Hope and Milestones

I know that it all is a struggle to get a good woman that I want. I know that the future isn't going anywhere but I have to keep going through the processions of days and make progressive baby steps. I know that I've been living in this Mawita'mk Society and my sister don't think it's a right fit for me to get my driver's license. I feel it and I could sense that much anxiety from her when I am near. Control freaks always have a hard time letting go. I should know because I tried to control my siblings.

All My life I've been this lone leader where I never had any real lover. I never fell in love and I never had any love cone after me. I know that my cousin Ray had many women go after him. And I know that he has more sex than me. I don't get any at all. I couldn't enjoy my twenties and I cannot enjoy my thirties. I am stuck with Mawita'mk Society and I cannot go back home.

I've made it on Rosie Basque's shit-list. I cannot get off of it and I cannot move back to my hometown apartment that's hers. My family won't help out and I cannot get my driver's license. But in my future I think I will get my driver's license because Billie Jean will help out. I know that I've been negative and I have to flip the thought where I look at the opposite side of that. And cone back swinging. I know that I could reach milestones in my life. I know that I am making headway in my life where I am progressing and moving forward.

In my future I hope that I could get many Plumbing papers and counseling Certificates to Accreditations. I want to get a lot of success in my life where I have plenty of incomes, networking of professionals and workers, volunteers and non-profits. I want to get a good networking of information and influence.

I know that I want to learn techniques from Mike MacInnis where I flip my thoughts every time I think of negative stuff. I am learning to accept and move forward in my life where I have to make headway and progress into the future. I know that I need to move forward and live my life healthily.

We all have an inherent negative bias and I know that we learn all this. Our fears of failure is what makes us scare of the future. And I know that I have to keep positive in my life. I know that in DBT there is opposite action where I feel lazy but I do it anyway out of being opposite of my thoughts. Same goes for opposite thinking, if you're thinking negatively you will have to flip that thought and do the opposite actions of those thoughts to inspire good, positive and healthy lifestyles, thoughts, responsible feelings and a good vibing. I know that I'd lost friends but I want to extend my condolences to the family.

I know that Rita Joe lost her grandson bit he is in heaven and better living the other life, the afterlife. I feel that I cannot make it to Curtis Bernard's funeral because I know nobody is going there. And there is this Covid-19 pandemic. I know that I cannot make it because I am not really wanted in Eskasoni. I have enemies( bullies) in my life where I am a discriminated and disabled nerd that they want to bitch around.

I know that I'm an old warrior leader who I'd humble and keeping it real. I know that I need to have finesse and skills in Leadership. I have been refined so good to have common sense, to have concrete evidence or finesse. I know that I got diplomatic skills, social skills and a good understanding of things. But my sister seem to think that she knows everything of me. I have tricked and disinformed and deceive. I have manipulated and lied in so many ways.

But at the same time I needed help and my leadership was taking hold of the situation. I have failed 2010. I know this and I have to accept that in my life. I learn from failures and I am learning to be humble, learning that I could re-evaluate my situation now and appreciate, value and cherish this experience. I've learned to accept my disabilities and keep on trucking on. I know that it's been eleven years here and I know that I've learned emotional intelligence through relationships and therapy, coping skills and strategies.

I am learning to work with everything I need to in Mawita'mk Society. And I am grateful that I have a good team of Mawita'mk Staff and board members. I feel a good appreciation for the understanding and comprehension from them. And I know that I'll need to show my appreciation through my work. So, I hope that I could enjoy the job at Mawita'mk Work Program.

In 2015 I've graduated from ALP, a milestone for Adult High School educational environment. And in 2016 I've graduated from NSCC Construction Trades Labor program and got a lot of tickets and training. I got cards and I got trade reminders. I got a lot of training I should've demonstrated with Ron Kehoe. But my memory wasn't too good and I think it was oppressed by my stepfather. A trade milestone in my life.

In 2018 I've graduated from We'koqma'q Adult Essential Skills Enhancement Program and in 2019 I've graduated from We'koqma'q Men's Wellness program. In 2020 I've graduated from Unama'ki Driving School and in this year, I've graduated from Eskasoni Online Wellness program. So, a few milestones in my pocket. I want another few big milestones under my belt. Hopefully, I can get something graduated in Cape Breton University's Bachelor of Arts program.

I've postponed my education until further notices. I am hoping to get back to classes and get into funding with Eskasoni School Board. I had good times and I had bad times in Eskasoni. I've had healing moments and the struggle to move on. I feel like I am just learning to move forward in my life. To keep trucking on and forgiven many people.

We have a full house now. But I don't think I can put her on my blog. But anyways, it feels much fuller and better. It feels richer in ways. 

And I know that I'll enjoy all this. I've had milestones in my life but hopefully, I'll be making headway in the future. And getting progress and educational accomplishments. I know that I love Star Trek franchise and Star Wars Franchise. I know that it's all about diversity, variety of interests and differences in species, life on this planet and biodiversity. I feel happy and I know that I'll have to wait my turn in eating.

I've lived a life of good and bad in Eskasoni. I've gone through many heibg experiences and professional help. I know there limitations and I know that I don't have any protection in Eskasoni if I do move. I know that I cannot participate in a cultural community where it's violent and lustful. Where violence is in their sex.

I want to be well immersed into outdoor fitness and activities in Cape Breton. I want to be the professional Outdoorsman who has survival skills, techie skills and life skills. I want to figure stuff out like Borne Identity or Sherlock Holmes. I have medical knowledge but to a limit of a health history buff. I know that I'm a renal patient for 26 years. I started out in 1995 when I first lost my kidney. And I am an old warrior leader and veteran renal patient. I don't want to be but I am kind of proud of that. I feel that I had tons of life experiences in my time with the Transplant.

When I have reached a professional and educational milestones I'm my life where I have counseling Certificates, Accreditations and degrees. Where I have Plumbing papers and cooking papers. Where I have become the most employable person in We'koqma'q community where I have tons of credentials and ISSA-CANADA Cleaning Management Institute credentials. Where I have Retail Council of Canada Certificates. And I have a rich wall of John Peter's Credentials.

That's when I made myself a integral, crucial and essential part of Mawita'mk Work Program and have made my monies in We'koqma'q community. That's when I could get advanced driving Certificate and become fully licensed driver. When I gave my car, careers and incomes. When I've made a network of connections and favors. That'd when I could move. Hopefully, I can make a good impression on Rosie Basque. 

I know that I want to move back when I have all these rewards, Accreditations and recognition Certificates. I hope that I could get a lot of good things in my life where I have a Two Walls of Credentials, Rewards and Recognitions. I want to be noticed in We'koqma'q community and all over for my Plumbing, cooking and counseling. 

When I got my second kidney, driver's license and ten years of driving experience in We'koqma'q community and Cape Breton. When I have a Firefighter's outdoor muscular fitness and a Certificate from Nova Scotia Firefighter School. When I have fully lived to my fullest in immersed outdoor cultures and Adventures. When I have reached milestones in being the most active and well trained plumber, Firefighter, Medical Responder/Medical Officer, a cook mechanic and a counselor. When I have reached these milestones in my life and made a network political connections and ties, to a network of professional connections and volunteer connections. When I have won scholarships for my Master's degree program and doctoral program. When I have build, made and lived a good life in We'koqma'q community that's when I will move back to my old apartment or look for an apartment in Eskasoni.