Worth in Terms

My sister sold me out. I don't like it that she wants me to be exposed with my codes. But I know that I could change my access codes. I know that my worth in terms of sports isn't that much. I know that my worth in terms of early graduation from grade 12 isn't that much. But I love my sisters all the same. I love and I am proud of how far all my siblings came. They've gotten their graduation I think and I know that I love them even I'd they didn't. My Brothers Mark and Sonny graduated in 2013 and 2012. And my sisters Katt and Billie Jean graduated in 2013 and 2009.

I am happy and proud that me and my family have reached this far in our lives. I know that my family hasn't graduated from trade school but that's alright. They could take their sweet time in getting their degree or diploma. I know that it could be a Certificate too. As long as it's a credential I would be happy.

I know that I love my siblings and I value them for their inputs. Feeling proud, happy, thriving and accomplished. I know that I just have to focus on my weight. Knowing that I am loved and valued by Mawita'mk Society and family. I hope that I could recover from mental illness. They, too have a level of education, erudition and employability to their names. And employability is having the quality of being suitable for paid work. It's having a set of achievements, skills, understandings, qualitifications and personal attributes for paid work or jobs. And understanding the nature of work; roles, responsibilities and obligations.

Employability skills, transferable skills and job skills. These are what I'd learned with Ron Kehoe, Adult Learning Program, Adult Essential Skills Enhancement program, Nova Scotia Skills Record and experience. Like professional fitness through efficiency.
Well professional fitness through efficiency, work performance and time-management. I know personal excellence isn't what I pride myself because of addicts. I am a Virgo and I like to keep an organized, neat, clean and tidy place where I don't have to scramble for my things. They are put where I'd put them. But I am disabled and I have to consider that I don't have that kind of personal pride anymore. 

That old workethic where I would wake up and enjoy my time in showers. I want a career in trade because it would mean that I am employable, my transferable skills would be my communication, punctuality, time-management, efficiency, teamwork attributes, qualities of work performance and a good, strong workethic, dedication and loyal patronage to my job.

Employability skills are the essential skills, personal attributes and values that would allow me to work in any workplace.

Transferable skills(Employability skills) are essential skills, personal attributes, values and beliefs that would allow me to thrive in the workplace. Job-related life skills have transferable skills and employability skills that would distinguish professional service from punk efforts. I call them job-related life skills because Cleaning Service has similar skills. 

Learning life skills is learning how do to do a job that your parents give you. The type of building, landscaping, mechanics, repair works and electrical and plumbing jobs that I was taught by other individuals instead of my stepfather. I know that is a good teaching and lessons. A life skill is a skill that is necessary or desirable for full participation of life.

That means no matter what. You'll always have to provide skills, Certificates, safety tickets, credentials and licenses to work in the field. But before you get that far you'll have to learn life skills.

Me? My highest level of education is NSCC Construction Trades Labor program and I have formal and professional training from Ron Kehoe who was an excellent support and instructor. I know that he rubbed people the wrong way but I needed the professional world in my life. I needed a taste of the professional training I got from NSCC Construction Trades Labor program. I am an Skilled Certified Laborer and I could work in any field if I'd so chosen. But it doesn't hurt to get that Oilfield and Construction Skilled Laborer Certificate program from Maritime Environmental Training Institute. I know it would be additional to my collection of credentials. But I am talking about my future, when I do get my second transplant kidney.

I know that because of my insanity I cannot drive myself anywhere. Or purchase a car. And I cannot get a job without Mawita'mk Society's approval.

Yeah Mawita'mk Society has been something integral in my life where the central theme is saving my ass. I don't know if I am going to recover from this mental illness. But I've been in routine for thirteen years and I do know that I've accomplished my last graduation in Naloxone Medication Administration Training. 

That's medical skills for opioid users. I know that I could get something out of Nova Scotia Firefighter School, Nova Scotia Graduated Driver's Licensing Program and ISSA-CANADA Cleaning Management Institute. There is so much to live for and work on. And METI or Maritime Environmental Training Institute's Safety Certified Laborer. I want all this training because I want to build careers around these professions.

I want to build a professional schedule and have a reputation of having a strong workethic. These are my reasons for living.
Working for my homeland Unama'ki and working with a good crew and departments. 

Hopefully I can live my life where I have my past accomplishments hanging on my wall in my hometown. Get my full driver's license and job. And get a good financial understanding of my own car. I know that I've been learning about ownerships, registrations and licenses. It takes a lot to put a truck or car on the road. 

I know that I need to work on getting a type of car portfolio. I know that I have to keep my glove box lock and my trunk.

I know that I want to accomplish a lot in my time. I know that I don't want to deal with a lot of nay-sayers. And hopefully I can get a car in my future. And hopefully it's not about my paranoid schizophrenia. I know that people want to humiliate me and work within the bounds of their realm in ableism. There are so many programs I want to graduate from.

Feeling proud with the level of training and formal educational experiences I got from We'koqma'q, Port Hawkesbury and Wagmatcook. I know that First Nation communities have been a big part of my life. And in that I have a bunch of good reasons to live in that Mawita'mk Apartment D. Feeling like I got plenty here and summer is coming up. So I'll be exercising this summer at Johnny's Gym. Hopefully I can get a good rhythm and flow going. I have all the exercising equipments I need for a full body workouts. I just need to put them in a safe space. And start using them.

I know that I got to think in a certain way because that's how I thought for years. Psychologically conditioned to think in certain ways. My step uncle made me lost because he wanted to hide. He has used everything in my arsenal to cope with reality. And made me lost.

My worth in terms of being independent isn't that great. I have allowed such people to convince me for a particular reason to stay here. Yes, I need Mawita'mk Society in my life for now. Hopefully I can recover and recuperate from all this. I want to add fitness skills in my life and use them to build muscular physical fitness. Hopefully I can gather up whatever I need to work on my body. I don't want to stay here forever. I want to go out on dates and live my life where I could pay for my Eskasoni Communication bundle. And my car.

Hopefully I can understand financial literacy of a car and my bank. I haven't explored my options that much. And hopefully I can drive on out of that Apartment D and into my hometown's apartment. Relaxed and quiet with my own stuff. I know that I want to have my own place. I cannot wait to recover from this paranoid schizophrenia.

I am happy, satisfied and proud of what I've accomplished. I know that there is more to accomplish. Hopefully I can put credentials on my wall or in my portfolio. I have enough credentials hanging on my wall. I just need to start putting paper protector sleeves and put a portfolio together. There are types of portfolio I could work on. I know that I have to work on ton on project poetry. I have poem books needing attention and I have a good deal of handwritten poems to type up. 

Generational ontological causes and mysteries have gotten me into this little stuck Generational curses. I know that I had secrets of my past. And my step uncle don't want to admit that because he has no power over me.

He doesn't want to find out who abused me. It would mean he is responsible for my abusers. That what it would mean if I am abused. I know that now I'm living without his grip. He has told my stepfather.

I know that I love this lifestyle or quality of life I got. I know that I am happy and proud. I have this satisfaction where I could live a rich life and work on my fitness. Today I've been cruising because it was raining and it's a good day still. I had chicken dinner and I know that I get free rides, free clothes, and free food here. 

I am glad that I've made it this far in my life and build resilience and made a rich bedroom. It's my home for now. And I'm here for a very good reason. I have paranoid schizophrenia and trying to recover from it. I hope that I could earn my muscular physical fitness and condition my body into a lean and strong person.

I know that I got job satisfaction, perks of the job, a good support system and a good deal of understanding from workers and this community. But I want that for my hometown because it's not paradise for me. I know that I need to stay here for now.

I know that it's the little things that make a home. A good happy home is secured and safe for my nephews and nieces. And safe and secured for me. I have a bunch of good reasons to live here because Mawita'mk Society gives security and safety. I know that I don't have that kind of security and safety in Eskasoni because I am a single guy. Hopefully I can make a good life in Eskasoni if I do move. Hopefully I can make a happy home. Now I have online accounts and online banking. Now I have a level of education, erudition and employability to use when I do get my second transplant kidney. That's when I do get my physical fitness.

Hopefully I can reach a level of independence where I have my full driver's license, full-time employment at We'koqma'q One Stop or We'koqma'q Tim Hortons. And I hope that I could learn much from Mawita'mk Work Program. Apparently I could learn cooking.

My worth in terms of independence is growing while I live here. My worth in terms of level of education, erudition and employability is growing with every job, graduations and skills I show. My worth in terms of family is questionable. I don't think that my step uncle was responsible and accountable all those years because he has lived through me. And wasted my years in trying to hide. Yeah he told my stepfather that my biological mother cheated with him. And took all the glory. 

I know that I wanted to drink at a bar and have a sober driver. Feeling like I've been learning how social safety drinking behaviors work. I know that I don't have any invitations to a good bar. I'd never experienced a good bar and I never experienced another person's birthday party at a friend's house. But now I feel enriched and I don't want to spoil my position here. 

My worth in terms being a good father isn't what I wanted because circumstances happened. And I know that I'm not rich and have no marriage or marital status. I know that I want to live my life long enough to see my child. And work many years and earn a good professional reputation over the years. I know that I have a level of education, erudition and employability to use in University, College and Schools. And for work too. I had no knowledge or smartphone to use in my twenties.

I know that I never had any communication devices or had a rich life in Eskasoni. I had a simplified life but not a rich life. In my twenties I had to walk to Sydney in order to get stuff. I took care of my things and I knew that I still had those bulky TV back in my twenties. I had to register my kid but she didn't want to. I know that I couldn't control anything so I let them suffer. 

My worth in terms of being dateable? I am a liability if I was to become a long-term partner. I have too many disabilities and I don't pick up the slack on my own. It's like my sense of efforts and mental capacity is gone. I don't have any attractive desirability or attractive qualities or characteristics or traits or muscles or height. But I have a level of education,erudition and employability to use when I do get a second transplant kidney.