What's An Enemy These Days

Eskasoni is highly politicized and divided. And there is a lot of violence and discriminations based on many grounds. In this toxic, indiscriminate world of addictions and discriminations I have to be responsible. I knew that a real employment would have fringe benefits. But there isn't any real employment. I know that I'm still learning and growing personally accustomed to living at Mawita'mk Society. That's because there is so much to do at Mawita'mk Society I'm constantly eating, walking and working, reading, writing and playing music or video games. My options are endless.

But if I do move I run the risk of thefts, traumas, malnourishment, lack of routine, larcenies, home invasions, addicts and bad environment. I know that I've experienced traumas because I've been through hell and build resilience and made my hell. But Mawita'mk Society.

They have been helping out with everything. Waking me up and getting me ready. But I know if I was on my own I would be waking myself up and build a good routine myself. I know it's possible but I also know that people in Eskasoni would be borrowing everything from me and stealing, that nothing would be safe. People in Eskasoni don't know how to leave well alone things and properties and items. That's why they don't have a bank in Eskasoni. A few banks at that like RBC Royal Bank. I know that I love my hometown but they don't respect me or love me. If so it would've been safe and peaceful and productive.

I know that if I was respected, loved, valued, appreciated, blessed, and strong. I would've been safe, working, accepted, secured, productive and active. I would've had my hometown Daily Routines at gym, home, work and in the cultural community.

Instead of worrying about the cruelest things they would've done. I know that I would've had my level of education, house or apartment, full driver's license, full-time employment and life experiences at Eskasoni. Eskasoni would've been paradisiacal, idyllic and ideal hometown for me. My memories would've been better with video games, cooking, building, exercising and other activities I would've done after school. But my asshole of a stepfather didn't want me to enjoy my life. 

Mostly I'd lived in boredom and loneliness when I wasnt doing much in my life but reminiscing about what ive been through. I know that my stepfather didn't want me to have an after school job in Eskasoni. Not a job, car, sports or martial arts.

I know that he held me back because I couldn't do much. Or wouldn't allow me to do anything. Feeling like I was imprisoned by my step-parents. I had to break out and drink. Didn't do anything crazy.

But I enjoyed a good social drinking and smoking cigarettes and smoking up. I was in paradise when I was drinking occasionally. I had my responsibilities and simple life. But I was mostly sober getting bottles and cans. I was helped out by Chief because he was getting me to enjoy his leadership. I know that I had to move and get my level of education and employability because I knew that I was trapped in a large community of Mi'kmaq people who don't want to heal, recover, recuperate and move on. I know that I've lost many opportunities in my lifetime. I am needing a good memory pill. My sister Billie Jean keeps getting shit on by both of us. Me and Katt. Me? I forget what happens and I need a refresher course.

I know that I want to thrive personally, socially thrive and socioeconomically thrive. I know that I don't want to be stuck where I am at. I want to keep doing things.

Which I am because I've walked, worked and relaxed. But Mawita'mk Society has been there since my time I was malnourished and sicken mentally. They've built routine in my life, they've fed me and allowed me to be independent. At Mawita'mk Society I get to do much things here. Get to go family and have outings or takeouts. I get to relax and listen to music when all my walkings are done. And I get to use their WiFi capabilities without discriminations or prejudice. I have an online banking and online accounts. I know that I have a rich life and I want to keep living because I know more things are coming Mt way.

I know that if I do work on my fitness I could lose a few pounds and get on my second transplant kidney list. Earning my way to a second transplant kidney is something I want to accomplished, earned and achieved. Hopefully I can earn my muscles.

I know that I love and value Mawita'mk Society because I know that this chapter in my life has been a good practiced and disciplined routine where I could reach my goals. I know that if I'm coping it's a bad deal. 

Eskasoni is my hometown and I know that I want the best for everyone there. I know that I'm that kind of a family guy who has suffered, got vengeance to some extent and had a good deal of money. I know that people wanted money and stole money out of me. I know that Eskasoni never did this before until the rise of fenatyl users and opioid users. I knew that it was a good move to a safer home where all my good treatments are at. A cozy home where I have a good deal of safety and security.

I know that I don't want to deal with the intersubjective science and confidence booster of the interrelated subject called general sluttiness.

I know that I've broken a few hearts and forgot that I was in a few good relationships. The quality of those relationships depended on knowledge and intersubjective science of relationship psychology. What relationships drives the essence to cheat and lie. Dr. John Gottman's works and insights and contents have been my study for some time now. I know that I have a lot of pdfs, books, eBooks and audiobooks on the subject of relationship. And learning all these psychological works and insights of doctors that want to help out. How certain relationships can define us if we accept that kind of friendships, relationships and family.

I know that I've been through hell and build my heaven upwards. I know that I do enjoy reading, writing, walking, playing video games and listening. By simply and regularly reading subjects and philosophy on certain things I want.

I know that I want to be professionally active with a few jobs in my schedule. And have the weekend to see my family every three weeks. I know that I love and value Clyde as a good friend. It's just those kinds of bad days that rub me the wrong way. I want to be able to say that Mawita'mk Society has integrated back into my hometown's economy. I want to return to my hometown with Mawita'mk Society's influences, my family and extra graduations and jobs. I want to be this kid who has a lot of good life experiences, job experience and driving experience while I live at Mawita'mk Society.

I want to be able to say that I'd learned routine, discipline, practice and good habits from Mawita'mk Society, family and friends. I want to say that I'd learned all this while I lived in We'koqma'q community. Growing personally accustomed to living the good life and having earning my reading experiences.

I know that I'm supposed to be the big brother. I should be leading the examples of what job-related life skills can do in my hometown. Feeling like I've wasted my years but I haven't kind of. I know that I have been doing a lot in my time in Eskasoni before my uncle Chuck got a hold of me. With him I felt I'd wasted many years with him and I did nothing in recycling, schooling, after school activities and building and learning. I know that I've wasted many years trying please a guy that don't want me doing anything legitimate. Feeling like I couldn't use my job-related life skills in my home, at family's homes and at job site.

But that's the thing, when Chief Leroy helped me out it was at the edge of my insanity. Or Mental health decline. And I know that he was throwing all these opportunities my way. I know the missed opportunities in my life. And I know that cleaning skills.

Feeling like I've been taught these things and I did good when I wasn't mentally sick. Everyone rushing me because they thought I had a smartphone and financial online accounts like banking and Amazon. I know that I could've made my own home but all everyone did was barked orders and got me into a stress-related states. Everyone was stressing me out and I couldn't really enjoy myself in my own home because they thought I should pay for WiFi. I wasn't able to save any money because I couldn't keep a safe bank account in any Cape Breton bank. Or nobody couldn't leave well enough alone my things, money and everything.

In Eskasoni I wasn't safe and everyone was an addict. I was pickpocketed, I was beaten and battered, I was starving and malnourished, I did not have a safe home. Everyone came in and I couldn't get everyone to leave well enough alone.

Eskasoni ripped me off, made my life harder because they wanted me to have a smartphone. Everyone had their generational knowledge-base tricks of the trade. And they wouldn't leave me alone because everyone wanted my things. Me? I am a simple creature and I don't want any woman like Ronalda Denny saying that I owe her money when I'm not even married to her. All these kinds of women want powers(financially speaking) over my life because they always want me to enjoy the pussy. I know that sex isn't any indicator of a relationship. There is more to a good relationship than general sluttiness.

A relationship takes work. And I know that everyone wants me to spend my money according to their values and beliefs. It seems I cannot enjoy my money or dating when they think that I have to take up the mantle of being a father.

Every woman tried to trapped me into poor treatments and quality of relationship. I know that there isn't any re-evaluation strategies and tips for men for being independent. I get reminded that I have no responsibility to these kinda of ladies because they choose to bear a child into this world. I'd didn't want a child in the first place with these ladies. I know that I'm studying about relationship paradigms and learning how they work. When I wanted a relationship there was nobody. And when I did wanted my own general sluttiness, everyone woman wanted me to be a father, a boyfriend or husband. Some kind of partner that was paying for his half.

I know that friends didn't want to help out. And I know that my step family didn't want to help out. I know that they'd missed the biggest part of my life. And I know that the Morrison are cheaps or they cheat me out of my true value.

What's an enemy these days? Someone with similar interests and attitude towards control methods, power tactics, influential strategies, patrol techniques and management skills as my abusers. They could learn and understand because they ain't exposed. I know that I don't have any powers or respect for my intellectual authority. I know that my abusers needs to confess and talk these things out. I know that these days enemies and abusers learn all these things. Which I cannot really control because my stepfather wants me to socialize and work on being more open when my enemies and abusers are bullies in my life.

I know that I've been learning how my step family(The Morrison) would question me with certain questions to find out what kind of influences or other things certain people uses to get me thinking that this step family is bad news. Dodo and Chuck have a reputation of being pedophiles.

What does an enemy looks like? Similar semblance of family values and beliefs are what the current powerstruggles I am in. I don't want to be but this family has granted me peace, harmony and thriving to a degree. I know that images are what I have to deal with. I'm told not to trust anyone of the Morrison family like Dodo and Chuck. I was introduced to people that have ruined my life by hypersexual thoughts and feelings. They want to ruin their lives with hypersexuality(which is being indiscriminate and toxic sex addict). I know that they want me to learn certain views because they want me haunted by certain things.

I just have to learn my best quality of relationships in friendships, partners and family. I know that I've been learning and studying, figuring this shit out only takes memories and thoughts. And studying the latest books on the subject. 

The reasons why I want to learn life skills education is because I want to get back out there and start living my life. I want to become independent which is common life skills that I have to get into good habits. I want to thrive holistically, economically and educationally and earn my own car. I know that money can tear family apart and I know that I don't need that in my life. 

What's an enemy these days? A friend? A family member? Clergyman? A policeman?  I know that I have been living here for thirteen years and accomplished a lot while I'd stayed here. I know that people want to ruin each other because they are toxic, wasteful and hateful. With hidden motives and overt racism I think there is more hatefulness coming out. A businessman thrives on whatever reflection a community has. His objectives is the cold hard cash. Not to make friends. 

I want to prove there is love and forgiveness. That there is acceptance and mindfulness. I know that I care but ta what degree, caliber, extent, range and depth? What quality do I have to get care back into my hometown's essence? The community spirit had spirit when my biological mother was alive. I know that since I'd moved I'm happier in terms of my level of education and employability.