My Second Chance(My Dream Position)

I want to be two time NSCC graduate from NSCC Plumbing Certificate program and NSCC Pipe Trade diploma program. I want to be a BA graduate with triple majors in Psychology, Political Science and Mi'kmaq Studies. My dream position is to be a good influence in the community with the Intergenerational impacts of my family. I know that I want to be economically adjusted like this with a 25-year career in being a Pipe Specialist. With a understanding of Mi'kmaq politicking and how it works to have a good salary in the city. I know that I want to be a good, positive influence and have a good leadership, governance in my Red Seal program, and have a good understanding and positivity in being a good Pipe specialist.

I could live in places like New York city or Sydney, Cape Breton. I know that I want to have my credentials like ISSA-CANADA Cleaning Management Institute's Custodial Technician Training Certificate.

I know that I could be a Cleaning Pipe Specialist with a BA degree and a full driver's license. I want to have my own business truck with new stuff like heaters, Satellite radio and a good insulation. I know that I want to thrive in my own truck where I have a brand new truck. I feel that I could get a good clientele in Halifax and have a good 10-year career in Halifax. I know that I would have my Red Seal papers in Plumbing, Steamfitting/Pipefitting and Sprinkler System technician. And have my expert level of Certification by ISSA-CANADA Cleaning Management Institute.

I know that I want to be skilled Pipe specialist with a BA degree and full driver's license. And have most of my business out of my own truck. I feel that I could get a good holistic elevation to this kind of position. Have a good understanding of pipes and water. I want to understand the biophysics of water.

I know the first thing I will do when I do get my second transplant kidney is to get a job in Eskasoni Tim Hortons and work up my money to save for a truck. But I know that I could learn to live again, outside of Mawita'mk Society's care. And get re-adjusted to the professional culture of Eskasoni. And have my life built in Eskasoni where I'm thriving, always in contact with Mawita'mk workers. And have a good understanding of the Certificate program from Eskasoni Tim Hortons. It's a Food Handler's course which I could get from Mawita'mk Society.

Mawita'mk Society already gave me my second chance to get my education, trade skills and Beginner’s license. But I'm afraid that I have to take a break for a little while before I do continue with my goals. I know that I want to work on my full driver's license and job. I want to save up for a truck.

I want to be able to buy a suit and tie and get myself to a fancy party, or a good party and enjoy myself with my music. I know that I've learned emotional intelligence through my hometown Schools, churches and family. And I've learned emotional intelligence through relationships and therapy over the years. I know that I've done a lot of redemptive works and compassionate works. And I know that I need to be strong enough to continue with my dialysis.

But I could talk about being independent all I want, I still have to take it easy because I'm on dialysis. I know that I want to move to Halifax. But apparently I am not skilled or street smart. Having the experience and knowledge to identify the potential difficulties or dangers in an urban environment is what I have. I know a thing or two with learning the differences in my life. I know a thing or two living by myself.

I know that my stepfather don't want me to move out but I feel that I could do better on my own if I had my own job, income, full driver's license and truck. I know that is the first thing I will work on: my full driver's license, saving up for my truck and having my own apartment in Eskasoni. Of course, it would take a course of 15 years because I need time for my second transplant kidney to be implanted in me. I have all this social media I should've had while I lived in Eskasoni. And I should've had a smartphone and online banking. I know that I wanted to have the easier access to online shopping.

But I know that I couldn't because I did not have any Civic address like the one I used to had while living at Eskasoni, 74th street, Horseshoe Drive 50. I know that I could've enjoyed the shed that had plumbing and electrical in it for Spacemaker Washer and Dryer.

Over the years I've put considerable things on my Facebook. I want to post my first brand new truck but first I want to get my job and full driver's license after I get my second transplant kidney. I have a LinkedIn profile, I have put considerable pictures on my LinkedIn profile. And I have Tumblr page with considerable life experiences with Mawita'mk Society. I know that I have Twitter account and Facebook account. I have Instagram account too. And I have put considerable pictures and writings on it. I know that I've joined Facebook in 2007.

But at Mawita'mk Society there are rules and regulations I have to abide by. My stepfather thinks that I cannot stand rules but he was being whatever with my driver's license and truck. He didn't want me to succeed because he didn't want me to believe in myself. He wanted me to take the heavy criticism and keep going. He, his brother Dodo and his ma.

I know that I did not have a good three meals a day or had a good schooling or driving instructions. I know that he wanted me to fail in so many ways. Yes, he took gold care of me but he hardly fed me. I always had to eat somewhere else because I'd missed meals. I did not have three meals a day but I had something. I know that he didn't want me to enjoy my own life. I know that I wasn't well liked by others. I am weak, everyone is selfish and didn't want me to thrive or succeed.

But they have watched me grow, my paranoid mind says that we are human beings between piss and shit, creating heavens on this earth and developing cultures, traditions and heritages. A philosophy of Dignity of Labour, a good acceptance of different walks of life and believe in the seven sacred teachings. Helpless creatures who take care of each other and have precious moments with each other. 

I have come to terms with how I love, live and work. What I am going to do with my life and how culture, tradition and spirituality define me in many ways. How am I gonna preserve my style of philosophy, poetry, belief system, and hopes for the future? How am I going,  through culture, tradition, heritage and consciousness of religion, going to develop and grow as a linguistic, conscious and professional being? Through sharing words and communication we are sharing our thoughts, beliefs, values and love. We are a culture of creatures with professionalism, quality and family. The emotional intelligence grows and we learn emotional literacy, skilled in our being, we are skilled in creating communication of powers of beliefs, the love of values and the respect for culture, elders and traditions.

How the level of truth, value, beauty and style define us in our daily prayers.

I know that I'm broken, I have been no feeling. I know that I want to enjoy my life. We are hungry every four hours, we are creatures of habits and routines, to display life skills and trade. I know that I'm an adult and I know the basic thing that I should be doing is bathing, brushing teeth, washing hair and mouthwash. I know that I need to be on my toes with all that and in that I should prepare every morning, to get ready for the day, every day.

I know that I've lost my perspective on things. Every since I was diagnosed, it seems that I cannot do much. I have to study routines, habits and life skills. Basic driving needs I need to focus on. I know that it's the most basic thing I could do for myself. It seems my drive is gone. I don't have a strong drive as I used to. I feel that my life is rich of graduations and accomplishments. But I need to be self-supportive and get my ass in gear. It seems that my laziness is my enemy.

My paranoid condition rushes to the most suspicious things I have. And I know that I got to relax and stay calm. I feel more relaxed and calm enough now to live my life. I know that I have Eskasoni METS Program and Eskasoni School Funds from the Eskasoni School Board Community College and Cape Breton University. I know that I have a good School Board and Eskasoni Band METS Program. They don't tell on Facebook where they get their fundings from but I know that they should be a self-sustainable community with an large infrastructure. 

I know that my hometown is growing and in that they are becoming more self-sustainable infrastructure which will grow, develop and continue to get better. I know that nobody wants me back and I know that the local addicts, fiends and bullies don't want me to thrive in Eskasoni. So, I'd moved out twelve years ago and now I'm in a group home. Which have supported me in my goals to get my education, trade, licenses and Unama'ki Driving Certificate. Yeah, I got couple of Certifications from couple community programs. But I know that I want to have everything I want and need, that oh satisfying justice of getting my credentials I want and getting my full driver's license.

But I have to wait until I get my second transplant kidney.