggles are real and I value the lessons from them. Knowing that I was cheated out of thinking the right way about truths and facts about my life.

I know that people cares, values and loves me and appreciates me in every way. The significance of having a cultural hometown is that I have tons of influences over the years. I got a community to draw experiences from. A cultural and traditional one at that. Being an experienced Indigenous descendant bachelor I know that I shouldn't quit sex. I know that I should be explorative, experimental and open-minded intellectually. There is more go say about my culture and traditions. This world have so much to offer and their overture is something that I will receive in thinking.

I know that I could have my life back in Eskasoni but less safer. I know that I miss my hometown apartment that Rosie Basque has. Feeling like I've been enriched with Mawita'mk Society, Nova Scotia Community College, Unama'ki Driving School and We'koqma'q community. Safety and security is my biggest issue when it comes to home.

I know that I used to live simple and free. I always had money and I know that I had a good life. Now I need WiFi in my old hometown apartment because I have technology and tools. I have a smartphone and learning apps. I know that I could get Eskasoni Communication bundle through Eskasoni Welfare. I need to make it a financial need base kind of thing. I know that I could apply for WiFi and see what are my options through Eskasoni Communication company. If I was to move back home and live the rest of my life there. Being home doesn't necessarily mean I am home. I want my home in my hometown community.

Maybe I could get a chick, maybe I cannot. I know that I get rejected and I have to live with that. I have no alternative girlfriend because I know that I never had a girlfriend. I had sex partners and one gay Rapist. But no girlfriend. 

It's a powerplays that I could identify. I know that everyone has their control tactics, patrol strategies and power plays. I know that I don't get certain truths in my life. And I know that everyone has their prejudicial pettiness and hate. I know that they don't want me to have any intellectual authority. People in position of power should have more respect for privacy and simplicity. Knowing that people don't want to tell truths. I know that I don't want to listen to their bullshit. 

There is resiliency, recovery and strengths and power of Eskasoni as a home. The powers that Eskasoni had over my soul(even though some Eskasoni members(bad eggs) have hurt me) have is to help me recover my liveliness, vibrancy, energy, motivation, direction and workethic. Eskasoni is something that I have as a good life kind of survival story. I wanted to make changes in that apartment and make that 74th street apartment my greatest triumphant recovery story.