Anti-intelligence and Psychological Oppressionism

I've had a lot of bad experience with women, I know that I've had good experience too. But it depended on the woman that my good or bad time happened. I know that some women wants my money and wants me to be responsible without authority. So I am thinking that they wanted some kind of form of slavery. The works of black people on slavery, discriminations and prejudice is a excellent source of material. Knowing that I had a good collection of books I am reading. 

Learning that women have or might have a bigger role in Christianity. I know that I want to study Greek, Egyptian, Latin, German, Poland and the languages of Earth.

I have a Latin Dictionary, Italian Dictionary, French and I just need German Dictionary, Greek and Egyptian Dictionaries. I have a Latin Dictionary and I don't know where I'd put it. Oh! I found it on my other book shelf.

I have three bookcases and I know that I believe in philosophy of religion. I know it's the intent behind the meaning of philosophy of religion that would seemed to be my driver. 

Learning that there is a philosophy of religion and its careful. I know that I have a lot of good reasons to read non-fiction. To learn how to put the words together in an essay. I know that at Mawita'mk Society I'm spoiled. I don't have any dates but I am spoiled. They want to make sure that I'm better off without women. Knowing that I won't get any country girls because they aren't really around me. Knowing that I have no reasons to stay at Mawita'mk Society. Kind of...

My ability to write came from untouched and untapped sources of inspirations that I gotten from riding and talking. I know that the spell is broken and I'm freed from Dodo's grip. I know that now I have to emotionally repair my relationship with my stepfather.

I have good women in my life where I know that they would want a second chance at building a close relationship with my stepfather. A more honest psycho-historic story of the ideas that Dodo didn't want to put to claim. I know that he wanted to be credited with good positive impacts and strengths that he wanted to be credited with, that is Donald J.  Morrison. I know that my step family has been learning everything about me and I'm tied emotionally to this kind of disastrous betrayal. I know that my mind is forever connected to this thing I've witnessed in my life.

But Dodo broken the spell and set me free. Now I can tell the whole story. I was sexually abused when I was s child addict. Something about the time line doesn't make sense for years because I was hiding. I know that Margo abused me and I had to deal with my shit through cultural knowledge.

When Mike A. Doucette was starting out in Mi'kmaq culture. I know that I was close with Mike Doucette. And learning what I needed to learn I know that I was happy with the women in my life. The good women in my life. When I first moved here I was traumatized, malnourished and lacking discipline which with the proper support, Mawita'mk Society has crafted into a good monthly schedule and routines of the month. I know that I have paranoid schizophrenia and other disabilities. 

I know that I haven't dated over thirteen years because I was focused on my schooling, therapy and good support. Mawita'mk Society has saved me from suicide because I was controlled by the measures of control by Dodo. I couldn't really get my money back because he is a back stabber.

He took my money and wanted more out of me because he is an extortionist. So is my stepfather.

They both used me in extorting money out of me. I know how much they care for me. They wouldn't teach me any trade business/financial mathematics. They wouldn't teach me anything. They have extorted money out of me all those years and did not want me to have proper financial support. Learning that I've been fiscally abused since I was a child addict, I know that I couldn't buy essential stuff like groceries, clothing, winter boots and summer shoes. I know that I had to deal with winter the gard way with them. They claim that they were teaching me a lesson but did not want me to be employed full-time.

Any excuse to economically abused me. And financially abused me. They've socially abused me. And taught me the attitude that social networking isn't worth it. Hopefully I can enjoy friends' birthdays. They've gotten too old too quickly. And I know that I am not welcomed in any old house.

A lot of good women in my life but I just cannot date them. Knowing that I don't fit any criteria or checklist for these kinds of women. 

I know that I don't have any attractive desirability or qualities or characteristics or traits or muscles or height or riches or extra curricular activities or careers. My biological mother has taught me to accept the facts of my life and keep moving forward. Go through what I have to go through and keep moving forward. Just lay them to rest but keep moving forward. She taught me strengths and powers in my own life. Learning what I needed to in my life. I know that I always had choices and powers over my own life.

Yes, I had my dark moments. Yes, I've seen and witnessed stuff I shouldn't of. But I know that I'm secretly hated by certain people in Eskasoni because I wanted to be innocent. They wanted to kill the innocence in me. And learning what I've been through.

I want to do safe business. I don't want to do the risks assessment because there isn't any risks assessment. There is just taking and I want to do some kind of trade business: either landscaping or carpentry. I know that I want to do business I want to do. I know that I don't have any real full-time employment experiences in my life. Well kind of... I took business transactions in my past. I was paid for the jobs I was paid for. Mentally declining and suffering the consequences. Knowing that I needed to get my injections. I couldn't do it on my own so I needed proper support.

Without a car I don't get to drive myself places I want to go. I know that I don't inspire confidence or comforts of trust in my abilities. But I know that people want me to fail miserably and humanly possible. I know that I don't have any jobs in We'koqma'q community. I don't have any proper support in Eskasoni.

Learning that people that self support have knowledge, practical life skills faith in people and have trust all around. I know that I got none of that. And learning that I have no one believing in me I know that I'm stuck here because nobody wants me to satisfy myself, fulfill myself or manage myself. Deeper levels of hatred I know that I'm measurably controlled in every steps I do. But Mawita'mk Society has been feeding me, taking care of me, driving me to places when they feel like and managing my medicine. Yes, I had women schemed off of me but I had good women trying to help me. Knowing that Eskasoni is my hometown I want to move back eventually.

I know that I'm loved and valued here. I want to start a trade business where I have my apprentices and construction crews. I know that my life have been filled with bad women and good women.

That goes for men too, I had good men in my life and bad, dysfunctional men. I know that I've been confused with what's proper and what's right to what's wrong and what's improper. I know that there is a group of people that have wanted the easy life. I've earned my Playstations and video games. I've earned my books and smartphone. I understand that they are suffering addictions and have not really dealt with their traumas. I know that they're minds are dysregulated and dysfunctional. I understand all that, so was my mind too, from traumatic experiences. 

Just because I write something down doesn't mean end all, be all. It's just part of the story and I know that history has a lot to it.

My family has women on them. Girls, female teens and women. I know that I had a lot of good women in my life to balance out the bad women. Mawita'mk ladies and health center nurses have impacted my life.

I know that people aren't ready for my life. I've been learning about mental health literature and coping skills. I know that essentially nobody wants to help out hypersexual people. Growing up in Eskasoni I had to live with both toxic and non-toxic people. I always wonder if Eskasoni could properly support a fellow like me. Stinking thinking was always my weakness and nobody knew what it was here. 

I never had chicks come after me because I know that I'm nothing you these country girls. 

I know that I have twindled my sexual market value down. I know that I don't get to choose my ladies because my stepfather didn't want me to learn about women when I was a teenager.

He'd controlled most of my life by not buying or allowing me to work. Learn the value of money through living my life. Knowing that he was an alpha and did not want me to become an alpha.

I know that he wanted me to suffer for nothing. I learnt my lessons in life where I learnt my limits. That was his family lessons, values and beliefs with me. Real-world applications of my skills and education he didn't want because he wanted to economically abused me, socially abused me, financially abused me, cheat me out of social networking opportunities. And wanted me to suffer more than I can succeed in this life. I did not learned the fundamental principles and values of respect. I'd learnt all that when I was a child addict being sexually abused by Margo. I was learning that he wanted measures of control over my life and so did Curly.

I wasn't given my full English literacy proper intellectual nourishments. I know that they denied me so much that they only could give me small dreams. I know that I was intellectually oppressed by my step parents.

And the family wasn't open-minded. They wanted control too. I know that I couldn't read any literature I wanted because they wanted to have guilt-free powers and tyrannical despotism. I wasn't their child so I wasn't a big worry to them. As long as I was suffering and drinking I was okay. I know that my family and step family did not wanted me to live to the fullest potential of my life. Learning that they are petty and self-righteous. I know that they've ruined my reading experience opportunities in my life. I know that these people in my life did not want me to learn anything. Being anti-intelligent was controlling the information. I know that Curly did not have any faith I'm my ability to tell what's reality right from the start.

Knowing that I was ganged up on and I was humiliated in front of teachers. I know that Curly wanted to put in measures of control over my intelligence gathering. A correct way of thinking? I know that thinking right is what Dodo has specialized in. I know that Curly was anti-intelligence and she had this psychological warfare spell where she wanted measures of control. And she didn't respect me as a heavy weight. 

People wanted me to failed for reasons of being oppressed. And they did not wanted me to thrive in society because they didn't want me to tell the truths of my past. Anti-intelligence was measures of control. I knew that media was going to be controlled. And I knew that conglomerates was going to take over news outlets and government. Learning that Big Business was going to take over. I know that people were going to embarrassed and humiliated me. Power tactics that Curly employed to get her ways. She'd psychologically abused me. 

Being a loner that's financially independent, smart and clever, resourceful and bright. I wasn't allowed to thrive unless I had permission. And knowing that they did assessments of my interests. I know that Curly wanted psychological and influential control. My step family wanted to be powerful. The psycho-historic story of my life have been about abuses and treatments I've received while I was growing up in Eskasoni. They've psychologically abused me, sexually and socially abused me, financially and economically abused me, physically and mentally abused me. Emotionally and spiritually abused me. They've nutritionally and intellectually abused me. 

To function in this socioeconomic reality I have to learn job skills and trade expertise. But my family haven't seen what I've done to the lawn. They haven't seen what I am capable of. My step family have seen an extent of my working performance. I did not want to impress my stepfather because he was an asshole. There was a power imbalance and he didn't want to correct it. 

In this socioeconomic reality I have to socialize to get jobs and transportation. I have to get to know my hometown community. Knowing that I've been controlled and manipulated, oppressed and threatened. I know that Dodo gets away and the step family gets away with so much. I had a psycho-historic story to tell and they didn't want me to: anti-intelligent and intellectually oppressive. 

I know with certain women there is dark psychology and manipulations they do through discriminations and prejudice. I know that Maugit created this place for every disabled Indigenous descendant and survivors. I know that I don't like it when someone claims to be the reason for Mawita'mk Society's existence. I am not a worker but a simple client. And knowing that I don't know these people's lives I know that I'm not a bit curious about them. 

Its a power balance situation. When I want to read when I needed to read; she should've let me read. I had a good Dictionary for vocabulary, I had ideas that I wanted to look up. And it seemed as though Curly was anti-intelligent and with psychological oppressionism I had to deal with my step family in ignorance. 

Intellectual development starts with family's bookcases in each bedrooms. Knowing that I could have proven intelligence and financial independence. I need my step parents to be strong because the one woman that should've mothered me is gone. She was going to get her psycho-historic story. Knowing this I am missing a story of my biological mother. Knowing that I wanted to have my own collection of bookcases in my own bedroom, at my step patents' places. 

Books that could've helped in areas of self improvements of my intellectual developments. Modern life have multiple ways and multifaceted information for human range of intelligence. Knowing that there are mediums and methods of intelligence gathering. 

Knowing that I have intellectual authority. I know that I need to keep learning. I need to keep gathering information. And learn what I can, to ladies from science and future endeavors, to movies and philosophy, from traumatic experiences and influences, to religion and Mi'kmaq culture. I know that I've been learning a lot in my time in Eskasoni. 

Anti-intelligence is the hostility and mistrust of intellects, intellectuals and intellectualism. The intellectually oppressed and deprived me out of every intellectual pursuits I can get my hands on. I know its partly censorship with Curly and yes, I've seen pornography and had sex when I was a teenager. But that did not mean I couldn't learn from Doctors of the field. I did not have any intellectual authority in my life or I would've had my bookcases in my bedroom. Curly loves psychological control and oppressionism.