Temporary Home

I know that Mawita'mk Society was supposed to be a temporary place. I'm something of a polymath, polyhistor, philomath and polyglot. I know that I want my thoughts deep into psychology and be a philomathic, polymathic, polyhistoric kind of polyglot into the history of psychological history. I know that I need to get serious about studying my books and online stuff. I got my English vocabulary through an old dictionary. Mawita'mk Society was supposed to be a temporary home but it transformed my view on Mawita'mk Society. I know that I have to build my walking legs up and build my chest muscles, my arm muscles and shoulders muscles up.

I know that I was supposed to be here until I get everything I need for independent life. Ever since I came here I was measurably controlled, managed and monitored in every way. I know that my sense of independence and survival wasn't depended on Mawita'mk.

I don't have any women wanting me because everyone wants to discriminate against me. I don't have the physical fitness health and martial or boxing or military training to make my home a defended happy home in Eskasoni. Feeling like I've never reveled in a victory or accomplishment on my own. I know that family don't want me deadly or my enemies. They assume that I don't have any rights or beliefs or values. I know that family values and beliefs have been questionable at best. Who really wants me to fail as a human being? Who really wants me to be targeted? Cowards of the lost sad ones wants you to stay where you are, have listened and enjoy the step family as your blood. And have recreants abuse you, not sentimental cowards.

I wanted my independence because I sant choices, not regulated options. It seems almost robotic to choose these days.

Like I'm institutionalized. I know that I get to enjoy the benefits, perks and supports of Mawita'mk Society with the exception of my Band Status. I know that I get Eskasoni band status and that comes with benefits, perks and supports of Chief and Council, of Eskasoni Band and Band Office. Eskasoni Welfare and Eskasoni Christmas bonus. I get Educational/Financial Support, first picks of jobs in Eskasoni since I have a level of education and employability. Accountant's help with GST and a good sensible apartment picks. I know that I was insane temporarily and I had to look pass the generational curses, addictions and traumas to come here.

For years I've struggled with addictions in Eskasoni. I had the tools and some coping skills. Now? I have a whole library of coping skills, business knowledge and scientific works from Doctors. I was made into a laughable joke when I was serious.

It seems I cannot get my way because I did not have my own mature, serious, sensible and responsible way of doing things for myself. Enormity is just addictional downward spiral into financial poverty, less economic resources and extra responsibility on my shoulders. People would take my money and steal and lie about it because they were cowards. They didn't want to learn anything. I know that if I had my car I would be taking opportunities like crazy. I would be working and going to these colleges, academies, schools and universities. Now that I have this benefit of rides I hope that I could walk more in NSCC School of Trades and work my way up through apprenticeship and get my Red Seal papers.

But I had some good friends in Eskasoni. I've been in Eskasoni when Chief was on rise out of debt. And opioid addiction and thieving was on the rise.

Mawita'mk Society was supposed to be a temporary home because I was supposed to simply do my goals: which was, 1. Get my education, 2. Get my fitness, 3. Get my second transplant kidney, 4. Get my full driver's license, 4. Get my BA degree, 5. Get my Carpentry and Cooking papers through school and Apprenticeships, and 6. Get my apartment. I want to live financially independent, and have a personal independent life, where I could pay for my things and not be forced to share or give. I know that people are schemers in Eskasoni and not hard workers. I know that I have been wanting to live by myself without having to deal with bullies, fiends, addicts and schemers.

I know that I hadn't the grades I needed to do what I wanted to do in Cape Breton University. I know that I wasn't given any chances in adult high school.

I know that I've been enrichen in We'koqma'q community where I could live my life in Eskasoni or anywhere in Nova Scotia. I'd learnt about types of laborers, helpers and skilled Tradesmen. I know that I want that personal physical fitness health where I could be professionally effective, efficient and reliable. I want to show my workethic, consistency and energy in my jobs I do. That is Construction, processing and driving. I am a Certified Skilled Trades Laborer and I want to get a list of credentials hanging in my bedroom. I want to go exploring in Nova Scotia the workforce I could get Certified, trained and educated on.

I want to test my studying methods and studying skills in doing the school work for Professional Certifications in processing, cleaning, construction, food and Communication industries. I know that I could get my full driver's license.

Get my full driver's license and move anywhere I want. I know that people don't want me to have a positive solutions for everything. People get tired of certain things with me and I know that I want to drive myself out of here. I want to buy my own truck and drive out with a trailer. My stepfather don't want me to have confidence in living a financially independent and economically thriving life where I am personally motivated for any personal independence in my life. 

There is a housing crisis, Canada-wide racism problems that are way too complex. And a good deal of women's issues that haven't been addressed or women's boundary issues.

I know that in Canada I've been learning about American women and how they have issues there. With my life I've been learning about employability and training. Regular full-time employment is how I want to live my life.

With a good employment contracts with a few companies. I know that I want to live my life financially independent, wisdom of self interests and self discipline, a good list of NSCC, Cape Breton University and police academy, and other schools(ISSA-CANADA Cleaning Management Institute) credentials hanging in my bedroom wall. I've made a good life here, I might as well keep making it better by walking, doing fitness and conditioning.

I know that I could have three different jobs in We'koqma'q community. Feeling proud that I've gotten my credentials. Happy actually but sadden that I'm not doing anything with it. I want my personal physical fitness health to live this life where I could be effective, efficient and reliable to anyone. I know that I want to have a good healthy lifestyle with Mawita'mk Society. I want to cooperate with Mawita'mk Society.

They've shared their resources, benefits, perks and supports with me. With this Mawita'mk lifestyle I could get three Apprenticeships done, get my BA degree for that kind of field work, have ISSA-CANADA Cleaning Management Institute credentials and NSCC courses. That'll be reasonable within my life. I could get something going with ISSA-CANADA Cleaning Management Institute and have it Indigenized. I know that I've been learning about other people, the world's addictions and clinical/Scientific/Psychological research and works in books. I know that I want to gift people with Christmas presents and birthday presents.

I want to have memberships into Playstation Plus, Macfree security and other online accounts I hope to get. And memberships into Writer's Federation, ISSA-CANADA Cleaning Management Institute, Retail Council of Canada and Johnny's Gym.

I was forcibly taken off a job in We'koqma'q One Stop by Mawita'mk Society because I needed to work on my physical fitness health goals and achieve the goals that I need to achieve to success in this world. I know that my stepfather has all the powers he needs because I'd agreed to them when I'd asked for his help. But it gives me a few good reasons to workout and grow physically my muscles. I know that I want to have my hometown restaurant and lounge in Eskasoni. Have my own place upstairs and enjoy my own personal success with cooking. I want to learn Mi'kmaq traditional cooking and become a chef in that.

I have to work on my physical fitness health while I have a chance. I want to leave on really good terms of personal independence and leadership skills. I want to have everything I need to live somewhere else. I know that we are dealing with racism.

I want to work around the 13 First Nation communities in Nova Scotia. I know that Eskasoni Rehab gave me my second chance to sober up and live a sensible life. My step uncles don't know what is sensible. Yeah they work but I don't know what. They know everything about me but I know nothing of them. So I won't miss them. I'll miss my stepfather but with my step uncles I don't think I will have to miss them. I'd cried at my real father's funeral but I won't miss him. I want to invest into my level of education, training and driving. I want to be this skilled in many ways.

I know that I want my own professional reputation for jobs well done and a good many friends with We'koqma'q One Stop, We'koqma'q Tim Hortons, a few Apprenticeships and ISSA-CANADA Cleaning Management Institute's courses. I hope that I could make a lot of good friends.

Inspired a lot of people and have everything I need to leave on good terms with Mawita'mk Society. Right now I'm enjoying the benefits, resources, perks, supports and assistance that I have now. I know that I want to make the best out of living here. I know that I don't want any repeats of Eskasoni because I know that Eskasoni hasn't changed. My life have been intellectually and psychologically manipulated, damaged and seduced to thinking, believing and having diverse feelings in the indiscriminate, hateful and toxic world of addictions and discriminations and hypersexuality.

I know that when I was young I was introduced to Hong Konging which was an Eskasoni thing. Yes, I've suffered, deepen my understanding of my mental/emotional space and recovered from deep pains, heartaches and abuses. I was re-hashing my upheavals when I was young.

I know that I had to rip the hatred out of my heart. I've been learning how deepen wisdom plays in my life where I had to trust my stepfather. I'd was abused in so many ways that my stepfather still don't know my childhood. I wanted to tell him everything in my arsenal, to spit venom in my step uncles and to tell how I was learning coping skills in a unhealthy way. I wanted to tell my stepfather that my biological mother cheated on him with my step uncle but I grew sicken and wasteful. I knew that Dodo didn't want me to have a emotional intelligence or health about things.

I was deprived because my stepfather was in a constant state of devastation because of my step uncle. I know that my step uncle didn't want me to tell my stepfather anything. It's unfair how much emotional damages, mental strains and intellectual deprivation they've put on me.

Because they've deprived me of youth opportunities in my younger years. Everyone took advantage of my physical weaknesses and threatened me to give up or be a bitch. Someone to walk all over because I had no physical fitness health or strengths from sports, fitness and walking. I never was dominant in my life because everyone deprived me, stole from me, not scare of me and wasn't acknowledging me as a dominant and powerful force in Eskasoni. I had to carry extra financial responsibilities with Rob Shipley and others. I knew that women didn't want me as a man, people didn't want me as a worker, and I wasn't given any opportunities in my life as a family member because of the Morrison family.

I know that I don't have my Eskasoni education because of sanctioned abuses, beatdowns and other mistreatments that the Morrison family had said.

I know that I did not have my full driver's license and job because of the Morrison family. I did not have any women, extra curricular activities or anything I wanted because of the Morrison family. So yeah, the Morrison family have impacted my life like that and I did not have no gym membership, Writer's Federation membership, my own job and other benefits that came with being an Eskasoni member, educated and trained. I know that I did not have anything in my life. And that's what I've known, a simple life.

I know that I was always the Mister Nobody. I did not have any respect, level of education and training, had any careers or experience, had any driving experience or training back when I was living in Eskasoni. Everyone had their opinions about me, pre-opinions and prejudgments and prejudice. I knew that my simple life was rich with writings and other things.

But I did not have any extreme things in my life. I had the women that did wanted me and I could've approached them with caution and a good sense of self-confidence. I knew that I was learning my sex market value and I had been learning my job market value. I had to stay with my stepfather because I knew that Dodo was making his life a miserable hell. 

Keeping secrets from him and letting abusers get to me and letting people beat me. He was jury, executor and judge in my life. So was my stepfather and the whole Morrison family in my life. I couldn't really have my life together and work in Eskasoni because of the Morrison family.

I am a Xennial, a generation between Millennials, Baby boomers, Silent Generation and Generation X. I was born in 1985 and I know that I could be argued that I'm a Millennial but a Xennial is more better. 1977 between 1985 are Xennials.

The philosophical and psychological works needed for ageism hasn't been met yet. The Psychology of Prejudice and Discrimination is here but I don't know if they have included that ageistic issues. I know that I've been ageistically oppressed since I was a little kid. Violence got to me but my stepfather didn't want me to do anything. Feeling trapped, stagnant and quiescent. I know that I was stuck with my stepfather because he would've wanted me to not mentally recover from mental illness, have a comeback story and my greatest victory in building a business.

Addictions got to me and I had to handle it with myself. When violence got to me I had to deal with it with my stepfather. I know that I was abused and discriminated against because I did not have any smartphone back then. I did not have any Kid's Help Phone and other services.

I  know that I was learning about how White Supremacy would rule this world. I had to be this Indigenous descendant kid who needed the Jordan's Principles and other services online to help me through my upheavals. 

That's why I'm that kid who was the intellectual authority in my life. I know that I was learning coping skills from Therapists, Psychiatrists and family doctors. I know that I needed these healthy coping skills. Suicidal post-apocalyptic romance and dating. That's where I'm at in space and in this earth. I want to kill myself because I'm so happy that this person is in my life. But I'm not allowed to pursue any relationship.

I know that I was supposed to be here until I get everything I needed: a full driver's license, my fitness, second transplant kidney, my degree and cooking Certificate. My own car and my own place. Hopefully I can get my own place in Eskasoni with my second life.

My value as a Xennial is that I bridge the differences between Millennials and Gen Xers, Millennials and Baby boomers, Millennials and multi generation of people. I know that I've learned what I could from experience and internet. The difference between internet and personal experience is that Internet only tells ya, experience gives you a richness that nobody can describe for you as a unique personality, younger mind and intellectual authority in your life. 

I am supposed to put the Intergenerational strengths and positive traits, muscles and training, employability and job experiences, qualities and characteristics, citizenship and civic pride into these Millennials. As a Xennial I'm supposed to tell the Millennials the difference in respecting their future elders and how they are culturally supposed to behave. Find the reasons behind all this and make reconciliations happen with my cultural history. 

We've made it this far and I know that a lot of momentum is slowing but our Xennial generation is supposed to be this skilled professional encouragers and motivators of this old generation, generation X, baby boomers and Millennials. We've been widely ignored and a good deal of us aren't really wasting our time. We went through addictions, hells and dimensions of hells to yet where we are. Hopefully we can make this purpose a good life. 

It's not an official term yet but as a valuable member of this province. I know that Canada can have a civic/Native pride then I might be able to figure out the shared righteous path we all supposed to be walking. We are already walking the steps to let them know but we have to be strong in our civic pride and faith, our religious pride and faith, and cultural pride and spirituality. 

I'm an 37 years old Virgo, educated Tradesman that's a Xennial and a Certified Driver. I should be working and having my own car and apartment. Relaxed in my own place with my list of electronics. I should be cherry-picking my jobs here or have my own bartending and cooking jobs. I should be a well versed into the terminology of bartending and cooking with natives. I should have my own show on APTN. I should be in the midst of the economic changes and everything. 

I'm supposed to have a level of working knowledge in trades like cooking, bartending, cleaning, laboring, landscaping and baking. I want to be fully licensed driver because I got Unama'ki Driving Certificate. And I want to be Certified and licensed in driving. I want to pay my dues and have everything I need to live somewhere else. I know that I want to have more credentials hanging on my apartment bedroom walls. I want to have all I need to put the professional schedule, training and driving in. 

My value stems from being the crucial, integral and simply central part of the bridging between the younger generation and the older generation. I know that I want to work, professionally develop and personally grow. I know that I've been learning about business in Australia and other places. 

This place was supposed to be a temporary place because I wanted to move back home. But that don't looks like is going to happen. In that Horseshoe Drive Apartment I would have repeats in my place. I know that I wouldn't have any respect in that apartment. And I know that I wouldn't have any security, peace and safety. I would be stuck where I'm at and I would decline in Eskasoni. 

Mawita'mk Society discourages me from moving. I know that they care but they are acting like bitches and assholes. I know that I could take care of myself but apparently they know better. Like I got no consciousness or intellect to learn what I need to, to live my life in Eskasoni. 

I have to learn cooperation, what right words to say in collaboration, increase my teamwork attributes and have my communication skills used in every day life. Hopefully I can learn interdependent balance with my personal powers. Discourse in power suggests that I shouldn't trust anyone because everyone wants me to be subsumed. And under this subsumption I have to accept that I'm nothing. Intellectual authority in my own life means to practice wisdom, good judgment and personal leadership skills. 

I have to learn my own personal powers, faculties and choices in my own life. Am I really able to share, in a team member environment and professional relationships, my life with other people's beliefs and values? Am I learning my powers of independence, of intelligence and empathy? Am I understanding people's wants from me and am I supposed to simply obey the people blindly? They are supposed to correct their thinking, believing and doing in my life.