Experience and Memory

We are a linear existence with a mind of imagination and thoughts. We know that the brain and creativity could be a philosophy but I know that we are the creatures of Two-Eye Seeing philosophy and the Medicine Wheel. 

The seven sacred teachings are humility, respect, truth, honesty, love, courage and wisdom. I was taught that we have to be a fighter in ways of diplomacy, teaching, coping and family values. Our virtues are what guides us as a good warrior and leader of our own lives. Even though we have our own leadership because we are more than the sum of our experience.

Are we more than a computation? Are our minds could do more than simple computation? Are we flesh and bone, some percentage of water and blood. Are we full of souls? Meaning? Emotion? The Science is just starting to realize what Natives known for years.

The philosophical notions of creative intelligence, of that what our personal creations are, is a part of our love and passion. What I know that I cannot publish my poems because I know that I have been looking for the kind of professional creator's experience and training with media and public. I know that I have wrote 26 years of poetry and I know that time is linear. It keeps going forward and with Two-Eye Seeing philosophy we are taught that we have one eye on the past while the other on the present or future.

This could be used to keep one eye on the traditional and one eye on the future. To make mesning is to create emotional intelligence through relationships and therapy to clear out the gunk. And I know that we have to work on certain aspects of my life as Indigenous being. I am a sentient, intelligent and conscious being that lives with Two-Eye.

I know that we have been created by the miracles of birth and the inventions or figuring out facts in science. There is a struggle in Canada that would bring the government, The Vatican and RCMP to the International criminal courts and charge them with Crimes Against Humanity, Crimes of Aggression, Genocide, and war crimes.

We have been in warlike situations like racial terrorism through hate crimes, wilful ignorance and discrimination. These types of reality-based, linear existential kind of understanding is what works off of stereotypes and prejudice, bigotry and hate. 

They want their world to be innocent and not decolonized because they cannot stand it. They have to keep that illusion up. Instead of learning which is multifaceted, I say that they want to frustrate me and be willfully ignorant and hateful. I know that I have learned a lot and yes, I don't know their pedigree.

We have got along together, one time ago. I don't see why it cannot pull through and work things out. Remember we want to share the land and the Treaties. We want to build a creative nation known now by settlers as Canada. We want to work at steps of educating and informing, explaining and sharing knowledge of our shared histories. I know that criminals react from shame or anger. Because they truly believe that they didn't do nothing. I know that we are creatures or species called human beings. And we could create Modern Treaties and

We could work towards enlightening the nation of Native reality of struggles to independence. I know that I'm not that well liked in Eskasoni because I have bullies in there. A few bad eggs that want to trap me in  a cycle of trauma and dysfunctionality. I have bossy people that want to control and leave me poor.

But I know that I am self-directed but I don't have that willingness to prove it to Mawita'mk Society because they will take credit for what my parents taught. I know that Mawita'mk Society reminded me that there are life skills but I know that I am at a ideal location to read much as I can, to learn what I need to in order to understand today's society. I know there is much I need to understand and memorize.

I know that I lived through many different stages of addictions and traumas in my life that I know that I was too vulnerable. I have to work on saying no, being assertive and leading my own life. I want to take the initiative and be a early morning day self-starter. I want to start my days early in the morning and get my life into a good sleep routine. But I know that I have to put efforts into creating routines at Mawita'mk Society and getting educated through Cape Breton University.

If you were taught the stereotypes of Natives then you know that you are a racist. Because what is embedded in you is the teachings in your upbringing where you were taught to think in a certain way about First Nations. We are recognized the inhabitants of Canada and we are recognized in so many ways. That we have to be working hard and strong for Reconciliation.

Especially through business, economic conditions and infrastructural developments. I know that my Mi'kma'ki is growing and developing. And I got books for relationships, First Nation history, Indigenous business and Native philosophy. If any or anybody listening or reading, I have all sorts of books on my people and First Nations. Considering that I know there is a lot of written knowledge to yet, be typed and published. I know that there should be commentators in books about Mi'kmaq and First Nations.

I know that they need education and written knowledge about Mi'kmaq and Indigenous people. I have a small library of books, encyclopedias, PDFs, eBooks, magazines, comic books, dictionaries, articles, printouts and audiobooks of all sorts of subjects, history, culture, science, philosophy and creativity. I know that I have tons of options to listen and read. I know that I could get a good book, audiobook, pdf, eBook, magazine, dictionary, language apps, and article. I could learn a lot if I had the time to read and listen to all this. Studious is seriously enjoying learning, reading and doing recreational studies and researches.

Plus I got Internet articles and entries online that I could go through. So, I'm pretty good with today's updates of a modern man's life of reading, listening and writing. I know that I want to be a good skilled, knowledgeable and educated counselor.

I know that I have read some stuff to an extent of a books, encyclopedias, eBooks, magazines, comic books, pdfs, audiobooks, articles, entries, printouts, dictionaries and language apps. I've learned that racism is strong prejudice used to justify the belief that one racial category is somehow superior or inferior to others. It is also a set practices used by a racial majority to disadvantaged a racial minority. Our people are the fastest and largest growing population in the world.

But I know that systematic racism is the ordinances, rulings and statutes that give rights, treatment and preferred economic conditions and resources to a Non-indigenous people while we suffer the consequences of the systematic torments of the government. We hadn't had any good relationships since the contact. Settlers are allies, I recognized that but I know that I have anger towards this systematic racism.

Systemic discrimination could be described as patterns of behavior, policies and practices that are part of the structures of an organization, government, religion or other entities that create or perpetuate disadvantages to First Nations, Mètis and Inuit peoples.

It works off of stereotypes which are oversimplified generalizations about First Nations, Mètis and Inuit peoples. Stereotypes can be based on gender, sexual orientations, age, race, disability, sex- pretty much any characteristics of a person or group.

I know that prejudice is the beliefs, thoughts, feelings and attitudes Non-indigenous have about First Nations, Mètis and Inuit peoples. 

Prejudice isn't actual experience but a prejudgment outside of the rural or urban First Nations, Mètis and Inuit communities. I know that there is a lot of work to be done.
I want to be in the future where we have reconciled and better understand our situation, linear existence and national struggles to moving forward. All we have is time on our hands and I know that we have to work for Reconciliation steps to keep moving forward together. I know it's hard to wake up to the truth and realized that we are living with a deep hate in the fabric of society. 

That's institutionalized racism that we have to deal with in society and learn how systematic racism( entities) and institutionalized racism( society, racial socialization, school stratifications) have affected our truer realities as true peacekeepers, civic guardians and affable people. We will step with you if you acknowledge our emotional cues of healing and growing with you over the years.

It has been 2010 since the TRC has been implemented.

I know that my stepgrandmother doesn't have respect for leaders in our communities because they are trying to create a nursing home for Natives. She is white but she has a lot of knowledge about us. I even believe that she could speak the language. I know that she has a stereotypes about our band chief and council of Eskasoni. I know that she doesn't understand how it all works. Well let me tell you. They have no powers because they would've put back hereditary chief status and lead the people to a more united, shared and linear co-existence of living this life.

But my hometown is growing and I had a lot of good memories in Eskasoni. I know that I'd enjoyed collecting pop bottles and being on welfare. I know that I kept busy until Welfare or try to. And I know that I spent my days searching for bottles, cans and beer and glass bottles. I would organize them in boxes and bags.

I know that I did that and I enjoyed it. I got used of the walking distance and I know there was odd jobs I could do, chores, errands and building. I know that I could do it now and move back to my old place. At the side of that apartment put a shed for laundry machines like Spacemaker Washer and Dryer. And use it for hanging my clothes and detergent in there. I know that I'll need Al Gould's electrician and I'll need a plumber to hook up those Spacemaker Washer and Dryer.

But that's if I do get my second kidney. So many possibilities in my mind, thinking I'd  could get that second kidney. I would be better off living my life in Eskasoni. But I know that I could make this my second home and build a good reputation of collecting pop bottles, beer bottles, cans and glass bottles. I could hustle and get my life busy. Every Thursday I'll be getting comfort allowance.

I get Direct Deposits from GST and Comfort Allowances. Every three months I get GST but I know that I want to get better pay. I could do certain things at We'koqma'q community and get a good thing going for me here. Make Mawita'mk Society my second home. I know that I'm struggling to get motivated every day to have the wont to do something. I know that I had morality struggles and crises of conscience. But I know that nobody believes Mr when I say that I was addicted to gas in my early childhood. And still learned the good way.

Right now I'm writing about past morality struggles as a past materials of Native nerd life. I know that I had struggles of addictions, discriminations, stereotypes, traumas as punishments, hypersexuality, compounded grief and violence. I know that I've learned emotional intelligence through relationships and therapy.