Ta Make it Better

I know that if I want a house, driveway, car, yard, family, incomes and jobs. I have to work on my Immediate Goals of Independence. I have to get back on my renal diet and get back into fitness. I know that I have to work on my physicality than to talk about Life Goals. That's why I'm doing it, to get on the second transplant kidney list. I know that I need to start taking initiatives at bathing, brushing my teeth, building a routine every day. And I should be able to start with the First Task of the Day: making my bed in the morning. I want to come from self-respect and self-discipline. I hope that I could learn the power of Discipline and work it all into my life. Using my emotions for motivation and determination. I know that I could learn the strengths to deal with my Immediate Needs and Goals of Independence.

I'd lost my apartment at Mawita'mk Society. So I don't have any respect for my independence. 

So that's what Darren thinks anyways. I know that I want to move because I don't have any attractive qualities or characteristics or traits or muscles or height. I have to use my connections with friends to help out. I know that my loneliness has been here for a good while. Mawita'mk Society hasn't accounted for loneliness, life goals or anything like that. No woman wants me because of what she hears from people. I know that I don't have any respect for living my life at Mawita'mk Society. Hopefully I can have that Independent social life again. I miss the intimacy of a woman who is willing and able. I know that I would have more reasons to walk for my errands. All the hells I've been through I know it doesn't count at Mawita'mk Society.

So I want to move because I'll have more reasons to walk. I need my friends and family to help out. Ta put the tough mentality back.

Nobody gives a shit about me. They are worried about their image and how my death will affect that. I want my feet hurting from walking. I want to get used of and grow physically conditioned and accustomed to walking. In Eskasoni I know its a big community and a lot of distance to cover to get to an department, Supermarket or Rehab. I know that I need to move back for social reasons, personal reasons and health reasons. I need to start walking period! And Eskasoni is the place to do it. I know that I want to have my own place without being on anyone's worrylists. I want to be independent socially and thriving personally, socially and professionally. I know that I could be of Eskasoni Welfare system and collect pop bottles.

Doing errands like getting my medicine for three months, getting my injection at health center pharmacy. Going Eskasoni Men's Wellness group, going NA and AA. Going collect pop bottles and going dialysis. I know that after a good rest I would be better off to do things. I know that I would have that kind of freedom to sleep better. I know that I could learn how to accept certain conditions in my life. I know that I would get dates a lot quicker through friends or family. 

Going Eskasoni Mental health or Mental Wellness. Yeah I had a rich life style here but I could have a more simpler and better lifestyle at Eskasoni. They have a better infrastructure and business booming. All my friends are there and I have friends in We'koqma'q community. Growing personally accustomed to living a rich life I could get used of walking again for groceries. I know that I would walk to my checkups and other appointments. Until I can get a Medical taxi regulated and routined at my place. Mawita'mk staff is something here and I don't care for that. I know that I want my scheduling mind back and have my walking endurance back.

Feeling like I would lose weight quicker in Eskasoni I know that if I could find a place in Eskasoni. I would but I know that I don't have any attractive qualities or characteristics or traits or muscles or height. The principles of lust is easy to understand.

Women want a tall, dark, handsome and rich man who isn't a dork and have all the right words to say. I know that I have to move out because I got more reasons to move out. I could test my ability with cooking and preparing the food layouts. I could test my life skills I was so damned taught so badly. I know that I would stay busy by doing stuff for the family and collecting pop bottles, being on Eskasoni Welfare system and having a smartphone. I know that if I had WiFi capabilities, I could use my smartphone in Eskasoni. Hopefully I can get the Communication bundle in Eskasoni. Feeling better because it would align with what I'm feeling.

I know that they've taken my ability for the best judgment in my own life. I know that I have to live my life in Adult group home mentality/reality life. The independent social life is how I could get published.

With half of my money from GST direct deposits, from my future with Eskasoni Welfare system every two weeks, with Christmas bonus and my small supplementations with my incomes through pop bottles and working for family. I know that I could stay busy with investing with big garbage cans around the community. Growing personally accustomed to living like that and getting used of walking. I know that I could get something going for myself. I know that I could have everything I need on my own and hopefully live my life in Eskasoni. I know that I could have a good operation at my own apartment. Hopefully I can walk and get used of walking in Eskasoni.

I know that I have been motivated with my friends before. Mawita'mk Society took away my sense and feelings of effort. I know that suffering is a funny word. You have to suffer to get the best results out of fitness.

I could have a socioeconomic happenings and have a political ear for things. I know that I could get something going under my hometown community Eskasoni Welfare system and get a good work programs from Eskasoni Welfare. I know that I grew up a fucked up screw up, used drops and had medical problems with my biological mother's care. I know that I cannot be whatever or slack because I know that I have to work at it. 

Having nothing in my name I know that I don't have any attractive qualities or characteristics or traits or muscles or height to attract a woman. I know that Eskasoni is the hardest place to find apartments there.

Eskasoni is running out of lands and I think they need to expand. I know that I have a lot of odd jobs experience. I have a few professional experiences, I have my level of education and employability.

I could get work but I'm on dialysis. So my injection, my dialysis, my medicine, my female companionships. I could say that I want to live at Eskasoni. It's hard though to get a place in Eskasoni. Feeling like I am kind of stuck for now. I don't feel trapped anymore. 

Just have to wait it out. I know that I cannot hold a good woman down because I am a could've been. But I'm proud and happy about the work I've done over the years. I know that I could work harder in Eskasoni. I got no ties, no women, no job, no nothing here. Just my things and stuff. I know that I would be good on my own because I have no safety nets. 

And I know that I have been living in We'koqma'q community for thirteen years.

I know that I would love you until you take it for granted. I have to be aware of certain things in my life when I'm on my own. Yeah I would be good on my own because my love isn't good enough.

In this world too much hatred is guiding people and toxic people want to upset. I know Eskasoni is the hardest place to get a place. I know that I had an interesting life in ways of summer time work working the pop bottles and having my Welfare. But I know that I cannot figure out how to get passed this inflation rate. I know that Eskasoni Council has a Food Bank in Eskasoni. I was more happier when I just hopped on Facebook through a friend's computer. I used to go around and harm people before they'd harmed me. I know that I was an addict and needed to sober up because I know that I was damaging my reputation as an innocent. My haven became my hell and it kept on going back and forth, to heaven to hell and hell to heaven.

Self-starting, that word alone should mean motivation. I know that I used to write with motivation. It would motivate me even more.

I know that I don't want to live here because I could make my groceries with Eskasoni Food Bank, Eskasoni Supermarket and Eskasoni Welfare system. I am a single person and I know that I'm still growing emotionally speaking. I want my own mailbox, I want my own place or apartment, I want to have all my options ready for living in Eskasoni. To make it my own I have to have freedom and independence in my own place. A social independent life and having earning my own way. I know that I have plenty of reasons to move back home. People there knows me, I have a level of education and employability to use in Eskasoni, I know that all my childhood friends are there. And I'll have better luck with getting lady-friends over to my place without Mawita'mk Society's interference.

I know that there is a growing number of diseases infesting our society. I know that stress to a level, if energy can be converted.

If energies can be converted into emotional feelings which neurochemistry can determine our sicknesses. I hope to one day recover from paranoid schizophrenia, if that'd even possible. Knowing that my sex partners don't want me for unknown reasons. I know that I could get something going online and buy my Gold membership to Tinder. We are not so differently wired, women and men. We all have feelings and emotional intelligence. We can interpret out world differently because of unknown perspectives women have. I want to be successful, accomplished and thriving on my own professionally, socially, physically, socioeconomically, personally and culturally. I want to say "money ain't a thang" and make big moves, have credentials and degrees.

I hope that I could get a lot of things done. Get my physical fitness by walking in Eskasoni. I'm weak now but of I can condition myself through working and cooking.

I know that I have been learning about hypersexuality from a good healthy perspective. I know that I want to move back to Eskasoni because I have my education and trade. I know that I could get a good job and do plenty of cooking. I just got to get back into practice. I could test a lot of life skills because I know that I have been through hell and build a heaven through my own hell. I don't have anything that would make me independent. Independence has their own Freedoms and resources. I know that I have to keep the inflation rate one step ahead. And have my Food Bank ready and have a steady daily routine of collecting pop bottles and learning about my taxes. I ain't a good supporter of things and I don't communicate well. I am no conversationalist but my parents were. I have that gene.

I could do stuff here and get used of walking for my things here. But with Eskasoni I have to so that it means more of a survival reason to walk. I come from tragedies, losses, missed opportunities, addictions and discriminations. I know that I need direct conversation because I know that I don't have any political ear or have any powers to do certain things. People keep trying to disempower me and take away whatever I need to survive. 

I know that one of those people could be Mike MacInnis. I know that he has healed me and I know that I gotten my clear thinking back. He is right though anti-franternization policies is a healthy boundary. No matter how passionate I am about love. I have to make it better by forgoing love. That's why I have to move because I don't want to be reminded about that. My dream vacation is making my own money and spending it how I see it. I want to be successful, accomplished and thriving professionally, physically, socioeconomically, personally and culturally. 

Love from this side and pre-apocalyptic romance and the end of something before it got started. I know that I am doubted and don't want to be exposed. But my inner thoughts is what's keeping this blog alive. 

My Immediate Goals and Needs are what is keeping me here. Well I would walk more in Eskasoni and have more errands done in Eskasoni. I would have to make trips to Eskasoni Welfare and get my Direct Deposit through my own online banking. I know that I got a smartphone and technology in my corner. I need a decent place to live at. I know that Eskasoni Council has Eskasoni Food Bank I could use. 

I know that I would go for medications, for checkups, dialysis would be taken care of because I have Noel Simon on the case. I know that I got the numbers for every Eskasoni Public Transit Service. I know that they have busses, Medical taxi and Eskasoni Public Transit Service. They have a better infrastructure there. I knowthat they have a Community Channel and I know that they have a Community radio. Hopefully I can use these media platforms for raising money for Community bridging giveaway bingos and other games. 

Using Social Media networks like YouTube, Tik Tok and Instagram live. Being Facebook famous for a good radio show entertainments. I know that I could get the Hometown Radio going again. Psychologically I'm updated, upgraded and added a few accomplishments to my name. I have a level of education and employability that I could use in Eskasoni for schemes, using my political ear and influences. 

I know that I will be on people's worrylists. I know that they care and want the best for me. Maybe I could get something going under my hometown community Eskasoni Welfare system? A bingo hustle that would bridge the two communities into giving presents. I know that they could pick a name and I will get it if I get it. And I will deliver it.

But it has to be some kind of tie to that community. Growing personally accustomed to living like that I could do Bingo on Tuesdays and collect pop bottles until it was counted and added up. Five cents for a pop bottle. I know that I could get something going on in my hometown cultural community because they do have a better infrastructure to scheme off of, not rip off. 

Working on my operational schedules of that month. I know that I could get something going in Eskasoni. Feeling better about my life I know that I want to come back home. Eskasoni has been in progressive baby steps on making their infrastructural developments. I know that I could live in Eskasoni and make my way there. I would do a,lot of riding and walking in Eskasoni.