If I'd Moved Back

I know that I've learned about jobs being equal from my stepfather, counselors, cultural support workers, authors like Kahil Gibran and others who have commented on labor dispute. I've learned about the Dignity of Labour philosophy which says the types of jobs in this socioeconomic environment known as homeland, is the philosophy that all types of job are respected equally, and no occupation or profession or work or job is considered superior and none of the jobs, occupations, professions and fields should be discriminated on base on any criteria or any basis. Regardless of whether one's occupation involves physical work or mental labor, it is held that the job deserves respect.

There are social reformers like Basava and contemporary Sharanas, and Mahatma Gandhi, who advocated and resisted through civil disobedience. It was major themes in Christian ethics and my Roman Catholic.

I know that if I'd moved back I would try to get disability benefits from my caseworker. I know that I need to move where I am safe. In Eskasoni that would be impossible and I would have to go some other place. I've collected pop bottles for a living and I did odd jobs for the family. I know that I did not know how much I needed Mawita'mk Society in my life. I know that I need to go to appointments in Sydney. But now I'm educated tradesman with a Unama'ki Driving Certificate and expired Beginner's license. I know that I could get a job in Eskasoni but I am on dialysis, so I would be stuck on welfare.

Mawita'mk Society's care has disability benefits that are fitted for a king. They have transportation, life skills education, cultural arts and crafts, traditional medicine, drum-making, Mawita'mk Work Program, support staff, Communications bundle(WiFi, cable and homephone).

The day that never comes is the day that I won't be able to be innocent. I am a crazy and my story is just as crazy as the next person. When everyone is after your ideas or poetry, and don't have anything better to do. Today I would have compassion for those who suffer alone. I know that they have mental disorders and mood disorders. I feel that I hadn't any perspective on being truthful. I know that I've suffered alone with the abusers. My life is both extremely horrible and good. Because of intergenerational impacts I had, I had to take most of the brunts. And I know damn well the day that never comes for me is still waiting.

The unfortunately unforgiven is what I am, the poorest damned. And I don't think that I would be able to build a family life. A cycle of addictions is a darkness that never goes away. My sobriety means my health. I never had the chance to get my Doctorate. And I don't think I will become something positive.

I know that I need to live here until I can get my second transplant kidney. And then get my job at We'koqma'q Tim Hortons and save up for a truck. I know that I don't get much self-control from my family. I feel that I had a bunch more time in We'koqma'q community. Even though I am poor, I have to keep researching, reading and study my books, encyclopedias, PDFs, eBooks, magazines, comic books and listen to my audiobooks.

But today is an example of how Mawita'mk can be useful for me. Serve my needs as a disabled person and bring me to my appointment. Today, with Clyde I was going to my dental hygienist. And there was three staff, the house workers who prepared me and got me ready. And the driver who has provided company( someone to talk to) and Clyde who I owed $12 for coffee and lunch. This morning I was well prepared to get ready because of Connie and Kendra.

They have worked to get me ready. And I know that I don't need to be told to get ready, it should be instinct by now. But I know that I want to be able to figure out my own messes. I want to be a educated, Virgo tradesman that has a sense of organization, neatness, tidiness and cleanliness. I know that I'm more happy when I'm independent at Mawita'mk Society. I know that I would enjoy my sense of freedom and independence. I know that I am learning about my hometown. The infrastructure, the websites, the latest developments and the self-sustainable infrastructure of a large community. My family don't need anyone in driving.

I know that I couldn't really rely on family because I hadn't really earned my rides. I know that I used to earn my way through pop bottles, doing odd jobs and repair works. I know that I have learned flooring, carpentry, building, planting, installing skills, diplomacy.

I've learned emotional intelligence, emotional literacy and emotional regulation from my therapists, stepfather and so many others. I know that I needed to work the traumas I've had and live with a good amount of support and guidance. I know that I've learned a lot of cultural teachings, Catholic social teachings and family teachings. After I was addicted and traumatized. My childhood addiction was causing considerable consequences and left me in an empty void.

Thankfully, I had the freedom to pursue Catholic social teachings and Mi'kmaq culture. I've incorporated some of the seven sacred teachings and forgiveness and compassion from Catholicism. I know that is how I could feel for my comforts. I know that now I'm inverted and I have to go Eskasoni to get back my darken emotional sanity. I feel that I was tempted over the years where I wanted to drink and smoke up.

I know that I've learned that I'm only human and with a sentience, intelligence and emotion regulation. I feel that I could go back home and live my life there. I have some friends there. I know that I want my sense of independence and freedom. I know that now I have to take better care of myself through hygiene practices, domestic routines and personal physical habits. I know that I have a good group home. I know that I have flexibility and accessibility to school, colleges, universities and jobs. I know that I could get my full driver's license but not right now because I have a happy status quo.

I know that I am happy where I am at. Knowing that Eskasoni is my hometown, I could always forgive and heal. I know that I am damned, poor but educated Virgo tradesman. I know that I've learned culture and coping strategies. I know that I have a good life at We'koqma'q community.

I know that Catholic social teachings and Mi'kmaq culture have similarities. I was never poor in a sense of family, culture and Dignity of labor. I know that I had that in strides. But while I was in Eskasoni I was mentally declining. Which meant I was malnourished, addicted and traumatized. The life skills physical habits wouldn't of saved me. I know that I'm in the wrong and I have to learn to cope, live and deal with the shame. I'm still learning about healthy relationship dynamics and coping skills through books.

I could live here, reading books, encyclopedias, PDFs, eBooks and listen to my audiobooks. I know that I have a rich library on my phone and bookshelves. But lately I don't have the energy to do it. I was a child addict who was sober for a little while. And became a teen addict who had moments of sobriety. And was sober for a while. And went back to the weed.

I was a young adult who was in my twenties, having weed as a grocery list and cigarettes. 

That would be my sense of purpose that would make me get up and go to work. Without the Dignity of Labour I wouldn't have anything to my name from Eskasoni. I know that I was an unofficial handyman and uncertified butler. I know there are Professional/College Certificates I could get that would make me Professional. Of course I was discriminated against by Rosie and Leonard Paul. Rosie Basque professionally discriminated against me because I couldn't get a job anywhere. Until Eskasoni Public Works offered me a job.

Even that I could've done for a little while. I know that I want to be fully licensed driver as a Pipe Specialist with a BA degree and truck. I know that I'm Certified driver with an expired Beginner's license. I did wonders in Plumbing portion of my Construction Trades Labor.

Work is visble efforts and love of the job is job satisfaction, enjoyments and fulfilling job satisfaction of such potentials of the day. We have accomplished the daily chores, hygiene habits and routines of work. That we have those perks of the job. That we take viable and visible pride in our job of daily efforts. Waking up for the daily efforts with pride, sense of purpose and service. And a sense of humor and love of the job. Work occupies the mind once oriented. And I know that I want to enjoy the pride, perks and job satisfaction from my own hands.

I know that I need to get a job because I have bills to pay. My real father doesn't understand I am a grown man with decision-making capabilities. And in that I have human rights. He doesn't treat me like that, he still treats me like a child. Who doesn't have any bills or spending habits. My birth father could keep his money.

He never knew how much I could make. Now and days $15 an hour is minimum wage order. And there isn't any more job discriminations going to happen. I know that there isn't anymore inexperienced to experienced wages. It's $13.60 in October 1st, 2022. That would follow $14.30 per hour for April 1st, 2023. That would follow $14.65 per hour in October 1st, 2023. And finally, $15.00 per hour in April 1st, 2024. A good income for now. It's good to have a job because I could earn a good living. But I know that I am on dialysis right now and I cannot work right now. I have to wait until I can get my second transplant kidney.

This 2021st is my first year with dialysis. I know that I want to have everything I need to function. A full driver's license, a job, a second transplant kidney and truck. I could make this life better here. I know that I want to have my full driver's license.

I know that I'd missed living in Eskasoni but those moments usually pass. I feel that here I have a richer life than Eskasoni. I know that I don't need any precautions in We'koqma'q community. I know that I don't have to worry about safety, money or thefts. I know that my stuff is safe. Every time I think of Eskasoni all I ever think about is the bad and worst. I know that I've moved out but I couldn't really express myself how I wanted to. 

I heard it was violent living in Eskasoni now. I know that now isn't a good idea to move because of Covid-19 pandemic and overcrowding in Eskasoni. I know that I've had tons of opportunities in Eskasoni to get my education. I was in Eskasoni for 7 years and had, on my own bad experiences. I know that there wasn't any milestones in my time in Eskasoni. And the total 7 years in Eskasoni was hell, I've managed to look at that hell as home. And enjoy good moments in my old apartments.