Studious and Wise

How to make the knowledge I have into wisdom? It's experience that I have a bunch of knowledge, intelligence and information. Intelligence is that creative or resourceful side of us while knowledge is the written word. Intelligence is to acquire and apply knowledge and skills. I have acquired a lot of knowledge, something familiar and known. I know that I have all this knowledge but I still need to learn more. Being of knowledge, intelligence and information is to have a metacognition. How much do I know myself?

To have epistemic curiosity is to know your limits of knowledge, intelligence and information. To know what you're aware of and musically inclined to study. I know that I have been learning and learning is the ongoing multifaceted consciousness of knowledge. It's what I want to learn about and do what I can. I have been through hell but that doesn't mean I should quit.

It means that I should learn my roles and places in society. How can I be flexible and fluid like water when there is so much prejudice? I know that I have a good life here and I can build on Mawita'mk Society by getting my full driver's license. Hopefully, I can get my full driver's license so that way I could say that I have it. Personal Powers over my life is coping skills, social strategies and economic/diplomatic negotiation tactics. I know that I could try to develop a good understanding of negotiations and diplomacy in a sociable fashion that I know a thing or two about diplomacy.

Personal leadership is about keeping your calm and keeping what you could manage in order.i know that this story is about learning my roles and responsibilities, opportunities and obligations to Mawita'mk Society, We'koqma'q community and community colleges and universities.

I know that I have a bunch of reasons to stay here and make a living out of minimum wage jobs. I know that personal powers that I want are life skills, career skills and negotiation tactics for an interview. I used to use that word, "personal powers" in my stance for keeping people from being violent. I know that I used to say that word and knew what it meant. But now I struggle to see if I had any personal powers over my life. I never exercised any personal powers or spread my wings to find my ability, life skills or anything that would bring meaning to my life. We live in a socioeconomic society that finds significance, value and meaning in whatever we do. If we are lucky enough to keep something going, on a journey of self discovery and discipline.

I know that through all my education, employments, training and fitness. I know that I had a good life.

We've known economies in a way of gift-giving, trades and service. I know that I had a bunch of economies in Canada. Knowing my options of these economies I feel rich and accomplished. I know that I have my accomplished past in We'koqma'q community but I want to continue with a good momentum of accomplishing stuff. Knowledge of my culture and the modern European economies are what makes this place a rich and complex socioeconomics. I know that I've had options of gift-bearing, subsistence economies, organized around fishing, hunting and gathering. To be able to identify medicines, to clean and gut, butcher and cook. I know that Canadian economies are becoming First Nation communities.

We were marginalized but now everything is growing. First Nation communities are economically growing and there is more to live for.

The future of Eskasoni community is growing and other Mi'kmaq communities are growing and developing. Membertou being the urban First Nation community growing exponentially and Eskasoni growing too. I know that I have high hopes of moving back and living my life in this kind of economical optional infrastructure. I know that I have been through hell and back but I want to live my life in a thriving way. Knowledge could be used in a variety of ways, just have to have an open mind to the uses of a particular knowledge. The experience of addiction have taught me to have the resilience to emotionally, physically and mentally catch up to myself, where I should've been in the reading knowledge of my emotional maturity.

Instead of wasting time on scheming for a good ounce of weed. I should've been reading daily to get enough information to manage my life because great doctors have done it.

They have paved the way to living the most optimal life with life skills, career, dynamic balance and business. I know that my level of knowledge should've been at its peak when I was learning to collect pop bottles. I was just about to get a job but my stepfather thought I needed extra support in my goals. Having Mawita'mk Society with me living at my peak in my twenties, I know that I could do better than just a few dates. I know that I could do eight dates and find out my lover. Knowledge has its limits in human consciousness but I know that I could learn all I need to, in just a few dates.

I feel that the road to recovery and Reconciliation, for me is to do the calls to action from Truth and Reconciliation Commission and to improve on everything in Native Country. I know that at my level of knowledge, intelligence and information I should be on top of my game.

But I know that I am still learning and trying to renew my faith in God. Walk the path of new happiness if I have the strengths to do so, to walk without castigating anyone for any imagined slights or anything. Just try to keep on improving and learning the life skills, routines-building capabilities and habit-making capacity, to learn new ways of self-discipline and self-support. I feel rich in my life experiences, I know that I was chaotic, freed and liberated from my oppressors in ways. Which turned out to be my teachers, disciplinarians(personal trainers) and parents, who have been my heroes and heroines in ways unimaginable. My paranoid schizophrenia have prevented me to develop trust with certain family.

And to the Interagency that have helped out in my struggles, to the parents who have saved me and to Norma Gould and Mawita'mk Society. I am grateful beyond.

I know that my conditions were a blessing in disguise. And that this place have supported me in ways that yet exceeds God's grace. I know that they are humble and, those at the beginning have took my impacts and made them something positive. I feel that I have a good home and I wouldn't give it up easily because I was an addict, mentally disturbed and a mess. I felt that I had something of AA and NA and my Higher Power. I know that I have stood in darkness and looked up to the light, wondering if I could be the man that could provide, support or care for my own family. And if I could have my own family.

I know that I have been learning techniques and coping skills to keep sane and healthy while I work at my own emotional, mental, spiritual, physical and personal growth. I know that I have been living here for twelve years and quit smoking cigarettes at 2013, and stayed sober from weed and alcohol.

Stayed away from all that since 2010 and I know that I had my life together. I know that I was learning to keep a place clean after each use of my apartment. I know that I was in routine and performance of regular cleaning and cooking of my own apartment. I know that I was motivated by the groceries I wanted from Eskasoni Supermarket. I know that I wanted to have a professional job because nobody wanted to give me a regular employment. I know that I was the professional pariah. I know that I was taught to fail without any instructions or givens.

Heavy knowledge that I have isn't what people think. People hide behind images and I don't know them from authenticity. I know that my reach is limited and the personal knowledge I have could be a fabrication or something. Depending on how you tell the story and what powers you have over me. This is just one possibility out of millions.

I know that personal experience can be affected one way or another. Reality shapes perception and the whole truth just keeps going because of generational depth of knowledge. Someone could've lived a life out of addictions and discriminations, still got out of it clean as a whistle and got married. I don't know the personal history behind the image is what I'm trying to say. I don't trust anybody until they tell me the whole truth of psychohistory, personal history and family history just to back it up. Perception is a narrow kind of seeing and looking, everyone has a story to tell and I know that through my family I want to be able to get the story. That's why I don't assume, the depth of personal knowledge is behind everyone.

I know this heavy burden because I don't have personal powers over everyone. It's like meeting complete strangers and not knowing their story.

I've been thinking like a paranoid schizophrenic that is neutral because I don't fact-check. I know that I've lost a parent but I still cannot trust anyone. The generational gap of personal history of truths, facts and verities. I know that I'm an old school soldier from Eskasoni and I know that I'm still young. I just have an old soul that would be something of feeling out the whole truth. The whole belief in somebody. To practice being unbiased is to be neutral and stable, anchored and grounded in stories.

Everyone has their mental image and version of their loved ones. I know that truth would have been through the lenses of perception and in that feeling could be fabricated. But I know that the medicine for my own mind is working, it had been twelve years at Mawita'mk Society, 4ish years with psychotherapist Andrea Currie and a re-introduction to therapist Mike MacInnis. I know that I had help along the way.