Progress, Not Perfection, Is Key

Measurable progress takes times, it's not perfection overnight. I know that I want to specialized in couple of Trades and businesses in We'koqma'q community. "Make measurable progress in reasonable time" Jim Rohn said that. And I know that baby steps is a slow progress sometimes, but that's working hard and doing what I need to do, to make measurably reasonable progress in due time. I've been sober for thirteen years and accomplished many things in my life; even though it's small accomplishments sometimes. Still small valuable victories can make changes much as small, valuable baby steps. It adds up and I know that I've learned to work steadily, focusedly and steadfastly. I am learning patience from Mawita'mk Society.

I could say that I'm determined and motivated to live my life. I know that the power of ambition and the power of disciplined ambition can make measurable progress.

I'm in progress of reading three books for comparable understanding and thoughts. 

Who is more influential with their writings and who has a better evolutionary psychologies or experience about clinical works. I know that I have a good deal of books and pdfs, eBooks and encyclopedias to read. With my knowledge(if I am doing it successfully right) I could apply it to therapeutic relaxation and calmness. I know that with knowledge of biology, anatomy, physiology and body massages I could put myself into such a relaxed state. But that's where convincible people can say that I'm a bitch when I didn't fought. They would rather fight somebody that is weak than a formidable foe.

I know that no woman in her right mind would go out with me now. Workers would lie about their sex lives because there is anti-franternization policies. I hadn't made any measurable progress to get laid.

An old woman don't care about my sex life. She would rather watch me obey and stay here instead of making measurable progress in reasonable time. I am supposed to be helpless on my own. That's what they are trying to tell me. I don't care for that because I want my life back in my own controls and powers. The truth is that I cannot take care of myself. You cannot control truth because there will always be something there. Truth is powerful but you know that you could be worked on for years. How I was shaped by Dodo's secret when I was young, I know that I couldn't really enjoy myself.

I know that both adults have been lying their asses off and my mother was a slut(a woman with loose morals) because she put that on me. And cheated on my stepfather with Dodo because she didn't worked at it. Couldn't figure it all out. Should've read books from Doctors.

Family supposed to be the pride in truth when they lie their asses off with their sex lives. Getting punished for keeping a secret and staying away from blood was my mistakes. But convincible people like Dodo and Bill had me living in hell. I used the term slut because it's well suited for family life. Women aren't that responsible and accountable when it comes to their actions. I truly believe this because I have a large family, fucked up and lying their asses off. No wonder I couldn't make any measurable progress in reasonable time; because my family was weighing me down. They always love angry control and forced, shared feelings and beliefs. They wouldn't want to deal with truthfulness when it comes to them.

Than again native women have been able to accept truthfulness of their actions and consequences. Except my biological mother, she left an open wound.

I was sexually abused and discriminated and than abused by many other pedophiles. I know that I've had my life handed over on a silver platter where I couldn't reclaim my rights, my innocence and independence. Where I couldn't stop people from doing what they've done. The secret has impacted me in ways where I couldn't stop the subconscious hypersexuality affecting my life. People think that they know psycho-sexology. And learning that truth of mind isn't that easy to read. I know that I'm hated because everyone treats me differently. Progress, not perfection will win the fight. Some bloods I hate, others know me. Not the Sylliboy family.

The Syliboy family wants a perfect life, not processed and progressed life. They love my mind under their little thumb and so does many others. It seems like I am feeling tired and filled with suicide, I know that they think that they know me.

But this Hell Raiser haven't lived up to his full potential. Learning that I had to cope and turn the page, I did not processed the loss of my innocence properly. They think that they know psychology and that they don't care for my mind. I know that this Demon Child hasn't exact vengeance yet. My step uncle and biological mother has deflected responsibility for the longest time. And learning that's where she left me; I know that I have an accomplished past in We'koqma'q community and have no reasons to do anything but forgive her. Not Dodo but her.

Learning that I have to accept Mawita'mk Society as my saviors, I know that I have a deep and solemn feeling of appreciation for Mawita'mk being in my life. For the original workers I know that they will be missed(the original workers I've met up with). I am no good father if that's what some mothers are worried about.

Measurable progress in due time will take reasonable grounds and evidence-based progressive baby steps towards personal growth. I have milestones in my life, I had graduations and jobs I've had, I had driving experience hours and a good deal of instructions and driving training. I have a level of education, trade training and driving experience that I could use in a professional schedule in We'koqma'q community, Eskasoni, Chapel Island, Wagmatcook and Membertou. I am Certified in cultural awareness, driving, laboring and I'm educated by NSCC School of Access. I have a Wall of Credentials that are hanging on the wall like the chronological list of credentials that I gotten over the years. Yes! I was taught well, yes! I had a lot of good teachers, instructors, tutors, pedagogues and educators.

I hope that I could learn much as I can with living in We'koqma'q, at Mawita'mk Society.

Yes, progress, not perfection is key. And learning that every steps I take will eventually show on my smartphone. I know that I have access to the community and Eskasoni, I have friends and family in Eskasoni, Chapel Island, Paq'tnkek, Membertou, Sipekne'katik and other First Nation communities. I know that I have a lot of good reasons to thrive. First Nation communities have been making measurable progress in reasonable time. They have been working on services, companies, departments and businesses in Eskasoni. Working on their infrastructure. I hope that I could move back and start my own business or company.

I know that I have been introduced, formally to Construction but it seems simple being an labor. It's just heavy lifting and a good deal of fitness while being safe and skilled in building. I could learn a few things from being an labor.

Independence is personal leadership where I take the lead, I take charge in my own health, my own home and my own place I live at. I choose to relax and have my own place cleaned. I know that I did not have any choices when it came to living in Eskasoni. People just wanted to ruin my life in so many ways. But I am paranoid schizophrenic and I have to have supported and assisted living to a degree. So I'll just need a friend to start my day. I know that I haven't the right supports in Eskasoni. Building a professional reputation in We'koqma'q community, I think I have a good deal of professional and business opportunities in Eskasoni. When I had a part-time employment I thought to myself this life is easy. I got no troubles to worry about and I got no bullies or thieves or anything.

I'd moved to We'koqma'q community and got a job at We'koqma'q One Stop. My first real job from We'koqma'q Band Office.

I knew that I had a work term experience, job shadowing experience and a retail job experience. I know that I had a lot of good reasons to stay in We'koqma'q community because of proper supports, economic resources, family wanting to come and see Mawita'mk Society, birthdays and holidays, other clients' birthdays and Christmas bonus, and other benefits and perks I have at Mawita'mk Society. I get all that and plus I get to talk with people that are in the knowing. I don't have to worry about inflation rates or job opportunities.

Getting my fitness means I get to have my second transplant kidney, which means a second life. I get to work on my level of education, training and driving while I live at Mawita'mk Society. Hopefully I don't get too much money from trades. I hope that I could make an impact with my own professional schedule in We'koqma'q community.

Professionally and educationally successful lifestyle is what I want. I want my professional credentials from NSCC and Nova Scotia Apprenticeship Agency in carpentry courses, and NSCC Horticulture and Landscape Technology diploma programs, ISSA-CANADA Cleaning Management Institute courses, Retail Council of Canada courses. I want to put my professional schedule on my smartphone through Eskasoni or We'koqma'q Band Office Google calendar. Work what I can and get what I can from Tim Hortons and other places. That'll be my measurable progress in education/professional world. I know that I have tons of credentials on my wall.

I want to have a professional schedule for these kinds of jobs. Hopefully I can get a good manager or have Rosie or Darlene work out a professional schedule for me tentatively. I could build a professional reputation in We'koqma'q community where I could have a good professional Google calendar schedule. Have a handler/manager of some sorts and work from my smartphone, having breaks and appointments done up without Doctor's note or anything. 

Something with professional efficiency discipline and habits I know that I could have. I know that I have a Wall of Credentials hanging in my bedroom. I know that I have a lot of good moments in Mawita'mk Society. With We'koqma'q Band Office Google calendar professional schedule, I could have a routine of earning my own Direct Deposits and Checks from We'koqma'q Band Office. 

My mother have been redeeming because she has thought of her guilt. God took her away because He said "enough! Come back home, you're not doing a good job". I don't know what the message was with my biological mother. But everyone wanted stressless environment. I should've said something because Dodo left me in this state of hell. 

I know that I've made considerable progress in my due time. And I've learned a lot from experience and verbal teachings and books and booklets and printouts. I know that I have considerable knowledge of carpentry and building principles. I know that I was hated enough to be controlled every steps I've taken to improve on my life. My stepfather may have done a lot for me in ways but denied me essential growing experiences I should've had in my teen years. Like driving and working, not be his personal bitch to be yelled at. I should've had the freedom to have adult conversations about money, sex, licenses, vehicles and jobs, schools, universities, pornography, hypersexuality, addictions and traumas.

I should've had the freedom to work and be employable in every way of my teen life. I am on the second transplant kidney list; I just have to work at eating less which Mawita'mk Society is doing an excellent job at. I have a good life in We'koqma'q community, with Mawita'mk Society because I have a level of education, training and driving experience I could use in We'koqma'q community. I could use my skills to work in We'koqma'q Contracting, We'koqma'q One Stop, We'koqma'q Tim Hortons or Custodial Technician at Theresa Memorial Health Center. Through some of their benefits(and with the aid of Mike MacInnis) I could get ten people to do ISSA-CANADA Cleaning Management Institute courses at Theresa Memorial Health Center.

I know that I have been treated like a pariah because I've been hateful. I know that I'm loved and valued as a family member. My psychohistory of my family knows a thing or two about hate. Learning that they take pride in love and family loyalty. I know that I've been controlled like that. 

I know that de-stigmatizationary process takes time. And learning that family don't want to change. They just want to trauma dump or outsmart each other. It's like competition every where and the unfair part is that nobody works on skills. I know that family don't know Psychology of Prejudice and Discrimination book. I want to read a lot more and continue to build my library up if i do get my own place. I want my place full of personal stuff I could use in my life.