My Nature of Psychohistory

I know that I had my fair shares of women  and I had my fair shares of rejection. I know that asking questions settles my mind and I could pursue other women instead of being haunted by a question. I know that I had a few rejections so far. And I know that I'm not that attractive to get a good woman. I had my fair shares of women and my fair shares of rejections over the years. I know what it's like to have everything in my life. I know that I don't get any chance because of friendship. I could enjoy the stars with someone else. I know that I have been learning that I don't have any attractive qualities or characteristics.

I know that I have tried to get a good woman but those women don't want me. I know that I don't have any blacklist contacts or females after me. But I know that I'm still looking. I know that I am freer than before to pursue women. I could imagine a good deal of a life together with a good woman.

I was never crazy. I never went to a party or went to any sporting events or concerts. I know that I was left out because I wasn't given any leeway or choices. I know that I never had any unique experiences in my life. I was stuck at home where I collected pop bottles and recycled. I know that I did not have any good experiences in Eskasoni. I know that I cannot afford regular coffee. I cannot manage my money. I know that I'm not that favorite because I'm always left out of things. Maybe I could move back home and have my days wasted like how I used to.

I am not accustomed to duty in Darren's eyes. I've been lazy for twelve years and reaping benefits of Mawita’mk Society, I hadn't any strengths to work on my own life while at Mawita'mk Society. I have to work on my physical fitness. What I inherent from Mawita'mk Society is incorrect thinking, languishing and being stagnant.

I know that I want to be living my best life in Eskasoni. But I cannot even do that because I'm not councilor or professional. My stepfather don't want me working for him. And I know that my family got laid more times than me. I never was the attractive person in the family or I would've had dates and things like that in my early life. I know that I'm not attractive in any sense because I would've gotten a woman already. If I was attractive I would've had different women every night. But I cannot even do that because I'm nothing to the ladies.

I know that women that don't want me to get the young fine things but they don't want me to themselves. I know that I could be a great lover and a loyal husband. But independent women don't want somebody that is stuck on dialysis. And I know damn well they wouldn't want a genetic freak like me. I could imagine a life together but I know it isn't the right woman.

I know that I'm not that attractive to the younger population because of my old fashion ways, because I don't know promiscuity as I should, and I'm not relationship material. I know that here I have to face rejections and in twelve years I never really had any luck with promiscuity. I'm mostly stuck with really low income and my parents not wanting me to have different women every night. They are pretty powerful to have such strength to stop all that. My sisters told me that I'm handsome. Yeah like a retarded child not getting girlfriends. I knew that I did not have any luck with women. I'm the only one I guess, that don't have promiscuity. I know that I'm not that attractive but at least fuck me. Am I fuckable?

What I know is that I have an accomplished past in We'koqma'q community. I don't have any luck with women for twelve years and then some.

Then again The Mawita'mk Women here are mostly stuck ups. They gossip about people and don't have any respect for me. So I have to look outside of Mawita'mk Society's care team and hopefully get a few women like that. 

I know that these women are old mentality and I know that I have to look outside of my care team. Women want to keep a good professional distance and keep a good professional relationship with me, the client. I don't want that but apparently I'm not relationship material enough to surpass all that. Alongside workers I'm nothing but a client.

They care more about their jobs than loving. Which is admirable in ways but not good for me. I know that I'm not what people want because I am stuck at Mawita'mk Society on dialysis and stuck because no family would help me to get me out of this place. I know that I need to work on physical fitness.

My psychohistory doesn't paint a pretty picture about me. Besides Mawita'mk Society won't show me or help me understand my medical files. I know that I don't get any lady or respect because I am damned, forgotten and weak. I cannot have heavy saying over what people say about me. I am not that reliably kind of guy who will provide emotional safety. I know that I'm still stuck on dialysis and living at Mawita'mk Society knowing that I hate the fact that I'm surrounded by old fashion women. I know that I need to work at certain things in my life.

But I know that I have been on dating apps and no woman wants me there. I don't have the money for such things. And I know that I'm still stuck where I'm at. I know that I'm no lady's man because I am not that attractive or have anything good going for me. I know that I have to work at certain things in my life. And I know that I have to be patient and careful.

I know that I'm not really respected or wanted because I got nothing good going for me. I know that I have to work at my physical fitness and nutrition. I know that these women want to keep their professional lives separate from their personal lives. So that means I have to look outside of Mawita'mk Society's care and stay away from my care team. I know that I don't have any attractive qualities or characteristics but I know that I can choose outside of the care team. I feel that I haven't been properly prepared or taught to get a pretty lady. But I'm sure that a dating app might get something.

Hopefully, I can work with Mawita'mk Society to take progressive baby steps to better myself and make a good man out of me. I know that I haven't been able to reach certain goals and that's because of Mawita'mk Society. I know that I don't stand a chance when it comes to the ladies of Mawita'mk.
And I know that I don't have any respectability. 

I feel this way because I know how I'm looked at in ways. I know that I'm looked at as the kid who cannot make it on his own. And I know this for sure because a few of them mentioned my inability to do stuff. I know that I have lost faith in my stepfather's eyes because I wasn't thriving good enough. I was struggling and stressed and couldn't really do much with what my stepfather have given me. I know that he could've gotten my car and license. But I still struggle to do that goal. I know that I haven't been able to get my full driver's license and job. I know that gas isn't that cheap anymore.

I know that I'm stuck here because of dialysis, appointments and other stuff that is in my way to get out of here. I know that because I cannot take care of myself no woman would want me. I know that I don't want to be stuck.

I want to take progressive baby steps with Mawita'mk Society supporting me in my goals. I hope that I could get something going for me but Mawita’mk Society sees that I have to focus on my fitness goals. I know that I feel like I'm stuck here because I'd tried to leave before and cops where called on me. I know that I haven't been able to reach certain goals because of Mawita'mk manager. I know that I have to work at physical fitness and joys of movements. I know that I used to be an endurance walker and walked when I had to. Being on my own was something. Depending on how I felt I could've gotten myself into working with Eskasoni Band Council and have My job and place. Get used of paying rent. 

My stepfather of a scum bag never really taught me about my rights relating to a house, land or Treaties. I know that my stepfather never really helped me out. I know that he is something of a scum bag.

That's because he is selling the house. I'd learned about sibling's rights through a councilor and family. I am the oldest male of the family and I get land ownership, house and deed and title. And I have a good life of meaning, value and significance in that house. I said I would give up the house as long as they kept on buying me cigarettes. I quitted 2013 and its 2022, so 9 years of quitting cigarettes. I have been sane and sober for twelve years and reaping benefits of Mawita’mk Society. I know that I need to seriously think of where I'm going to live because I know some of my old influences aren't that great. My feelings aren't congruent with my rights.

I know that I don't have any influences to tap when they are around. And I know that the Morrison family has no rights to my house. I will make a shit storm about how I've been treated in their family clique. I know that I don't have any rights in their eyes.

But that Mickey's Lane house has been given to my mother. And I rightfully own that place. I am calling on the Sibling's Rights in Eskasoni and want to move back home. I know that the Morrison family has little powers but petty violence and harassments. I know that I enjoyed my own life in Eskasoni and I know that house belongs to my biological mother. Jessie Denny was my biological mother's connections to a house. The late Jessie Denny was Eskasonian, so that means I'm truer to belonging to Eskasoni than I ever was. Culturally I couldn't understand but I know that I have rights.

The way they have treated me over the years and tried to protect their fake reputation. I know how emotionally abusive these Morrison can be. I know that they want to lure, trap and abuse. Nobody feels like I have no rights in their eyes. I know that I could treat them like crap.

They have treated me like crap all those years. And then suck up to settle things. I know that they haven't taught me my Eskasoni rights, my Treaties, the huge opening in the Constitution. And I know that I do a lot here and I know that I have credentials I could get. I know that I haven't been supported properly in my life because my stepfather made decisions before I could find out about my Sibling's Rights.

I want a income with my level of education and employability. I want to have a regular employment because I want to have online accounts where I have something going for me. I want to play games on my computer and Playstation 4. And I want to have my Playstation 2 and Playstation Portable well prepared to be played. I know that I have tons of reasons to live my life at Mawita'mk Society. And this house business isn't my business. It's my sisters' business.

I know that walking in Eskasoni would inspire me. I know that I could walk to work and get used of having my permanent part-time employment with Eskasoni Tim Hortons. I know that I want to be helpful in ways but I don't know any other motive than to learn much as I can. I know that I had to take my medicine and injection to get out of that mental ward. It wasn't bad at the time, it was an excellent service at the time. I know that I was proffered a place at Mawita'mk Society. Back then I just came from my place and I couldn't get my welfare safely.

I know that I went through the system because I went First Floor, the mental ward and got my meals on. And went to Eskasoni Rehab and then moved to Mawita'mk Society all in that 2010 year. I know that my pop bottles pickings were done. I did not know whether or not I was getting. Until Tracy Russell told me to go Adult Learning Program.

So I did and I am glad that I'd made that decision. I know that I have been learning about social sciences and geography. I think geography is a planetary science and a social science because of human interactions with the complexities of natural phenomenons on earth. I know that there are architectural areas v. Interdependence of biological or natural phenomenas such an climatology, biological studies of civilizations and humans, natural science of cities and nature.

I know that I have studied Global Geography and Global History. Which Reconciliation should be on the forefront of Global History. I know that I never was given a proper defense or explanation of Global History. I know that people made me out to be the idiot and wanted me to say that they are smarter than me. I know that I never was independent in school as I thought I was. I wanted to be extremely independent.

Which would've meant that I was figuring stuff out on my own. I know that Mawita'mk Society was taking me to appointments and not telling anyone. I know that I was not given proper support in school or at work. Obviously I had to missed work and school for appointments. And live with that because nobody had forgiven me. I know that I couldn't really explain Indian Residential School and Indian Day School. And I couldn't explain the Pass System in Cape Breton. There was a rich history of Documentaries on Donald Marshall Jr. and Gabriel Sylliboy. There was books on those things. I know that I was given that knowledge to be armed with.

Indian Residential Schools and other schooling at the time wasn't privy to me. I know that was a scumbagged move. And I know that I had my real father to tell me these things. But those moments have passed and now I am armed to the teeth

I care about Mawita'mk Society, better to get those questions out of the way before establishing a lifelong friendships with them. I know that I don't have any house or yard or car. But at least I have some kind of freedom. I know that I need to work on three simply goals; my fitness, my full driver's license and job. I know that if I do get my fitness I could get on the transplant kidney list a lot quicker.

I haven't much luck with women online. But I know that I want to enjoy driving without distractions or supervision. But I need to renew my Beginner's license first and pass the Newly Licensed Driver stage and Restricted Individual stage. I know that I'm walking and hoping to keep that up.

In my Darkest Little Hell I've been rescued and I could've had my greatest triumphant recovery from depths of hells like that. It would've been a testament to my independence and willpower. I know that Mawita'mk Society and We'koqma'q Mental Health service has saved me from the depths of my seven circles of hell and brought me back to emotional sanity and sobriety. And taught me about sleep hygiene practices and other things. 

My psychohistory doesn't do me justice. And I miss my old doctor. He was a good doctor. I know that I want to move back home but it's a big decision. I have to think seriously about moving back home. I know that I had a few old doctors and I know that I've been in the system with my stepfather. But I was an outdoor kid who did stuff with his stepfather. I don't know what I seem like to my stepfather.