Forgiveness, Acceptance and Healing

My step uncles are so pettily wrong that they wouldn't admit they are wrong, even though they are wrong. My step uncles hate me because they wanted young people's sex happening. So that way I cannot say anything about the sexism that these ladies do. The ladies control my emotions like how my step uncles do. And expect a normal perspective of things. They'd dysregulated my mind, they'd traumatized me, they'd malnourished me, these people hate me so much that I didn't have the emotional rights to get angry towards them. I couldn't defend myself properly because that's how hated I am with certain people. Even my cousin Ray.

The forced shared feelings that these supposed righteous bitches had over me was because neuroethically they didn't want to leave me alone. During my time in Eskasoni these bitches have affected my self esteem and my sexual self development.

My stepfather tried to tell me that I shouldn't be socializing with these kinds of women because they didn't have any respect for me. I know that justice was sorely denied and repressed culturally and emotionally speaking. They wanted me to be dominated and share my mental space with their beliefs. 

I was taught by my step uncles to be powerless over my own mind. And accept their dominance in my life because it's the right thing to do. For a bunch of addicts that wanted my moral downfall and crestfallen. I know that they hated me when I was innocent. Ray have hated me and so many others.

I got a whole personal history of people dominating my life. Forgiveness, acceptance and healing haven't started because I haven't properly went through the necessary emotions I need to; to come up with emotions to be able to determine for myself.

I know that my sexuality started when I was a little boy. I was 4-5 years old and I was a happy little boy. I had a good food and good TV. I could've live innocently ideally good. 

Until shit started to happen; I knew that people have hated and was annoyed by me, that they wanted controllability over me through addictions. So my step cousin Ray have implemented that inhalant addiction to me as I'd explored the community on my own. "Reality is almost always wrong" Dr. House. 

And learning how my childhood has been affected by old school beliefs and values. "We grow attach to our beliefs", Dr. Richard Bandler's words. I am paraphrasing but that's practically what he said. We have been trying to control traumas and emotions for so long that an elegant punishment system seems to be an answer. "Trauma cannot always be conquered, fixed, or resolved, but it can be heard, held and loved". Dr. Gabor Matè's words. Most people don't want to change their attached beliefs and values because it's right in someone's views.

My step uncle have escaped their punishments by living through me. They assumed if they are passionate about my punishments they could solve their relational problems through traumatizing me. But they've worsen my situation through a dysregulated mind. Trauma causes hypersexuality and hyper-independence because it fits their instinctive self protectivity and biological needs. Dodo wanted to ruin my life through traumas and beatdowns. They didn't want the actions to stop, they wanted to perpetuate in a cycle.

Knowing that particular relational influences don't want me to change my beliefs because of truth and right in their views. I know that I am hated to keep certain true, right beliefs and values of myself in my life. I question their nature of the system of beliefs and values. What's the truest capacity of my own mind when it comes to beliefs and values?

There is forced forgiveness because of the guilt they've produced. And I know that Dodo don't want me to learn new science or psychology because he is the lessen moral grounds in this. Nobody at Mawita'mk Society don't want me to run my own brain. Or recover because of their old school beliefs and values. My step uncles got their vengeance through abusing, discriminating and manipulating my beliefs and values. They didn't want me to cope or deal by myself. Or run my own brain because they wanted my moral downfalls. I had to unlearn their toxicity, immorality and shaming and guilting. If I could change my beliefs and values for moral reasons than I surely would do it. The family don't want this kind of thinking because they refuse to believe they are the causes and reasons for immoral behaviors.

A stigma-free state isn't what Mawita'mk Society, family or any other person in my life wants because of their pettily ass feelings. 
Not one person in this "traditional" life is wanting the stopping of right and true self running my own brain to come to an effect. 

They hate me and needs therapy. Clyde knows that he could manipulate truth because it's memories. And changing the beliefs and values takes simple thinking; than he could forget his memories and get vengeance for something he considers an offense. He could interpret the memories like an offense. And learn to build beliefs and values around it. All it takes is persuasions that he didn't do it. Guise his thinking into "traditional" thinking and get away with crimes like that without suffering it out.

Psychology or neuroscience is to understand the faculties of mind to improve on it, right? How do you stop criminal behaviors? Simply getting rid of the memory and morally sticking with a good sets of beliefs and values. What is memory epistemologically?
Yeah memories that serve well is what gives meanings into our neuroethical conscience. 

But what is strength-based approaches when you have to serve yourself? Running your own brain is the ultimate independence in life. Is the growing emotional intelligence of a particular memory serving well other than serving someone else's hatred? Learning life skills and job skills, and than driving skills is running my own brain. Choosing what I want in my life is the legitimate sense of purpose to develop, grow, evolve and learn from. But memories that serve well in my life have been greatly questionable because getting over them seems to be a thing of running my own brain through beliefs and values. 

Epistemologically speaking I know that I could make up my purpose and sense of service to whatever God I may choose. But I know that old school psychology have ruled my mind. And learning to work through certain difficulties in my life.

A strategic approach is to make an intelligent decision based on emotions and "feeling it out". But this psychological works was talking about possibilities of changing the images that scare in my own brain, to a less scary figures. And learning that Dodo wanted to keep me scared and running, I know that he expected me to not thrive intellectually speaking. Even when I was being traumatized and abused, my step uncles didn't want me to get over certain discriminations because they wanted me to accept, forgive and heal. How in the hell am I supposed to forgive, accept and heal when they are the causes of my dysregulated mind? I don't think old school deficit-based approaches is any good because they have violence to them.

Dodo have been using the same psychological works to hide his greatest shames in his life. And knowing that he wanted me to fail miserably.

He didn't want to take responsibility for his relational influences. I know that Dodo has been toxic and hateful in so many ways that he guises himself as the moral judge, disciplinarian and therapist, morally speaking. 

You would think, thinking has gotten this far with my thought history. And yeah I'm remembering certain things in my life because Dodo has been a threatening force. I don't think neuroethics could explain psychological issues such as discriminations, abuses and manipulations as such in depth of psycho-sexuality. I know that I've been learning about options with the science of mind and behaviors. Dodo has been a hindrance of my personal development.

Morality issues has arise because of certain powers of discriminations and prejudicial treatments and prejudicial distinctions and mistreatments. I know that Dodo hates me because I exposed him.

I know that I've been learning that traumas on early stages of life can have great effects on the body. Learning that people hated me and won't respect me, is something of pettiness and disregard. I am nobody to these people that dominate my life. Knowing that I had barely sexual explorations in my life. I know that I'm insane and hated because nobody would want me to recover from this mental illness. Yeah I know that people lie and cheat me out of my youth. Forgiveness is a form of acceptance and healing. It's overcoming the pains emotionally intelligently. I know that to think was a crime in itself. It meant whatever relational influences was presented, I had to follow because of certain powers in place.

Morality issues neuroethically speaking has been scientifically questioned because of Dr. Gabor Matè's works in The Myth of Normal and In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts. I know that I've been discriminated against. And because of Dr. Marsha Linehan and Dr. Richard Bandler's works. I know that people freed from habitual thinking and create their own sets of beliefs and values. Epistemologically speaking I would be freed to change my beliefs into useful suggestions and resourceful beliefs. 

My step uncles wanted me to be the ideal candidate for their psycho-historic manipulations, discriminations, experimentations and deprivations. I know a thing or two about suffering because of the Morrison family. I wanted vengeance and they wanted control over me. In Eskasoni I couldn't protect myself or defend myself because I was that hated. Through psychological warfare I've been learning to glide with my self hatred. Dodo has been proving that he hates me and so have Chuck Morrison. 

They didn't want me to break any generational curses, stop intergenerational impacts or make good with my own life. They expected me to go bed under threat. And I was threatened by Dodo severely. I know that he, and Chuck have damaged me in so many ways. I know that they have entered my mind and made duress in my life. They wanted a severe power imbalace that I couldn't recover from their discriminations and abuses. Eskasoni has been largely part of my individualism training and hindrance. The Morrison have been large part of my individualism training too. 

They only knew what they knew. And learning how relational influences could be; how relationship dynamics(based on strength-based approaches and researches) could be. I knew that people hate me because they've never discovered the psychological works and perspectives I've discovered. People don't want to solve the Great Criminological Phenomenon. They wanted to get angry and pettily fucked me up. I know that I was hated because they've shown it through not forgiving, and accepting me. And through their actions. 

Getting bad suggestions or getting the same old psychological stuff. I know that coping is a skill; so is a life skill. The adequate knowledge of coping skills, life skills, trade skills, driving skills and parental knowledge is way out there. I've had an philosophy of non-judgmentalism where I had to have an unbiased approaches, stigma-free states, impartial Indigenous descendant's jurisprudence, protective discipline of neutralism and brinkmanship. And a guardianship of family values and these fundamental principles in my approaches to perpetrators of generational curses, perpetuaters of intergenerational impacts and intercultural prejudices. And silence. 

I have to carry these burdens because my step family couldn't protect me from pedophiles. And from themselves. They were already on a self-destructive path and everyone had to get straight. Become a straight shooter. Honest to the truths they carry and a good sensible lifestyle living. I know that I've experienced abuses and discriminations in my childhood. I know that Dodo hadn't owned up to his wrongs. Every teenager I've met up with was useful and resourceful. 

Forgiveness is a righteous path of moral tradition. And learning the coping skills and moral strengths to forgive the gamut of the irreversibility of the past. Learning to use therapies in my own life, to develop better senses and moral choices. That's worth forgiving, accepting and healing. To examine my own life is to see faults, other people's faults and to forgive them. 

The burdens of my past I have to witnessed because of old school, Mawita'mk Support Workers. I know that old school sticks with the irreversibilties of the past. And everything they've ever wanted, is perfection and ideal life where I couldn't explore my sexuality in a healthy way. Holding me back is their jealousy of me, their hatred and envy. They don't know me but because they heard stories about me, they think they are experts on me. 

There is so much hatred in this world that they want me held back. I know that I've gotten my ALP education, I became an Certified Driver(without anyone being held accountable) and Certified Tradesman(again without anyone being held accountable). I know that certain people in Eskasoni hated me so much they were pettily wrong. That home invasions and assaults started. Certain people in Eskasoni hate me because of my nerdiness. 

They wanted me wrong and terribly vilified. They always wanted those kinds of discriminations and prejudice. Learning that people don't want me to think of reasons to not socialized. They refused my rights to choose whether I want to do things or not. Especially when it comes to functions. But I don't mind this fitness journey. 

It's not being gutless. It's learning that society isn't learning shit. I know that because people refuse to learn what I've learned. I know that people wanted truth to come out and ruin my life. They assume some kind of big reaction from me. I know that certain people still have powers over my mind. I know that I could figure out how to defend, protect and guard my own life. 

Mawita'mk Society has taught me to be afraid to defend myself instead of always having brave self confidence in my self-efficacy. I know that I have been learning that certain  people want me afraid to move on out of here. Knowing that I'm hated by certain people. I was held back because of certain powers in place. 

Now I had my fair shares of women. Learning that I'm nothing in name of love. I never had any chances to have a long-term relationship with any of them. I know that I was hated by them and learning my value in terms of sex. Probably should've went through proper channels. 

I know that I've been discriminated against and abused. Been beaten and malnourished, deprived and hindered in so many ways. I know that I've must've been sexually abused in some fashion or way. Chuck doesn't want me to think about my experiences fully. Intellectual bravery and intellectual confidence go hand in hand when being anti-authority. Forced authority is what the Morrison family is. 

They had to create a counter narrative and stop my emancipation from the Morrison. I never had a good life in Eskasoni without the bad. Negative emotions have dominated my life. How would my portraiture could be? How would my oeuvre be? I know that I was in Negative states but I still didn't judge or lied. 

I know that my cousins hated me but Shannon has forgiven me. I know that certain cousins would set up things over the years to test me. Learning that I had to go through loop holes like a dolphin, I know that I was trapped in Eskasoni because of RCMP hating on me. There was no real justice for me because of RCMP. 

Punishments is a reason to traumatize than I don't want any part of this fucked up family. They have no reason to traumatize because they aren't really good people if they have to resort to violence. Knowing that Dodo wanted me to suffer it out through punishments isn't a good enough reason to traumatize. 

Old school has it's merits. It taught me to value family members no matter what. Because forgiveness, acceptance and healing is an option. Uselessness in learning about their despair, lost of trust and how they didn't know about strength-based morality. Old school corruption gave me my pain, which in turn gave me my Profundity of Critical Thinking. 

Old school gave me a sense of humor, thicker skin of mental toughness, to go through proper channels of dating and fucking. And to become financially independent which I've lived ideally with a subsistence economic and sustenance economic lifestyle in Eskasoni. Small monies was my thing. Old school has suppressed and repressed my emotions into deeper subconsciousness that I need therapy for it. Which makes for my great personality now. 

The complexity and diversity of the human brain necessitates new mathematics and deeper psychophysics. Time Cure: Overcoming PTSD with New Psychology of Time Perspective Therapy. I just paraphrased and added my ideas to it. I know that I've learnt a lot over the years. Morality issues neuroethically speaking has been a wide range of the spectrum of issues in a variety, complexity and diversity of people, generational curses and intergenerational impacts. 

The complexity, variety and diversity of neural  network systems in a human connections of neural areas can be affected by psychophysics. How discipline the mind can be and how old school can have great effects on the human brain. An exposition or explanation of psychophysics these days can have a great gamut of things in historic story of the evolution of psychophysics. 

Experimental psychology is the next step. I know that I've been learning about the history of psychology in "A Critical History and Philosophy of Psychology". Who I have come to respect as a whole, holistic psychological terrain of the geography in psychological history. That and "The Inner Palace: Mirrors of Psycho-spirituality in Divine and Sacred Wisdom-Tradition". Talking about consciousness and complex psychological works in their wisdom-tradition. 

I am making the most of my time by reading at dialysis "The Myth of Normal" by Dr. Gabor Matè, "Get The Life You Want" by Dr. Richard Bandler, Dr. John Gottman's work in "The Relationship Cure", Dr. Viktor E. Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning", Dr. Philip Zimbardo's work in "The Lucifer Effect", eBooks like Dr. Carl Gustav Jung and "Modern Man in Search of a Soul", Dr. Philip Zimbardo's "TimeCure: Overcoming PTSD with New Psychology of Time Perspective Therapy" and other doctors. 

Learning to run my own brain in terms of these intellectual works I have purchased. I ain't done living yet. There is room mentally, intellectually and physically to use my time in utmost way. The Renegade is supposed to be, I am anti-authority because I've been lead down the wrong roads before. I've been there before, I know that people hated me. And learning these doctors and more intellectual works in my collections of books, encyclopedias and intellectual works, is serving me well. I know that I have to forgive, accept and heal, and move on. It's a psychological state to be stinking thinking, to reminisce about the past, and to question my life in essential science of psychology. 

These books will help me get over, to put words that needed words through emotional literacy. And to have an emotional intelligence of a particular memory. Alexithymia is a word that says that a person has difficulty in experiencing, identifying and expressing emotions. I know that enantiodroma is the tendency of things to change into their opposites, especially as a governing principle of natural cycles of psychological development. My step uncle didn't want me to learn the difference between bullying addicts and a good, responsible addicts. 

I know it now. Since I have the experience of my step uncles who were closest to me. I've been developing with addicts who didn't want to cope, learn and develop. I have to carry that kind of burdens in my past, in intergenerational impacts, generational curses and discriminations and abuses they've created in me. I mention books for them to collect, read and share their knowledge. They are supposed to know these kinda of knowledge, scientific literature and intelligence. I know that they are still moral cowards to confront their remorse. 

I know that they are tired and sick of their lives. These adults of my generation. I know that people hate me in Eskasoni. Knowing this I know that psychological works could provide answers. What's the downfall? You find out that you're wrong in "no excuses for punishment" philosophy. You are a moral coward and don't want to learn. 

Dodo is a moral coward because he has suppressed, repressed and oppressed my knowledge of witnessing the breaking of vows. I know that Dodo isn't a responsible addict because I couldn't reflect my past in retrospect. And everyone allowed that to happened. So I needed to examine my past, I needed to have personal powers over my own psyche, I needed the clarity of truthfulness. Dodo has beaten me into submission. Suffered the consequences of his so called offense of sex. And he goes back to hiding.

He was corrupted and morally bad relational influences. I know that he wasn't considering the weight of my need for truthfulness, honesty and integrity. He has abused and gotten away with abusing me, discriminating against me, harming me. I'd witnessed him and my biological mother cheating. And he hasn't paid for that because nobody wanted his punishments because he would take his frustrations out on me. He is a classic child abuser. 

In "Neuroethics: Mapping The Field" they don't reduced ethical edifices of social/personal  bioregulation to a evolutionary standpoint, a brain structure or genetic development or anything that has inner truths connecting the personality to epigenetics, genetics or evolution. They talk about the conducive self betterments through inner explorations connecting with social awareness and practiced wisdom. Everyone works together and they could possibly have utopian community. "The Lucifer Effect: Understanding How Good People Turn Evil" talks about situational forces. Learning that Dodo could've used a reliable source of moral examples. He didn't want to use anything religious, institutional or family. He relied on violence associated with old school deficit-based approaches. 

There are brain systems for moral developments that could have a wider impact if I had clarity of truthfulness, honesty and integrity of the family carried. I know that I did nothing to stop the stressors of getting laid. And I did nothing to stay away from these people. Family haven't been responsible in developing their parental techniques and strategies in terms of these works. 

But they could use new/old school beliefs and values in strength-based approaches, resourceful beliefs and useful suggestions. It's a mixed of schools, with Two-Eye Seeing philosophy and individualistic applicability, to encourage good behaviors. Knowing that my step uncles could've used these kinds of strengths and powers to help me. 

But they don't believe in anything positive. I know that I've experienced discriminations, deprivations and abuses in terms of nutrition, health care and independence. I know that I've been held back because the Morrison family wanted me to fail miserably. They kept on making me miss school and not have full-time employment. The Morrison family, or Dodo and Chuck especially, didn't want me to succeed. They'd all set me up for moral failures and miserable experiences. Knowing that traumas causes hypersexuality and hyper-independence, which Dodo don't want to validate, acknowledged and accept because he is a moral coward.

Dodo's discriminatory individualistic practices and beliefs aren't that responsible. He wants simple solutions-based approaches because he doesn't want to read, research or investigate, or invest into reading any scientific works. He claims that he didn't know that traumas causes hypersexuality and hyper-independence in children, more aggressiveness and more anger. Which in turn causes anti-authority, distrust or loss of trust in authority figures, and making own paths. 

I was a co-dependent which is something I think I had. Overthinking and always need help to have the "correct thinking". Learning that free thinking is measures of controllability in my psyche. I know that people have suffered and want me to share their hells. I've been lifting myself out of this addictive, attractive and horrible darkness they've created in me. Corruptive Powers will always corrupt if they don't admit their wrongs. These people aren't icons or best people to look up to. Still I have to trailblaze my way to self developments. 

Religiously suffering has been accepted as the common experience in life. And learning to make meanings out of my suffering; deciding factors me! I know that Dodo hasn't suffered or gotten his comeuppance. I know that I have to empathize all this into a positivity of moral strengths, running my own brain means leaving everyone behind. But I am codependent because everyone wants to control my psychology. 

I am learning Narcissistic Personality disorder traits and types of them. I know that I've been learning about certain people because Narcissistic Personality people manipulate, keep you close and have control over your psychology like the Morrison step uncles. Knowing that I've been through hells years before anyone knew. 

How can I forgive pedophiles who have Narcissistic Personalities? I know that I have been learning diagnoses and prognoses. Learning Psychodiagnostics I seem to be a intuitive person who had learnt Dodo's hatred. And manipulations, discriminations and probably future abuses. I know that he doesn't want to learn because he is a moral coward. 

I actually went off the topic of forgiveness, acceptance and healing. I know that sweat lodges could provide a good healing sessions in terms of cultural therapy. I have life experiences going in sweat lodges ceremonies. And being a Firekeeper and participant. I know with my port on my left chest side I have to be careful with what I do. I cannot go into sweat lodges because I could get infected. But I had 21 years with my first transplant kidney and lost my kidney in 2020/2021. 

The spell over my head is broken. My step uncle is no more a moral coward. He hasn't faced it like a man but he avoids punishments. Trauma causes hypersexuality and hyper-independence in people, knowing that he has traumatized and abused me through discriminations and addictions. I know that now I have this spell broken. I am still learning my emotional reality of my own emotional intelligence to certain memories. I should forgive, accept and heal, and move on. 

It's hard because there is some murkiness to it in ways where I haven't explained or made an exposition. There are certain memories I needed to get. I know that in We'koqma'q community I'm living my best life. Knowing that I'm Eskasoni band status I know that I could always return home. It's an option and I know that I could start my own business or work for a business. Hopefully I can work for Googoo's Landscaping. 

Syliboy's Landscaping and General Contracting: Labor services, building projects and decks, Landscaping and yard clean-up  services, gardening and dentrological services (planting trees). I could do something like that. I know that I need to get my NSCC Horticulture and Landscape Technology diploma program and go for my Red Seal papers in landscaping and than get my NSCC Carpentry Certificate and diploma. Get my Red Seal in that and start to build. 

My step uncles believe in corporal discipline, traumatic punitive measures and a good deal of emotional/relational influences for replacing genuine emotional reactions. My step uncles have forced their beliefs into me. And learning that they've didn't care about my traumas. I know that they didn't have any respect for actual science because they are emotional/moral cowards. Now I have their anger into my bones. And learning that nobody wants me to have personal powers over my own life. To choose what beliefs and values I should uphold. 

Morality issues neuroethically speaking is part of individualistic training. People depend and vilify way too much on the facts of individualistic confidence. Egocentric biases serve my step uncles well into the 90s and 80s, even 2000s. They don't want to give up their beliefs and values because they don't want to learn they are wrong. They are moral cowards. 

Open-mindedness versus mindlessness is an intellectual endeavors of always a constant, rich and full intellectual experience of the individuals. An open-mind is an intellect or a framework of knowledge to synthesize and integrate meaningful works like Dr. Carl Gustav Jung, Dr. Gabor Matè, Dr. Richard Bandler and Dr. Marsha Linehan, into their knowledge based understanding. It's willingness to see and understand other views, to empathize with other social brains, to be freed from prejudices and cognitive biases. And to not fall for logical fallacies and cognitive distortions. 

They told me to have the "correct thinking", " The right attitude" and the "The right mentality". Neuroethically I should be freed from their influences and grip over my mind, they'd fucked me up and destroyed any innocence they may have about them, about me and Dodo has abused me. 

Through all this negativity, hells and suffering I was taught to figure myself out. How to cope best for their corporal discipline. And how they hated me in ways of being innocent. Criminals thrive on society's indulgence of understanding but the society has figured out behavioral modifications, persuasions engineering and designs. I know that earning trust through food is an easy task. But food has been my salvation from Eskasoni. 

In a troubled relationship, it's said by Dr. John Gottman, " discussions of conflict can trigger intense emotions that sometimes lead to "flooding". This means you feel so stressed that you become emotionally and physically overwhelmed. You're no longer able to think clearly, or to participate in a conversation in a fruitful way".

Imagine my complicated relationships with the Morrison family. Learning how I should study and work on my knowledge. My step uncle allowed me to vent my frustration about my step-parents' interference with my self development in my teenage years. Curly is a type of woman willing to control but to help read, remember and synthesize? No! She doesn't want me to learn necessary knowledge skills I needed on my own. 

I couldn't even imagine because I was so overwhelmed with their stresses. I know that emotional transference was their thing. And learning that they'd emotionally abused me, intellectually abused me and culturologically oppressed me. I know that her beliefs and values was something I needed to grow into my intellectual independence. 

Reading books can be an ego-investment of self development, self discipline practices and a part of your routine, uncle. These books can serve well in understanding what influenced our mainstream culture. I know that people want this kind of spiritual, stigma-free, scientific and social understanding. I am learning that I am wrong in believing in corporal discipline. I've used it on my sisters and brothers. Which I had no control over their reactions, their rebelling and anti-authoritarianism. 

My step uncles' Narcissistic Personalities don't want to learn because one of them is a moral coward. There is a moral competition in being better than the person's life story. Everyone has something wrong with them. And knowing that people don't want to change, certain individuals. The mainstream culture would change them. 

Curly intellectually abused me. But the Morrison have impacted my life with corporal discipline that have been majorly the reasons for my hypersexuality and hyper-independence. Which I know that in retrospect I could've reached out and made connections with educated people that didn't believed in corporal discipline. 

I didn't know all this because thru intellectually oppressed me. I know that my truths was suppressed and my memories repressed. I know that I was disadvantaged and abused, discriminated and manipulated, deprived and hindered. Learning all my intellectual opportunities was denied because of Curly and the family. Everyone forbidden knowledge like cancer. And denied me opportunities in self development. 

I know that I couldn't invest into my own personal library. Knowing that the Step-parents had their watchful eye on me when I was a teenager. Curly may not believe in corporal discipline but the Morrison gotten to me. Punched me and nearly wrecked my life. I know that hypersexuality and hyper-independence was my issues because I did not want the Morrison to win. But they were with corrupting me because Dodo wanted consequences. Traumatic consequences. 

I want to get a good book called Situation Ethics: New Morality by Joseph F. Fletcher. I know that I could learn about my empathic skills in a new light. I know that Intergenerational Impacts of Indian Residential Schools have impacted his beliefs and values. Epistemologically speaking he is fucked up. I know that people don't want me to hold myself up, to run my own brain and to have controls and influences in my own life. There is a severe power imbalace in my life.

I have a bunch of good reasons to live my life in We'koqma'q community. Well it's kind of difficult to have dates while I'm on dialysis. 

My anxiety has been my main reasons why I don't socialize. Am I attractive? Am I getting the most of my opportunities in We'koqma'q community? I think I am because I've been educated by NSCC Adult Learning Program, NSCC Construction Trades Labor program and Unama'ki Driving Program. I know that people keep an eye on me through my smartphone. And there is nothing I can do about it. These days you'll need a NSCC Certificate or diploma to work in certain fields.

Learning that job opportunities depends on your education. That's some form of classism that needs to be addressed. I know that I don't have any powers to stop discriminations based on my education.

Educationism is a form of discriminations based on your level of education, post-secondary education or none at all. It's reasons to not look into Educationism as a means of social dependency. Educationism has forced their way into mainstream because they are a means to control, manipulate or dehumanize the uneducated. Poverty has been largely because people don't have education, knowledge but no education.

Educationalism versus Educationism could be something that is talked about. Educationalism is a belief that educational means is a strategy for a good reason. Not because of educationism. I know that education is important but to what degree? I know that school can be important but work used to be free market. And having pockets of free market around Eskasoni, I think I'd worked for some of them.

I know that the free market value people in ways. I had a good workethic, discipline and routine with my stepfather. I dreaded the work sometimes, well most of the times, but he was always there helping me get motivated. 

My stepfather was an action-oriented, pro-active and active person in my life. Every time I needed to talk; he was there to talk but I'd suffered alexithymic confusion and had to get the words in. We worked on my emotional reality through emotional regulation, distress tolerance, mindfulness, emotional literacy and emotional intelligence. I know that I had to learn emotional sobriety from him. Nobody wanted to trust in sobriety because they are emotional/moral cowards.

Knowing that happiness came from my environment too. I know that I've been learning about options in We'koqma'q community. I know that I could have a business or work for a business.

I know that here I'm loved, respected, accepted and appreciated in terms of self development. I know that I want to be goal-minded in terms of self development. People don't want to learn self development because they know that they are wrong in traumatic punishments. Trauma causes dysregulated minds which will lead to hypersexuality and hyper-independence. Which my step uncles knew and they still went with it. I am working out and I strongly believe that I have a sense of purpose, faith in God, trust with certain degree, with Mawita'mk Society, and a general good feeling of happiness almost every day.

I know that Indigenous old school I don't know. But the old school that my Narcissistic step uncles have used wasn't that great. I have Intellectual confidence and bravery with a good sense of service in my future jobs and good workethic my stepfather instilled.

I know that I'm well balanced, could get in and out of darkness, have a good sense of humor, have a general good feeling and a sense of well-being, with a great sense of happiness that I get to read all these books, pdfs and dictionaries, encyclopedias and eBooks. I measure my pleasure by how well my day is spent. Knowing that Mawita'mk Society is a good place. I am thankful, grateful and appreciative of where I'm at, with a good general feeling of contribution, happiness and job satisfaction. I don't take pride in my beadwork because it's kind of hard for me. 

And knowing that Sheila influenced, or somebody influenced that last post that I'd posted about beadwork.

I know that people wants me to depend on them to decide, to run my own brain and to spend my money. I know that I don't have any emotional independence. Because I am extremely dependent on Mawita'mk staff.
I have to develop patience but I don't want to. 

I know that Sheila wants me part of their little ensemble. Learning that my sisters Billie Jean and Katt is coming around, I hope they learn about psychological literature. Especially mental health and how certain people have it in our family. I know this because I had my first meltdown with Mike MacInnis in Eskasoni Rehab. My family have Narcissistic Personalities in certain ways. Learning that I've needed truthfulness, or truthology, to be my study with the family. I know that family won't tell the truths and facts of their life. Based on my childhood I've experienced people lying first and than adding more lies.

But I know that I'm safe, have a general good feeling, generally happy with a good sense of well-being. I have BA majoring in psychology, addiction and environment. I think than I could get my BASE degree.

I know that I've had a lot of generally good feelings with Mawita'mk Society. I have my future to look forward to in We'koqma'q community, with Eskasoni school funds. But learning the values of diligence in terms of professionalism, should definitely depend on your educationalism. I know that I was taught go be tougher than my elders because of Indian Residential Schools. I had to have an anti-authority towards them because of ageistic abuses, power abuses and such discriminations. But my education experience depends on certain people. The workethic means any personal sets of values ant employee approaches work for quality. 

Different personalities, many beliefs and values, diversity and complexity of human culture has Mi'kmaq culturology an interesting topic. Psycho-culturological aspects has certain quality of a modern Mi'kmaq in search of a soul. I am Certified in many things, including cultural things.

I know that I've wanted culturology to be my studies with native studies. Knowing that psycho-historic conditions for cultures has been something of an interesting topics. I know that I've experienced abuses and discriminations but what culturology has influenced that kind of cultural toxicity? I know that I was hated and disliked in so many ways. Through Devotibio I was attached to my toxicity. I had to unlearned toxicity in culture. 

And do what I need to do in terms of purifying the knowledge. Be a culturological therapist, be something of a good educational/culturological therapist and psychological historian of Unama'ki.

I know that I was learning that I need to be an studious student of culturology and psychology. I know that my books should be safe at Mawita'mk Society. Or I should move for those reasons. I should pile on that Mawita'mk Society has no accountability.

Morality issues at Mawita'mk Society has disabilities and weaknesses that I cannot get a good grip on. Learning that Mawita'mk Society doesn't hold anyone accountable for their actions, I know that I need to move because everything is building up and culminating into a implosion or explosion, of something. I know that people hate me because they've gotten away with so much over the years. Morality issues would be worst in Eskasoni because people wouldn't leave. Morality issues has been rising for me, people seem to walk all over me without regard to my place. Learning that people don't have any respect for me. I am learning that people follow certain suggestions for Clyde, Vickie Pierro, and other over the years.

They favored the argumentative people. I know that Rosie doesn't have any respect for my books. And have respect for consequences.

I am focused on self development which is a continuous self improvement, edification and education. I know that I have therapies that I should try on myself. To deny truths and facts means you have a past to hide. I don't know any generational truths or facts; which means the power is all my step uncles. My stepfather Billy Aquan has inculcate truths of dealing, coping and learning. Dodo wanted to be in my life because he wanted to be my downfall. But through religion and prayers, I've fought the devil and lost couple battles. To play "Fire with Fire" with him was to step in his realm of possibilities and experiences, knowledge and level of skills. And lose to a veteran manipulator and Dark Addicted Criminal mind and lose couple battles.

Generational curses has affected me in intergenerational impacts, generational cycles of traumas and multi generational old school deficit-based approaches in violence.
Grief because of my many life changing events in my life and my experience with educationism, classism and sexism, ageism and toxic mainstream culture back in the day. There Will always be bullies wanting to cancel people out, there will always be some form of oppressionism in forms of Educationism, Sexism, Ageism, Racism, and other criteria for grounds of type of discriminations. We live in a fragile world with fickle fascination of male powers, masculinity and the culture. I had intense grief because I'd moved here. This is my form of intellectualism. Trying to make efforts in making sense, telling my story and examining my life. Not very good but I'm trying something.

I know that my grammar sucks, my typing is good but I cannot formulate my own biosocial theories, psychological works or psycho-culturological argumentation.