We All Have To Make Our Own Way

Independence is something that I cherish. We all have to make our own way but I know that I cannot because the family don't believe in my abilities to work or drive or take care of myself. I have to practice some kind of social independence where I am thinking for myself and doing for myself in a productive, socioeconomic and loving way. I know that I have been learning to do my role in Mawita'mk Society. I don't blame them because I did not have a triumphant recovery from hells I've lived. I feel that I could've gotten myself into routine and have my own place.

I know that I've fallen into routine and comfort with Mawita'mk Society. And I know that I have to make my own way some how, some way. Feeling like I've learned a lot from Mawita'mk Society, about my disabilities and strengths. I'd learned to accept certain things in my life like how I need help to live my life.

I know that I love Mawita'mk Society because they saved me from my own mental and malnourishment life, to a full and rich life of educational accomplishments, milestones and regular treatment of food three times a day and routine. I don't have to think but I would try to think. I feel that I have been living here for twelve years and shown moderate success in ways. I haven't got a job, full driver's license and car yet. I hope that I could get back on track because I know that I've done things that I know was good for me. Like get my ALP diploma and become a Certified Skilled Tradesman and Certified driver.

I could go for eligible apprenticeship that I was trained for because that would mean I am an skilled laborer. I know that being a, Certified tradesman and a Certified driver I could learn more about trades and driving than anyone in my generation.

Than again I get to choose one trade from my NSCC Construction Trades Labor program. I tried to explain what it meant being an graduate from this program. What does innovative and creative mean to a tradesman? What things does these people want from an innovative and creative mind? I wish I have had a few trade businesses in my name where I've made a good reputation out of being a hard worker. I wanted to grow accustomed to driving my own cooking van or plumbing truck. I wanted my own house and yard to have my own mechanic business. And I wanted to have everything done in my twenties.

I always hoped that I could graduate from a lot of NSCC programs, CBU programs and other schools and academies that I wanted to learn from. I hope that I could use connections my real father had once I do get my Law and Security Certificate program.

I know that I should be getting my plumbing because I have more work experience in that than I do have in anything else. I should've gotten plumbing and carpentry. I wouldn't mind learning the measuring tape. I know that I never was accustomed to duty or professional responsibilities like how I want to be. I hope that I could get my second transplant kidney and get my life back on track. I should've been a decade-long Red Seal Certifed Plumber already with my own business truck and my own logo. I know that I could've been easily done the Apprenticeship and have my own job experiences.

I should've gotten my driver's license back when I was 16. I should've graduated when I was 19 back in 2004. I should've gotten my NSCC Plumbing Certificate program and than graduated from NSCC Plumbing program in one year after I've entered it. I could've made the ride through Eskasoni school bus.

2001 I was 16 and I could've gotten my lessons but my stepfather didn't want me to thrive on my own. I know that I didn't get any benefits of parents in regards to driving but I know that I don't have any respect. I know that I had my chance but I was sadden and had a self-defeating attitude. I know that I did not have any opportunity to get my full driver's license. But I got some driving experience in through Unama'ki Driving School, family and friends. I know that back in 2018 I got my Beginner's license in February and it ended in 2020.

So I have to renew my Beginner's license and keep trying to learn the road as a passenger and driver. I hope that I could get my second transplant kidney so I could continue with my life. There is three stages I have to pass in order to become fully licensed driver. 

Beginner's license stage- Newly Licensed driver stage- restricted individual stage.
I know that I got my Beginner's license before and I know that I could do it again. But I know that I need to work on my fitness goals before I do get on the transplant kidney list. Clyde don't care about my independence nor do Vickie or others. I know that I don't get that much respect because I am young. So they treat their Youngs like crap. My hometown community doesn't do that. But Clyde likes it here because it suits him well. When he gets cranky I don't get justice because I know that he isn't communicating with me well. He never does because he wants it how he sees it.

Something intelligent and independent, I know that I'm still struggling to keep my privacy here. I know that I want to expose the hypersexuality of Indian Residential School survivors in my life. I know that I wasn't given a childhood where I could've been normal. I know that there was a lot of addictions.

Could I have creations that are intelligent and clever? Could I work those angles where I don't have to live in monotony? I know that I could use metaphors and other methods of expression. I know that I don't have to make the influence syntonic. But my original self and work in a neutral, independent and thriving way. I know that Vickie is unfiltered but she doesn't respect me. I know this because she doesn't care what happens to my mind. As long as she has total influence over it. That goes for Roddie and others.

I know how to be independent, intelligent and self-reliant. I know terms of self-sufficiency and I know what kind of adult skills set I have for this world. I know that my stepfather wants me to develop professionally but how? I know that he tried to control everything in my life and wanted me to fail in being independent. That goes for the rest of these people, they want me to fail.

That goes for my enemies, they all want me dependent and stagnant. They think that they are better than me. I feel like I've done some things in my life like got my ALP diploma, become Certified tradesman and Certified driver. Get my Beginner's license and keep trying to develop my weight loss in a healthy way. Knowledge of Eskasoni Fitness Center is a good thing because I get to learn the correct forms of fitness. I always had a big vocabulary and I know that I had vocabularistic abilities. I was able to sound out words using techniques that Joe Mckenzie taught me. Breaking them down and wording them out.

My enemies had me traumatized, malnourished, uneducated and stagnant where they thought I would go suicide. But I had opportunities in Eskasoni and I was learning duty of a Custodian. I know that I could reconcile the two.

I could've been a Custodial Technician with a Certificate in Custodial Technician Training Certificate program from ISSA-CANADA Cleaning Management Institute. I am happy how my life has turned out so far, I cannot wait until I get my second transplant kidney. Being independent and tough I know that I could live back in Eskasoni. I know that I could become strong-minded, motivated, routines-building and life-building. I know that I could build a life in Eskasoni, a life of my own and work the community. Growing into a legitimate professional, expert plumbing business, I hope that I could make some friends through my apprenticeships I mentor.

I know that I have to get my Certificate of Apprenticeship or get my NSCC Plumbing Certificate program. I feel rich with opportunities that my home cultural community is growing and developing. And in that I might be able to move back home.

I want to have a few trade community businesses under my name. I hope that I'm creative enough to create a business name, proposal, letter, logo and sign. I know that I could discuss business in my home office. I feel like I have to protect myself in ways of making money. I would have a Trade business bank card and save up much as I can through my own apprenticeships I have. Building careers after careers, I know that I want to have professional networking experiences through LinkedIn and Facebook. Maybe I could get people on LinkedIn.

I know that with every steps I take to make it in the trades, I feel a little closer to Mike Holmes. I want to set the standards with him and tell the professional world what not to do. I hope that I could become a real expert professional and have a good understanding of the measuring tape. I know that I want to be learning through NSCC Marconi Campus.