I Grew Up With Sobriety, Individualistic training, Tolerance, Acceptance, Endurance... and The Skills and Strengths of Suffering

My biological mother taught me virtues, strengths, coping skills, techniques and told me how to deal with certain things. I was taught tolerance, the philosophy of tolerance, acceptance and the psychology of acceptance and open-mindedness, AA sayings and proverbs. I know that I was taught to have a positive concern for others, to lift each other up and to celebrate the small victories. I know it sounds like schizophrenic needs but AA and NA and stuff like that have been teaching tolerance, acceptance, endurance, performance, perseverance, forbearance and temperance. How to take the blow of responsibility of my crimes, how to have a faith of Redemptive works, how to build a happy home, how to work on my accountability when needed. Eskasoni Rehab has taught me so much valuable virtues, philosophies, psychological works and perspectives, and how to keep it deeply real but simple. 

I was taught Mi'kmaq psycho-culturological science of doing the culture right. And learning this I've learned that through my upheavals I was depended on my family. People wanted to keep me quiet and deprived. Depending my biological mother at will and having amenable open-minded readiness to learn and research these things. My power of discipline was so good that I had to simply do and talk. The family duty is determined with the deontological and logical discourse of power with phenomenological systems and psychoanalytic theory of Devotibio. "In technical language, an ego-state may be described phenomenologically as a coherent system of feelings, and operationally as a set of coherent behavior patterns. In more practical terms, it is a system of feelings accompanied by a related set of behavior patterns."

The Morrison family of Eskasoni had a level of relational influences and powers where I couldn't defend myself against their psychological warfare and power of their truths, beliefs and values. The whole system of my egocentric biases have served them well and learning that I don't want to deal wit' them anymore because of such toxic, noxious beliefs, truths and values. Truth in naming what they factually believe in or perceive as truth. They believed in sickening truths and values and beliefs. Or they wanted me to have this hypersexuality, addictions and poverty. They've economically abused me and by their supports I am hated. They could argue and lie and cheat me out of truthology of their psyches.

I know that criminals have fans and supports. Serial criminals. And criminology and truthology are the investigative methods, techniques and tricks of the trade in truthfulness. Every family is fucked up and the Morrison family of Eskasoni have been using intelligent imagination and resourcefulness to escape their punishments. Knowing that these people of their support systematic organization in different First Nation communities and non-native communities wants to torment me. I am that degree, caliber, length, scope and depth of animosity, that hated and disliked. 

I am only liked because I am weak, vulnerable and isolated. Trapped with addicts of Eskasoni, The Morrison family of Eskasoni and Mawita'mk Society. Learning that's how I am liked: to be mistreated, abused, discriminated, manipulated and humiliated by bullying addicts of Eskasoni. My friends... ah my friends! I've learned that I have a dysregulated and dysfunctional relationships. And I know that I an learning to build up my money. I am learning to say no to people. And it's a good practice. 

The dysregulated and dysfunctional parts of the relationships are financially they have been paying me back. But I get little money and I need it to pay for my smartphone. Learning that I've been through humiliations and manipulations over the years in Eskasoni. Knowing that I need more research and training. I hadn't the training yet. But I know that my stepfather didn't protected me over the years. That's his moral cowardice: not speaking up. 

Devotibio is the part of a psyche where relational energies is at and how certain people subconsciously affects us, with criminologically situational forces or relational influences or disabilities. Learning that my mind is more independent than the community. I know that doing the deeds has been largely part of my personal journey of truthfulness. Loving the facts that reality is inescapable, inevitably coming and inscrutable. I know that Dodo has been a moral coward for years and is still probably one. He doesn't want his truths displayed but he wants my truths displayed. 

Learning that this is a power play from one of his playbooks like the government of Canada. I know that I have learned all his moves and he has been mimicking the government of Canada. I know that there hasn't been his exposure to truth and I know that I've been shamed because I'd fucked his daughter which he is sucking up to. I know that some of his supports are twisted much as he is and I know that I have to be on guard and protect my sanctuary. I know that I don't know his supporters and learning that I don't have his supporters' trust. I know that they want me to suffer it out and loose on the account that they have habitually support him in his toughest battles. 

Dodo focused on me to corrupt me to his truths, beliefs and values. I know that once an addict, always an addict. I won't stand idly by and wait for my own demise. I know that certain pervertic moral cowards are in my life and they meant to make it a pointless and meaningless thing. The cheating and lying. But I've been getting over the residual energies of the past because I know that I haven't gotten that much luck in my life. I know that if I could've stayed in Eskasoni I would've. I know that I don't have any copyrighted and published works. I know that is a possibility and I want to work on my flashdrives. I know that I need to keep busy because my mind goes dark to an extent. 

I know that I used to have floppy disks and I know that I still collect CDs. My days are becoming more and more better each day passed on by. I know enough to appreciate my time in We'koqma'q community. I don't think I'll be moving to Eskasoni because Eskasoni has those kinds of repeaters, recidivistic criminals or career criminals have fans and supporters in Eskasoni and I don't think I'll be watching this fall apart. Chief Leroy doesn't want that to happen and yeah, I should've told him that I wanted an apartment when I was living I'm my own hometown apartment. 

Rob Shipley didn't want me to live in peace in my hometown apartment. He is a career criminal that have gotten away with so much. Learning that my step family don't want me to move back to Eskasoni. I know that I've experienced abuses and discriminations in Eskasoni for many years. Considering that I couldn't really rely on anyone. I was kind of forced to party because I was outnumbered with how many people wanted that house. It was a shit show when I got that house and it's still because my sister Billie Jean wants that house. I know that Charles snuck in the deeds and I know that he was stealing that house. I know that i should've defended my house and cleaned it. But the Morrison didn't want me to be empowered and have domestic authority to kick people out.

I know that assertiveness and numbers game was their corruption. I was seriously hated because I couldn't keep that house in my family's name. I couldn't really enjoy that house because everyone wanted it and I couldn't really protect it because people didn't let me work out. Billie Jean would rather believe that I had some kind of domestic authority and respect. I know that people didn't want me to claim my respect. They kept me weak because they are moral cowards. I know this because I'd experienced discriminations, manipulations, beatdowns and debilitations and stuff like that. 

I felt that kind of stress and responsibilities of protecting my place. Now I want to move back and have better security measures and measures of protection. Nobody is my friend and I know that I don't have any step family wanting me to have that house. I know that I am hated and they lie and cheat because they think that they have rights. I know that I don't have control over my own life because my step family haven't let go. I wanted to live with my real father when I was five years old and they didn't want to let me. They figure that if I was close that they could keep an eye on me. 

Tolerance of shame and guilt. I know that Dodo was that moral coward and probably still arguing back because he wants to feel like a gangster. Fucking faggot wants to destroy me and have no respect for molesting me? I want that self control where I could manage and run my own brain. Learning that wasn't what Dodo wanted or Billy Aquan. I know that I couldn't really escape those memories of that kind of trauma. I know that there isn't any respect because they are moral cowards in almost every way imaginable. 

My thuggish friends shown me love and respect. I know that I wanted to live my life in peace and peace wasn't going to happen in that house. My sister would want that house and my step family, cheaters that consider me as a friend and manipulators that are fair-weather friends. Everyone kept an good eye on me and wanted me to cough up cash when they nee3ded it. So I was financially abused and economically abused. My thuggish friends keep me true and straight on my goals and path of hustling and scheming. I know that to me, secretly, scheme was work plan to earn money. I know that people that wants me to forgive them, is my thuggish friends who have beaten me. Like KJ Francis (bloge) who wants me to relax and chill. I know that I have accepted and gotten over the grief and pain of Eskasoni. 

Re-learning to live in peace I have to have my own beliefs, truths and values. I know what I should value and protect. I know that people wants me to give up easily and amenably. I know that they want me amenable and affable so that way I don't have any defenses and self protections. I don't want to move back to Eskasoni because I ain't done with We'koqma'q. I know that I want to live my life in We'koqma'q, First Nation. There is confusion where I live and hopefully I can keep them confused, I know that I don't have any practiced skills for self assurance. I know that I had to make my own life in We'koqma'q community because people here are narrow-minded. I know that I cannot enjoy myself because there are people that don't want me to use my personal stories as a good thing. 

They are stuck-ups here. They want to pettily get away with stuff and they want me involved for humiliatory reasons. I know that I got friends in Eskasoni but they cannot stop everyone. They cannot protect me forever and I know that I am a sinner. I know that people here don't want that and especially people that are non-native. 

I was working in my teenage years with my stepfather's list of chores and jobs around the house. I knew how to fix certain things and I know from bloodline family members. I'd learned Evil Dead from my side of the family. I gotten quality time with family because I know that I was happy and well fed with cigarettes, weed and money. My stepfather had a banking system that I wanted to benefit off of. I know that I had good relational influence from my friends. My step uncle Dodo owes me money and he won't pay me back because he is a moral coward. I know that I was making money since I was a kid and there is a lot of people that owes me. 

From my bloodline I'd learned the culture and tradition. I know that I'd learned about plumbing. I'd learned dry-walling and floor fixin'. I know that I'd learned about the freshest music and good songs from MuchMusic. And I'd learned from MTV and stuff like that. I grew up with sobriety and learning individualistic training. From my bloodline family I'd learned about carpentry and painting, hustling and pop bottle pickin', small engine repair and other repair works. I know that I have a lot of skills repertoire. I just need to activate my memories. 

The right Morrison family members have taught me that the righteous path. I know that certain family members I can trust but not blindly. I have sisters to put me in my humble acceptance. I know that I need to take it down a notch to make my mind believe I've done wrong.