My Old Apartment, Maybe

I know that I want my old apartment in Eskasoni back, on Horseshoe Drive. I hope that I could get a good momentum in careers from We'koqma'q community for couple years. I know that I want to form professional, personal and community networkings on my Facebook, LinkedIn page and with Instagram and Twitter and Tumblr apps. I want to have every professional Tradespeople, professionals and workers and staff people from We'koqma'q. I want to have every possible options to work and drive.

I want to have a lot of good experiences of jobs over the years, schooling and training. And driving experience. I want to have everything I need to exercise and workout. I want to have adventures and outdoor recreational activities to post. I want to have everything in We'koqma'q community where I drive to out of We'koqma'q community and move back.

I want to have many credentials, job experience, full driver's license, Certificates and licenses. I want to have job experiences, outdoor adventures and outdoor recreational activities. I want to be experienced hunter, fisher and trapper. I want to be an exceptional Outdoorsman and experienced in every outdoor activities that I have builder's experience, driving experience, graduations from NSCC School of Trades and Technology plumbing Certificate program and CBU Bachelor of Arts program. I want to have many job experiences as I can before I do move. 

I'm struggling to find roles in this community. I want to have credentials hanging on my wall in the future. My other free wall. I want to get professional Certificates, Red Seal papers and degrees hanging on my wall. I want to have many professional credentials and live my life with all I need in this community. I know that I'm not that attractive.

I don't get help in driving goals, schooling goals but now I'm about to get that help from Andrea Currie. She has been my therapist since I came here. And I know that she is my therapist again. I feel that I'm going to get help with driving goals, job prospects and schooling. I know that I don't get any professional respect or personal respect from people. But I know that I'm trying to work for it. I was deindividuated and denied ecomonic opportunities to get my BA degree in CBU. And I don't receive any training for driving or other things I wouldn't mind doing. There is strict regulations and rules that I have to abide by. And nobody wants me to succeed in purchasing my own car.

I know that I cannot get any help from this community because it isn't my hometown community. This place has kept me in a limbo of dependency and reliance on Mawita'mk Society. I am not independent.

I know that I am paranoid schizophrenic and have other disabilities. I feel that it would be easier if I stay here because I don't have any good reputation in Eskasoni, I think. I am a bitch in that community. And I don't have any humane treatments in that aspect. I know that I've learned coping skills like emotional intelligence, emotional literacy, emotion attunement, mindfulness, emotion regulation and other skills that I have. Like Distress Tolerance and Interpersonal Effectiveness. I know that I use humor as a good medicine. And I know there is more skills that I need to master.

I know that I'll make a perfect target for bullying in Eskasoni. I know that I am not really formidable in any fashion or way. I know that my groceries and other things have been stolen when I used to be on my own in Eskasoni. I know that if I want my own apartment, I have to get it.

I know that I have my Beginner's license to renew. And I know that I got my Unama'ki Driving Certificate. I feel that I could work at driving and working. I know that I need to stay here until I can get my second kidney, full driver's license, physical fitness and BA degree. I feel that it's rich opportunities to work at all this. And learning that I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, I felt that I needed new icons to look up to. And find people that have disabilities like me.

Feeling that I have been learning about Dr. Marsha Linehan and her struggles. I know that I need to read her autobiography. People wouldn't look for people like this because of Indian Residential School issues and the teachings we have received over the years. Spending many years with Mawita'mk Society, I feel that I've learned about people that have made it. I know that I got books to read and research.

The idea that I'm intelligent isn't what I think of myself. Or either I wouldn't of read these books. I know that I need to read my books because I have to learn the storylines of these people. And learning that I need my books, I hope that I could read them in due time. I am nearly through Trauma and Addiction book from Dr. Tian Dayton. And I'm reading First Nations, Identity and Reserve Life from Dr. Simone Poliandri.

Heavy subjects are my life because I have a lot of culture, tradition, heritage, history and coping skills. I know that I want to finish these two books because I have been working on them. I have started Rise Again! The Story of Cape Breton Island book one. And I have started again, We Were Not The Savages by Dr. Daniel N. Paul. I know there is books I want to read and there are books I want to finish. I imagine myself finishing most of my books at times.

Feeling that I've learned a lot from my books. I could get used of reading heavy books and eBooks. I know that is what I want to do, get used of reading heavy books. Learning from all that I could say that the coping skills I have, have been important for my endurance to read these books. The heavy subjects like Trauma and Addiction is an interesting take on an important work of psychological literature and knowledge. I know that I need to read my books with psychological values and techniques. Feeling that I have a rich personal library for personal growth and enhancement, I feel pretty good about all this.

I just have to get my second kidney and full driver's license. I know that I'm still trying to develop my personal growth in We'koqma'q community where I have my full driver's license and BA degree. And have my physical fitness until I can get my muscular fitness. I feel that I could learn mixed martial arts.

Knowing that I want to have everything I need to work, drive and learn. I feel that I have a good life in We'koqma'q community. Learning that nobody trusted me here, I have to learn how to deal with certain people. I want to move when I'm good and ready to move. 

That's when I have job experiences that I could feel comfortable with. And a good experience in Cape Breton adventures and outdoor recreational activities. I want to have professional Certificates and credentials. And learn much as I can with plumbing, cleaning and cooking. I want to have a good careers of plumbing, cleaning and cooking where I have my BA degree triple majoring in Psychology, Political Science and Mi'kmaq Studies.

I want to have my full driver's license and BA degree where I could have careers in professional jobs like cleaning, cooking and plumbing. I want to get those professional Certificates and get my Red Seal diplomas.

I want to get my full driver's license, BA degree, Professional Certificates in plumbing, cooking and cleaning. And get used of advocating for my own services. I want to read my books about marketing and entrepreneurship and other things. I want to get used of being my own seller and advocate for my services like that. I want to be skilled in selling my business and service. I want to get my full driver's license and BA degree where I can get my Professional Certificates in plumbing and cooking, and cleaning from NSCC School of Trades and Technology and ISSA-CANADA Cleaning Management Institute.

Once I do get all these credentials and licenses. I think I would move out because I have financial independence and autonomy. I want to have my own entertainment center and keep my dresser. I want to have everything I need to work and drive.
I want to have a car or truck before I leave. 

Hopefully, I can get my own vehicles where I have my tools and online accounts. And have my licenses and Certificates, registrations and credentials where I have professional careers and experience in We'koqma'q outdoor activities. 

I want to make We'koqma'q community the best damn place I've lived that I had experience with building, assembling, painting, plumbing, cleaning and cooking with friends. I know that I want to be elite and excellent with everything I do. I want to be a Seasoned Veteran Outdoorsman and Worker where I have jobs, car or truck purchases posted and pictures of my outdoor adventures. I want to have my full driver's license and BA degree where I have posted my education. 

I want to make We'koqma'q community the best damn place I've worked, exercised and driven. I want to make We'koqma'q community my homebase where I have all my stuff, things and credentials where I have a good reputation for working, driving and living. I want to have my life together in that fashion that I have my full driver's license, BA degree, NSCC Plumbing Certificate and NSCC Cooking Certificate. And my ISSA-CANADA Cleaning Management Institute Certificate Custodial Technician Training.