I Am An Former Employee, Former Addict, Former Recipient, And Something of A Role Model!

Usually here I have good mornings. That seem to be the common thing here. I am an former Employee of We'koqma'q One Stop. And a former addict of Eskasoni. I was a responsible addict which makes my stories boring. My life is so uneventful that no chick would want me. I am a former patient of Grace Maternity Hospital, and a former recipient of my first transplant kidney at IWK. 

I know that even then my step uncles wanted me to get a chick. I knew than they were pedophiles. I couldn't really prove it and learning that I am not welcomed there anymore. I know that women are difficult, stubborn and hard to get in bed with. Every lesson I do get has s price on YouTube.

I know that I don't want any association with a bunch of sissies who want me to give up on my principles and values, beliefs and useful suggestions. I know that my step uncles didn't want me to escape because they are.

Most places I was a child; it was just professional care. I cannot rebuke the facts of my life because my step family has cheated with so many ladies. Learning that I am less of a sexual symbol and sicken with myself. I know that I could get over it and continue with my life because I got a sense of purpose. I know that I could pass beyond desperation and learn to love myself through these doctors and theologians I have. I know with the Faith of my Lord I don't have, need or desire a wrong lover or a bunch of sexual partners because I know that I'm not perfect. I know that my sex life isn't perfect, there is the myth perpetuated by hypersexual pedophiles that they are having better sex than me. And know that I don't have any role models in my life other than doctors and philosophers, historians and psychologists. I know that people are anti-intelligent and put in measures of control and insert their beliefs and values.

I find that people lie and than cheat their way into my comfort zone, which I have to evit them and stop them from dominating my life. I know that they are ignoramuses like a woman, a person and a friend.  I know that I don't get respected by my intelligence, I get controlled by elders who think they know better. I know that I could learn by myself, the life lessons, the scientific principles, the values of reading materials, and family beliefs in crimes and criminology. I know that people don't want me to think for myself because they love control, power and ageistic authority. Norma and Ricky never gets the interpretation right. They mixed me up with someone that's a beginner in reading experience.

I know that they would use words in mundane and unscientific, unscrupulous and ignorant way. I know that Ricky loves to hear his voice. But I could be rash and not think of it. 

A certain somebody doesn't know that a Bible could be a book that is religiously read, with research and questions. Him and Norma don't respects me as a intellectual authority. Ricky is a simpleton and if he can convince me that I'm a simpleton like him, he would. I know that a certain somebody doesn't respects independence, intellectual authority, mental acumen and beliefs and values I have. Nobody does because my stepfather wants me to be controlled, manipulated and susceptible to elders. I am anti-authority and I know a threat when I see one. Control is an issue for me and a certain somebody is pushing all my buttons. Intelligence and independence are similar because they both uses knowledge from books, encyclopedias and eBooks.

Than again I've been arrogant before. Learning that people don't want me to be powerful in my own life. I know that I don't fit any criteria in women's standards.

I know that I'd has missed scholastic opportunities in my youth because people didn't want to defend me. Knowing that I was powerless psycho-sexually, I know that I couldn't really control my own mind because that wasn't meaningfully encouraged, persuaded or let happened. I know that my step uncles wanted complete dominance over my life. Knowing that I'd stepped into their world of corruptive powers and relational influences. They know that they could persuade anyone into corruptive crimes. 

Knowing that people don't try to convince when they are shutting me up. I know that stress and frustration, vulnerability and emotions from rejection have angered and culminated into criminality.

Learning that I don't fit any criteria or standard. I know that I don't have any synthesis of knowledge into my own personal life. Learning that they don't want that.

Home is a happy, secure, safe and protective sanctuary where all my things are. I know that I have to pay in this cold socioeconomic reality. Because moving out of a group home would prove fatal. Rosie wants to see me turn 80. And if possible longer than 80. Maybe passed 100 with her. I want to prove that Mawita'mk Society is a good relationship. The concept and construct I'm talking about is quality. Different personalities and professional compassion, personal care to earn trust, fitness-oriented people and health conscious staff is in this clients/staff Mawita'mk relationship. Sociologically I know that the neurobiological, sociobiological and psychobiological aspects of a organic relationship: common interested partnership and team memberships. Is what I want too because home is a warm and food-smelling place. Where happiness, laughter and sense of humor is real. And the significance, meaning and value is realistic.

I know that being arrogant is mentioning people in ways. And knowing that I don't have much sex in my life. I know that now I have to be careful with toxic and Narcissistic Personalities in females. I know that I don't want to be trapped in a intersexual cycle of hating one sex and favoring another. Or hating both. Intergender dynamic cycles should be smooth, with a little friction which is common, and a good communicative system and support system. I've been grieving over the loss of my hometown home apartment. As long as I was in that state and delusional heaven, I was going to self destruct because I did not love myself.

I know that muscular powers matter because I sure as hell did not possess any muscles in my life. I wax deprived because I was disabled. And everyone wanted me to give up and die off. I know that was the expectations of the Morrison family.

I am an former Employee of Eskasoni band's Public Works. I want to impress them with a thick section of credentials in my portfolio. And I want to develop muscles for the ladies' eyes. And be loyal to my lover and romantic partner. Learning that they are one concept and construct. I hope that I could remember that I'm in a good relationship. Learning that ivd been through hell since I was a kid. On and off-again addictional issues, downward spirals and vulnerable moments because that's all the Morrison family gave me. I was supposed to be righteous, strong in my faith and trust God and psycho-spirituality.

Time changes everything and I don't have control over anything. I am that humble to accept that much. In truth I don't have any psychobiological powers to stop people from having sex, fighting me or dominating me. I know that I don't fit any criteria in women's standards, or men's respect.

I know that if I had any sense of humor I would use it to keep the joke alive. Everyone gets made fun of. And that's something of a generality and a guideline. I know that I'm kind of angry that I did not have any smartphone technology back when I was living in Eskasoni. And I wished I had a job at the age of twenty. I know that I had a lot of educational opportunities in my twenties. And my family have looked out for me all those years. Considering that I was a small "Pocket Hulk" and wanted to get vengeance like Kratos. I knew that I'd climbed people like they were gargantuans who didn't stand a chance.

Thinking that philosophically a native could tell his story through the philosophy of Two-Eye Seeing philosophy, philosophize his life into a good home and social lifestyle where they could talk about different economies and action-oriented goals and milestones.

I know that I lived with options of exchange like barter, bargain or serve. I know that I could choose my methods of payment now because I have a lot of good examples in my life. Technology and level of education, training and driving level where I could work as a full-time employee and have a good deal of money. I have to correct the idea that I'd lived an Subsistence economic lifestyle. I lived where I had a friend who had a good memory about my options. The method of payments which he negotiated was that he uses his financial literacy and help me with my banking options. I don't like to barter but I will try to bargain. And serving is easy.

Well it depends too. I don't think I have any tools to keep that 50 Horseshoe Drive Apartment. I know that if I could get a good job, become fully licensed driver, have my own truck and tools. And get the deeds of that place. I would try to invest into that place.

For legal purposes I would have to go live on Facebook to record the conversation, handing over and transaction of the business deal of renting out my Playstations. I know that I have been thinking to rent out all my Playstations when I get enough joysticks, memory cards and video games. I want to start a little Black bookkeeping business of renting out my Playstations to regular customers. Friends and family first and than stick with that Clientele. I'm going to buy two controllers for each Playstations and one Xbox 360 console. Clean them out and have a good deal of marked video games of my initials or name on the Playstation consoles.

This way I could have legality to my renting business. I could get Kelsey Stevens helping out. And starting a JP Video Game logo. And try to start a brand of my own marketing business and trademark of video game consoles I am renting out.

Take pictures of my Playstation and Xbox 360 consoles of before and after pictures. I know that I had a lot of good reasons to rent out my Playstation one and two. Put a JP Crew/Onelove trademarks and get that copyrighted on that Business App. This will promote good care of the products and awareness of the conditions it was in before and after uses. I know that I could have a Forgiveness policy in place where the renter/customer pays a down-payment for some of the repair work. There will be an inspection of the area that will have my video game consoles. And I know that I will have to mark the name, phone number, email (just in case they want their money back). And their address. That way I could pick up when they are done.

And I could allot the weeks or days to which they play them. Hopefully I don't get any bad reputation from having my Documentations. The live Facebook would promote my business and I could should the best conditions they are in. I know that taking pictures of before and after uses I could prove who takes well care of my things. 

Of course when I write down their name, phone number, address, and email. Which I hope they are honest. I hope that I take pictures of the conditions before and after. That way I don't have any reasons to forget what was what. And I could update my Business portfolio. I could also write down which consoles they have and what game they are using. 

Hopefully I can have a branding of a Pocket Hulk logo and JP Crew/Onelove. Try to teach patience in learning and teach coping skills. Like Flander's Field I have a nickname of Flanders. So have wartime field of a Pocket Hulk with my name and the tone of voice would be a renting business one. 

Anyways I hope that I could copyright my "Ready Poems" and get something going. I know that I don't have any dateability because I know that I don't fit any criteria in women's standards or men's respect. I know that I'm annoying or I disgust the women. Mawita'mk Society has proven that I am an incel for fourteen years. Considering that no woman would ever pick me. I know that my sexuality isn't explored here because of Rosie. I didn't even get a chance to explore my sexuality in Eskasoni. I got to see the dark side but that's about it. I know that I was hated on because bullies love power over situations. 

I know that I have been living without lovers, partners or friends with benefits for fourteen years. I could ideally live my life and stay busy. Knowing my sexual market value; I think I could live with that. I am not a sexy, handsome man. I have no male beauty that would attract a woman. Sleeping around is not my thing. Used to be but I don't think learning my values through meaningless sex is going to keep me sober. To have sex will cost and in this economy I don't think prostitution is out of the question. 

I know that prostitutes will cost. And knowing that I would get full price, sex, intimacy, sensuality and other perks of having a prostitute. I now know why RCMP wants to ban this kind of field. And why dating women hates this kind of job. Pornography, prostitution and maturation. I have options and men have created those options out of sheer will. Women have nothing to give unless they bring something to the table. I know that the toxic narcissistic personality women would shame men in trying to stand up for themselves. And women that think I'm evil, would shun or ignore me psycho-sexually. 

Women can be stubborn, difficult and hard to get laid by. But prostitutes are good-times affable, psycho-sexually affable, and psycho-sexually charming, attractive and skilled in bed. I know that I could touch, grope, or have her sensually touch me. And have my time well spent and still have sex at the end of the night. 

Yeah I could live ideally without a woman because a woman could be narcissistic, bipolar, toxic or unwanted. I know that I'm unwanted paranoid schizophrenic. I know that a woman would try to change me and make me worry about my appearances. A prostitute would accept me in my underwear and would fuck for food. If I had my own place with the deeds, full-time employment, fringe benefits and perks of the job. I know that I could buy a prostitute in my own house. I did not have plenty of women in that 50 Horseshoe Drive Apartment. 

I cannot live a full rich, independent and single life where I have my own place in Eskasoni, have become fully licensed driver and employable worker. I know that I don't have any respect from certain people. And knowing that I did not have any muscular powers to beat them into truth. I know that people could make up lies into truth. And knowing that I had barely any sexual encounters. I know that my step uncles wanted complete dominance over my life. And that's what I'm afraid of, having to deal with them in Eskasoni. And than a whole host of problems.

We'koqma'q community, Mawita'mk Society and family have taught me to fear making a home in Eskasoni. Give it up because of what they've done to me. For years I've forgiven, accepted, healed and moved on. I don't have the benefit in Eskasoni. And most of my enemies in Eskasoni wants me harmed in some fashion. 

I guess they'd wished me to stay because I got the proper support system in We'koqma'q community. And I cannot ever live a full, rich, independent and single life where I could be employable worker in Eskasoni. I know that I never had any vacations, fringe benefits or perks of the job. Knowing that I've been held back most of my life. Learning that was my role in the Morrison family. Stay silent, unearning and stagnant, ignorant, quiescent and stuck. That's been most of my life; not learning anything from my travels. 

I cannot live a full rich, independent and single life where I have my own place. Where I have my own paying job. Where I have my fully licensed driver's license. And knowing that I'm that disabled I know that I'm controlled amd fathomly managed. At Mawita'mk Society it is a regulated, operating and managing group home where I have to be an incel. Knowing that I cannot depend my time how I see fit in getting a job, in getting my full driver's license and truck. Getting my education. 

Besides having a woman is stressful and uneventful. I know that they don't help or have any good advises, can guide or have be a moral support. I know that I don't know how to advise, morally support or guide. I know that I do t have any patience for beadwork. I don't like arts and crafts. 

But that's the thing about being a Role model. You will always have to find positivity in the hardest things. Even a dry spell of dating. I know that I'm not that handsome or handy. But I could learn pretty good. And I know that my stepfather didn't want me to have a self esteem. 

I hate being disabled. There is so much I'd would've done with my life. It's hard being an suffering addict because you don't amount to anything but a low-income kind of economic lifestyle. I know that I hate being disabled because I would've done so much with my time in Eskasoni, We'koqma'q or Chapel Island. I know that I don't catch breaks or have an easy time getting setting up in life. Settling is different. 

It's easy to accept where you are but setting up and trying to do something with my life could prove difficult. I know that I have a few Playstations that I could rent out. And using my Facebook account I could take pictures to uphold accountability. Knowing that people don't want me to think right about my business opportunities. I know that I have to be careful about who I rent out to. 

Social factors have been largely ignored in my life. Knowing that people don't want to believe that there are factors involved in my life. I know that looking within to find a connection with corruption, or desires, have been a learning curve because of works like Dr. Philip Zimbardo, Dr. Richard Bandler, Dr. Gabor Matè and Dr. Marsha Linehan. Reading Dr. Sigmund Freud's work purely as a psychological and historical story of banging the inner head against hell's walls. I know that insight doesn't prove cure. There is some individualistic applicability to us but to a degree. Traumas and addictions can block a person from prospering. 

But learning that Rosie is using me as a pawn in her profession. I know that I'm nothing to the Mawita'mk crew but a client. I know that I don't have any value in real life because I don't have any real skills, or procedural memories. Knowing that I don't have any creativity/practicality where I have a mechanical aptitude. I know that I am not crafty, handy or a hard worker. I know that people would stress me out before giving me a chance. 

I know that I lost sexual opportunities long ago. So I accept that and have to move on. I know that I don't want any added toxic stress in my life. Learning that's what relational influences are all about; who said what and deflecting the most. I know that I don't have any respect, muscular powers or attractiveness. I haven't really made my career in Eskasoni, We'koqma'q, Chapel Island or anywhere in Cape Breton. 

I hate being disabled because I don't get to do anything with my life. Knowing that is a type of disablism and ableism, I know that's also a type of classism. Learning that I don't have any good life in We'koqma'q community. A full rich independent life; I know that I couldn't become independent in Eskasoni because of addicts and schemers. And I had enemies in Eskasoni I couldn't really defend myself against. Trained muscles matters, knowing that I cannot fight or box or do martial arts. I know that I'm hated. 

I hate being disabled because I cannot live a full, rich and independent life where I spend my money on me. I know that I don't want to accept that I'm stuck, stagnant, quiescent and have to accept my disabilities as a limitation, and I have to do Mawita'mk Work Program because I cannot so anything else. I could take pride in my job in Eskasoni. Get job satisfaction and feeling of contribution. I could have that kind of responsibility as a custodian. But I don't have that kind of ISSA-CANADA Cleaning Management Institute courses; I don't have my own place, car and licenses; I don't have any value, significance or meaning in my life where I have a sense of service and purpose from workloads and jobs around the worksite.

I know that I don't have any safety because Dodo would create that kind of discriminatory, manipulated and susceptible state where I am vulnerable. He loves me vulnerable and weak. I know that the guy hates me. What's the difference between control and discipline? Control is a personal power imbalanced and somebody's dominance in my life. Discipline is self developmental training that focuses me and gets the habits into a routine. 

Self discipline is the ability to control one's feelings and overcome one's weaknesses. Self control is always at odds with desires. Self control is an aspect of inhibitory control, one of the core executive functions. Executive functions are the cognitive processes that are necessary for regulating ones behaviors in order to achieve specific goals. 

Defined more independently, self-control is the ability to regulate one's emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in the face of temptations and impulses. I was taught the old school willpower, volition and behaviors. Knowing that I had to lose personal powers, I know there was a power imbalace personally. People would want me to practice self control in face of them dominating me. And facing self discipline issues, I know that I don't have any respect. Remembering that I don't have any muscular powers or physical attributes or attractiveness. 

I could overcome my own weaknesses and work within my own realm of possibilities. I know that I don't travel the world because it's way too hard. And having to protect and take certain medications because of different diseases. I know that I don't have any reasons to travel the world. Apparently there isn't any special interests in single guy travel with disabilities. 

Through Dr. Richard Bandler's works I could learn to do certain things in my life. Make my heaven better; dress it up with a more neurolinguistic understanding. I know that I had missed reading opportunities in my life. Learning that people don't want to read. I know that I have a lot of Redemptive works to do. And forgiveness prayers and faith-driven projects. 

I know that I know what's right and what's wrong. Mostly by trial and error but too gaining my common sense through my step uncle. I knew that they're were going to cheat with each other. And knowing that I did not have any pictures back then. I knew that my mind would be there playground. Knowing that my little eyes have witnessed a breaking of vows. I know that I don't think my biological mother was going to leave me in wordless confusion. I know that is enantiodroma and wordless confusion. Feeling that I had barely sexual explorations; I know that I'm ugly. 

Personal power is a combination of inner qualities, such as values, beliefs, principles, philosophies, attitudes, mentalities, and ideas, and the external resources, such as knowledge, skills, perceptions and experiences. I know that understanding and using these resources and inner qualities have a good impact in achieving goals and improving productivity. Taking pride in my body by boosting up my self esteem, through fitness knowledge and experience. 

Personal power is the source of strength, assertiveness, energy and leadership in your own life where intelligence and independence are based on knowledge, wisdom and experience. Personal leadership is the ownership of initiatives, routines and sensible lifestyle. I know that I don't have any respect in the real world. Self discipline is part of Personal development. And learning self control in ways where I practice forbearance. 

I know that I have personal power, self discipline and routine in my life. I know that good mornings are common here. I know that in darkness I was supposed to die in. But I have so much grief over the years; sadden grief to graduations grief. I know that I'd cried happy tears when I got my own place. Where happiness in my home was growing from routine, personal power, self development and discipline. I know that I was growing happy I'm my old place. I just needed to keep take caring of things. 

It seems that everywhere I go I cannot stand up for myself. Knowing that certain people don't want me to stand up for myself. Maugit wanted me to stand up for myself. I know that I couldn't really prove that I have independence unless I stand up for myself. Ownership of my personal leadership is having responsibilities, accountability and commitment to a sense of good routine and habits. I know that people don't want me to stand up for myself.