A Strong Sense of Friendship and Community From An Indigenous Descendant part 2

With this Intergenerational and intercultural racism through colourism, ageism, hypergamy/hypogamy, managing losses and grief, anger and frustration, pains and stratifications of hatefulness. Feeling like I'd had a rich life in Eskasoni both on the bad side and good side. I had a few good years in Eskasoni. I was productive without a day's worry one time ago. I enjoyed my books and fitness. Accepting myself as a experienced bachelor with a level of education and employability. I'm doing productive things in Mawita'mk Work Program.

I know that I have been living at Mawita'mk Society reaping benefits of their services, of their Mawita'mk communication bundle and indoor plumbing and electrical. I know that they have cable and TVs in each bedroom. I know that I've been listening to stories about this place. I know that I hadn't any relationship experiences in We'koqma'q.

I have to take personal responsibility over my own life. That much I know because I feel that I have been living here for twelve years without problems and balance. I should've taken initiative at my niece's birthday party and stuck with two cups per day. Sometimes I question people's comprehension, that's because these little people I hang with is my nieces and nephews. I know that I'm happy where I'm at because it's peaceful, I have role models that are friends, I have Nerdvana bedroom and all my stuff is here. I could work on My Six Goals of Independence like 1. Get my full driver's license, 2. Get my BA degree, 3. Get my fitness and walking endurance, 4. Balance out my meals with walking and fitness and Mawita'mk Work, 5. Get another job and 6. Save up for a car.

I know that my responsibilities are to take initiative at Mawita'mk Society to walk on treadmill.

To take full control over my drinking choices. I feel that I have full independence at Mawita'mk Society but I need to work with Mawita'mk Society. There have to be a balance of interdependence(Teamplayer) and independence(taking personal responsibility) to live here. I have to put in efforts of that balance. I know that I have been thinking for myself and I was taught that independence is taking personal responsibility in name of health and goodness. I know that I'm loved and cherished but to have meaningful balance I have to connect interdependence and independence in someway to my life.

Independence is thinking for myself and taking personal responsibility for my drinking choices. Family has been this balance between interdependence and independence. 

That's what I'm missing personal responsibility. That meaningful way of living my life with my own family and Mawita'mk.

I don't want to be subjected to another's person bullying. I know that I have Six Goals of Personal Development, Six Goals of Independence and Six Goals of Professional Development. I know that that racism could be rid of because I have gotten far as getting my own hatred out of my heart. The cycle continues with abusiveness, hate and addictions. I know that I was a Heavy Weight at first. A Heavy Weight Hater and I know that I wanted love, peace, harmony and productivity in my life. I knew that I had to move.

Goal-orientation from Mawita'mk Society works in various ways. Its multifaceted this learning thing and consciousness allows me to understand in ways. There is a wide range of knowledge I possess but I need to practice. I know that I always understand in ways but I have to see it to believe it. I know that I have a lot to be thankful for at Ni'kinen.

I know that I have to do the things to keep my own fitness going. I feel that I'm being spoiled by Mawita'mk Society but I hope that I could balance out my meals and snacks with walking. I know that I love my hometown but I have to live off of that reserve because I have been through hell and back. I know that Mawita'mk Society has been there for twelve years, and they are a sure bet that they will be here for a long time. I feel like I had something of a discriminatory life because everyone wanted to scheme off of me. And in that process I was traumatized and put through hell.

I had to deal with a stratification of discriminations and prejudice against me because I did not want to submit. I know that I wanted to prove myself in Eskasoni. But all they wanted to prove was hatefulness, prejudice and discriminations. Everything I went through I know that I'd learnt hate.

My real father doesn't trust in discipline so he doesn't practice it. Having him in my head is like having a spoiled child in my psyche instead of a Dutiful Son. But he is my father none the less and I do have to work at forgiving him for his absence. Besides the Morrison haven't been on point with visiting me either. Well they have but I have issues too. I know that my real father gave it a real shot at trying to get my baby sister. I had bad leaders who got me drunk and addicted, wanting me to prove my worth than and still haven't apologized for that kind of influences in my life.

Addictions in all its forms and fashion have been a terrible burden in my life. My stepuncles wanted me to choose a lifestyle that was detrimental from being with them. 

But I had a good productive years in my life. I was earning my way through chores and pop bottles. And making my life easier in terms
He started a strained relationship that I never knew. He wanted to be that ideal father without consequences. He must hate me to put me through something like this. I feel that he is from Indian Residential School and he is strong enough to get here and back. I'm glad for that but he has to make a complete Indigenous life changes to his eating habits. That's what the doctors are willing to tell him. But he didn't want to hear it from me, well let's get to cherishing and loving.

Hatred is what drove me out of Eskasoni. And I hope this is he's wake call to change his eating habits. I had to and I know that I had to grow accustomed to eating that way until my stepfather put spices and sauces in it. But I hope that I could get along without him. I have been for years and when he does pass I hope that the family understands why I don't want to attend his wake and funeral. It's just that I care for him.

And I want him on the right path of the Red Road. And be on the path of recovery, fitness and healthy eating. Fitness and nutrition instead of being haunted by his memory. I'm just a regular guy trying to take personal responsibility and take initiative into a daily routine of fitness, renal diet nutrition and walking. Complacency isn't what I want because you get lazy. Happy status quo bias in fitness could get me plateaued in fitness. I hope that me and him could live a long life. Our longevity of a good family relationship will echo through the First Nation communities. And I will learn my language with my real father by my side.

I am immersed into the culture with We'koqma'q community. Wabanaki Council of Disability and Mawita'mk Society advocating for Indigenous Disableds all around Canada. I know that I could live a thriving, rich quality of life anywhere in Nova Scotia and Canada.

I want to have memories of cooking and baking a storm every Christmason my own. I know that I had those kinds of memories in Eskasoni. Celebrating Christmas with my family and having my independence in the New Year's. I know that I don't want to be told off because of such pettiness. I know that if he wants me to leave this alone then I will. Just don't expect me at your wake or funeral. 

It's nothing special that you have punched me in your care. I know that you haven't treated me any thing close to a child. I'm coming from my heart and I know that he isn't making the best choices of fitness, recovery and nutrition.

My real father loves the Blues music. What I would give to have a reward system in place for the Syliboy blood when they exercised and ate right all day. My family is important to me and I want them to light a fire under their ass and get to work again.

A strong sense of friendship and community is family values and Mi'kmaq beliefs in ways. I know that I have been worked on over the years by my stepuncles. I know that they wanted me uninnocent. I know that a strong sense of friendship and community is caring about my social network. A way of seeing it is that everyone was busy during my time of need. And I know that I'm still learning about women, relationships and romance. I was deprived of that part of my life while I was a teen.

I'd worked yard work and exercised while I was a teen addict. That was my downfall financially speaking. My cousin took most of my money I'd earned and washed it away. I know that I was stolen from family couple of times. And people that was close to me was controlling and patrolling my every move. I know that now I'm hateful. I know that my family has been on the same goals as me.

This is an impassioned, important plea for him to train for the Special Olympics and pick something to do. This is an impassioned, important plea for him to get off his ass and get into fitness. I hope that he could get his legs for fitness. If he is my real father and if he wants me to take pride in him, he has to show efforts after he recovers and get back into fitness training and build muscles. I'll start it off and hopefully he can finish it with me.

I know that I'm gonna start it off and I have the ideal support system in place for my feelings. I hope that I could make my life better through Johnny's Gym and my own personal weights and bench. I want to be on top of my game and have a muscular fitness. Accepting myself as a experienced bachelor with a level of education, fitness and employability. I think I could make it in this world I just got to put efforts into living.

I have to follow rules and regulations but my Johnny's Gym membership is paid for. I want to transform my body into a physical muscular fit person who has life, vitality, vibrancy and working with Mawita'mk Society to live my life in an ideal way. I am learning from Mawita'mk Work Program, Ni'kinen house and family. Ni'kinen house is teaching me to be a my own cleaner, organizer and plumber. I know that I'm learning to keep things clean, neat and tidy. I know that I have kept my old bedroom neat, clean and tidy. I know that I had positive changes over the years I've been in We'koqma'q community. I know that I had good transformations and personal developments.

I know that I have to take personal pride in my looks, my traits, my lineage, my body and my hometown. I know that I'm still stuck where I'm at but it's a good stuck. People don't want me to either date or get hurt.

I know that I have support in My Fitness Goals. My New Year's Resolutions are to get my own fitness goals started. Start my dad (when he recovers) into fitness training. And hopefully incorporate some kind of Mawita'mk Society's care into family. Continue with my fitness journey and goals. And get my sisters helping me in my Fitness Goals. My real dad's influence is all about the impulse and how to get more of it compulsively. I know that I don't have any respect from him or either he would've gotten into fitness with me.

Then again I know that I'm reacting, not responding. I know that I want to take that 2023 New Year's Resolutions. Get back into fitness and get my fitness goals started. Start walking on Treadmills and outdoors more. Get into routine with all that and keep doing it until I can grow muscles out of my own body.

Moving out is independence and independence is taking personal responsibility and having the freedom in my own apartment, living the best life I have and driving around. The Six Goals of Independence at Mawita'mk Society could give me that kind of independence that have been managing my whole life to avoid. 1. Get my full driver's license and job. 2. Get my Fitness and walking endurance back. 3. Look for a place after they given me a second transplant kidney. 4. Get back to schooling once I'm settled in my old place. 5. Get into martial art for fitness training with a group. 6. Work out and walk for health purpose like getting my second transplant kidney.

I know that I still think that I could go places on my own. This place is getting me weaker in my resolve to move out. I have lived here for twelve years and now I want to get in shape and get my second transplant kidney. But that old apartment of mine in Eskasoni is dangerous. I cannot protect myself without anyone breaking in. 

I was that guy who always brought my own weed to friends and family. I know that I always had something. Depending upon how the pop bottles where I was good under the welfare system. With Eskasoni I get to have Financial Literacy with Eskasoni Band Office. And I know that I could learn a lot from Eskasoni. And I have but I haven't been putting my bike knowledge, my small engines knowledge or anything to good use.