I Am Spoiled at Mawita'mk Society

I cannot create a paradise like this in Eskasoni. I would have to get two full-time employments because of the inflation rate. I know that treacherous inflation rate has increased and is fickle at the moment. I know that I don't have my second transplant kidney but I have the Mawita'mk Benefits Package and Services. I know that I get support for my goals and have a good attitude towards my goals. Mawita'mk Society provides stability, capacity, capability and ability and supports and services to me. They are the well respected place of disability and accessibility. I know that here I'm loved and accepted, well respected and well informed, valued and appreciated, important and with meaning I am learning. I am motivated to learn because of where I live. Psychologically I want to be self-sufficient and self-dependent. I know that here I could build my economic resources, business and economic wherewithals, business connections and more in We'koqma'q community. I am learning interdependence where I could share my skills set and repertoire to the cultural community. 

Learning that I could reinvent myself and I have, I know that I'm still wanting to develop and grow personally because Mawita'mk Society is a safe place. It's where I could make sound judgment and seize business opportunities in We'koqma'q community. I want to make a good impression that I'm good. In years I felt like a stupid loser/putz. But I have had my shopping spree because I was expected to die, I was paying off my shopping spree and packs of smokes by doing pop bottles chore, yard work experience with my stepfather and house chores when the family was gone for the day. I was earning my way as a teenager because I could've done more. I wanted to invest in eBooks for the family's computer, invest in my laptop and bookshelves in my own bedroom. 

Knowing that I price my own services. That's how I work because that's why my stepfather wanted me to have that kind of selling technique and marketable, employable kind of services. I know that I was being that kid who did learned but priced everything. I don't have to do that anymore because I could get a full-time employment in We'koqma'q community. Have my money saved up, have a good truck or car, have my own hustle in We'koqma'q community. I have to sale my butlery and laboring because my housekeeper's skills are life skills my step parents have taught me. I could be a handyman, yard laboring and housekeeper certified. 

I have NSCC Construction Trades Labor Certificate of Accomplishment credential which means that I did the work necessary for their tests, lesson plans and requirements of their NSCC Construction Trades Labor program. I know that I have all these skills that I'll need to practice on. I have the temptation of going back to liquor, beer and wine. I know that I was learning to be a responsible addict, leaving people alone and working on blueprints on my own place. Socially I want to make connections with my BA degree program and jobs that I used to have in We'koqma'q community. Hopefully I can do my personal duty and touch of professionalism, proficiency and competency in my job. 

I know that I could get my own full-time employment at Eskasoni Band Office. Hopefully I can be Community Coordinating Business Trades Liason between Eskasoni and We'koqma'q community. Hopefully I can have a good thriving business deals and understanding of the Economic Development in my hometown. But I need to lose the weight to an ideal weight where I could get my second transplant kidney. I could get my BA degree program. Hopefully whatever I'm supposed to get in my program, I hope that I could get Communication skills. I know that BA degree program with Psychology and Addiction majors is what I want to do. 

I cannot re-create the paradisiacal sanctuary that is heaven in We'koqma'q community, in Eskasoni community because I got no powers or financial independence to pay people to redesign my old place in Eskasoni. Hopefully I can get a good full-time employment while I get my full driver's license. I want to move back to my old place where I would use my money in bills, subscriptions and rent. I'll need to practice my job in Eskasoni Band Office because I want to move back home. Learning that Interagency is what have put me here. Everyone claims for my own choices in moving to We'koqma'q community. 

Knowing that Gordon would try to dominate my life. I know that I'll have a better life with my sister, her husband and cousin Bernice. I know that I don't have any respect in a normal way because everyone wants me to be like Gordon. I know that Mawita'mk Society spoils me but I have to see pass that, have the readiness to do without Mawita'mk Society. I have to outgrow and re-acclimated to my hometown in a better way. Learning they want me to accept the status quo, be happy where I'm at and have no work plans or jobs lined up, or have any place set up. 

I know that I have to walk to the Band Office and learn of it's online ecosystem. Hopefully I can have that kind of sensitivity in the job market with strong-minded mindful distress tolerance. Hopefully I do thrive in Eskasoni because I am paranoid schizophrenic. Whatever I could do with a BA degree credential I hope that I could build my economic resources in Eskasoni, build business connections in We'koqma'q community and Eskasoni, have the wherewithal to figure out how to coordinate good business and Trades. Nobody in We'koqma'q community wants me to thrive on my own. In Eskasoni they'd already proven their cruelty. There are weals and woes in my hometown but I seem I want to tell my side of the story. 

These would be my future plans: 1. To lose the weight to an ideal weight and fitness. 2. To get operated on for my second transplant kidney and recover. 3. To work full-time employment in We'koqma'q community and build up the wherewithal to rebuild, redesign and renovate my old place into a two story apartment. The top would be a bedroom with window fans. Hopefully I can put a ventilation in the apartment for a basement and a top level. Maybe I could negotiate a rental agreement between me and the future Landlady. I want to make that place a homey place with a window at the top side. And have a paradise in Eskasoni. 

In Eskasoni I kind of had part heaven, part hell in my step parents' home. I know that I had weal and woe in my life, good and bad, heaven and hell. Which I knew that with my life experience of addictions I could say it was the environment, the people and the vulnerabilities that I needed to get away and Mawita'mk Society for stability, security, capacity, capability, safety and supports that they had in Ni'kinen house. 

But I have to have self faith in my abilities, my financial independence and literacy, my life. I hope that I could have that kind of intellectual self confidence and self-assurance in my knowledge, education and employability. Now I have a level of education, training and driving level where I could work off of in Eskasoni in my future. Rosie isn't spoiling me because she would've made Unama'ki College schedule around my dialysis. 

In a way I am spoiled here. They've wanted me dependent on them and fearful of moving back home. I cannot practice self-reliance because certain people wants me to give in. I am anti-authority in societal, cultural and family prejudicial authorities in the social stratification of classes and socioeconomic status. I don't have any romantic partner because most women don't want me. Learning that I'm not even a choice for sex. I've lived here for fourteen years and no woman wants me. I do have to protect my self-efficacy, self-sufficiency, self-esteem and my own peace. So if they have beliefs about intersexual interactions I say that I don't want it because again, I have to protect my peace. In reality they aren't moralistic authority because everyone in my life are moral cowards. 

Mawita'mk Society provides and creates paradise on these premises. Learning that one of these days I could have the money and means to rebuild a small apartment into a slightly larger apartment. With a basement and second floor. I want to create happy memories in my own apartment. Relax during my weekends and have a good deal of incomes. 

Yeah I am spoiled by Mawita'mk Society and I'm happy. I just think I cannot create a safe home similar to this level, quality and fathom of living in We'koqma'q community than I could in Eskasoni. I have to plan it all out and work on work plans, business plans, business letters, and stuff like that. I know that I have a good life on We'koqma'q community but sometimes I wonder about my possible future with Eskasoni. They'd already proven that they don't want me successful, accomplished and ideally living! I know that I have to protect my peace and learning that some friends are willing to steal from me. I worry about tall bastards raping me since Trent Seven Nicholas raped me. I worry about those kinds of repeats and more abuses and discriminations in my life. 

I haven't learned to control and manage my own brain. I haven't ran my own brain in years. I was told that I did not know how to think by Dodo and the rest of the Morrison family of Eskasoni. Learning that I need Mawita'mk Society's protection, still Dodo could reach me in ways where he could intimidate me. Knowing that he doesn't want to be responsible in covering up my story. I know that Dodo doesn't want me to tell Billie Jean the truths of the past. 

When I was living in Eskasoni I was learning barter system with Rob Shipley. He bartered knowledge for sugar or information bits for a few things. Knowing that I've been ripped off in ways where psychologically I was suppressed, I knew that I had to rely on Rob Shipley for financial reasons. My sisters Billie Jean and Katt didn't liked that because they thought I was spending all my money on him. When we (Rob and Me) had a barter system in place and I was paying him for knowledge. He was surviving off of my doubt of my life skills. I knew that I had to make a lot of good moves, and I did. Rob was toxic because Mari was greedy. But Rob was taking the blows and arguing on my behalf. Which could've been a good barter/bargain skills teaching system. 

In Eskasoni I was sadden because I'd failed the test to live by myself. I was grieving because I was going to move to a group home. Re-awakening my knowledge of life skills and a good sizeable experience in trades and yard work. I knew that I had a good proving to my teachers. The mental controllability in that they needed me to prove to them (to certain people, family and friends) was their way of proving that they'd helped out. 

I was like a malnourished, stuck little puppy or dog, grown but not able to take care of myself because I was mentally ill. I was 25 years old and I did not have any good supports and help in Eskasoni when it came to business. I knew that I didn't have any good women in my life because most of them wanted to sell what I had. A good woman was far from my reach because of the social stigma of addictions, mental illness and the color of my skin. And because I was disabled person. That stigma alone ran my life.

I know that I could relaxed, be calm and enjoy my computer in my bedroom. While I have Mawita'mk Cybersecurity, I think. I hope that is one of my Mawita'mk Benefits Package and Services. I know that I've been sober for fourteen years, learning that girls wants hypergamous hypersexuality. That's what they mean when they say they want a good boy: an ideal man with minimum health problems, have build up his economic resources and wherewithal, have business connections and a level of education, training and driving level where he could work on in the future. I know this because I had no choices in my past. Learning that they rather have my domestic instability, insecurities and fears, with no security and safety in my home. Learning that I don't have any respect because I haven't earned my reputational respect. Remembering how I used to have to make choices that would mean that I got a criminal element. 

I want to earn enough Carpentry Apprenticeship hours to work with Ron Kehoe. He was high quality and yeah, I am willing to make the quality of personal touch to my proficiency. Hopefully I can earn my touch in Indigenous Trades expertise. I know that I want to have my own JPL Landscaping and General Contracting business. Hopefully I can make a professional touch to my business a good geophysical and geochemical kind of understanding to landscaping. I want that kind of geobiological and biology of plants and fruits and vegetables. Hopefully I can learn from the best of the best, earn my personal/professional reputation to my own business. 

I want to be certifiable and licensed professional driver, plowdriver and a personal driver. I know that I want to have a bunch of good incomes and business opportunities in We'koqma'q community. Renovational offers and landscaping. Focus my business in First Nation lands and communities. Hopefully I can have a good deal of positive progression and help in my own business. I want to reach yearly milestones in my own business. Hopefully I can work on certain educational understanding of landscaping, dendrological understanding of Carpentry and with a builder's mentality of estimates and cost. I want to have a good deal of reputational/professional success and respect. 

These are my future business/Apprenticeship goals. But I am set up for Unama'ki College to get my BA. I just got to earn my ideal weight to get operated on. That's my present goals, to build my muscles up. Hopefully I can work on my body because I need to get to an ideal weight level with my body to get operated on. I have a good life in We'koqma'q community with Eskasoni school board funds. I just got to lose the weight and I hope that I could work on my body with determination, motivated effortfulness and vigor. I just got to get my NSCC Horticulture and Landscape Technology diploma, NSCC Carpentry credentials and Red Seal papers through Apprenticeship programs. 

Hopefully I can fix my PC. I'll need to get professional with online knowledge. I know that I could learn off of YouTube or Internet. I know how to do the start-up. Hopefully I can get a good understanding of my own Windows 10 Pro computer. Understanding that I just got to read it and watch the YouTube tutorials on Windows 10 Pro. I hope that I could get a good visual, reading and Audible understanding. I hope that I could build a good professional understanding of my own computer. 

Learning to accept, appreciate and love Mawita'mk Society for everything that they are. I had fourteen wonderful years at Mawita'mk Society. I know that I could trust Mawita'mk Society to defend me in any argument. And knowing that I need to live my life in ways of beadwork, woodwork and other works. Knowing that Mawita'mk Society provides the professional stability, security, safety, basic needs met, online life and a good deal of food cooked. I know that I have a lot of good examples, experiences, evidences and wisdom to stay here. Knowing that I need to live my life according to the seven sacred teachings, the Twelve Traditions and Steps, and according to NA and AA. 

Mawita'mk Society has increased my quality of life with a bunch of good reasons to live at Mawita'mk Society. Sometimes I want to move back home with my level of education, training and driving level where I could work on in my future. I hope in 5 years I could lose weight to my ideal weight and fitness. I know that I have Richard Simmons kind of muscular endurance and strength. 

Live the fact that Mawita'mk Society takes me out every Fridays. I have dialysis three times a week, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. Mawita'mk Society's level of respectability, level of protection, level of security and communal safety, level of professional/reputational stability, my basic needs are met here, online life and a good outdoors life. I know that I'm enrichen with life experiences, level of education, training and driving level, have a good head on my shoulders and want to continually and self-perpetuatingly improve on everything I do in my life. I am goal-minded with Mawita'mk Society because they'd shown me what going out is all about. I am richest with family n' friends, colleagues and co-workers, with stuff in my bedroom and good stuff happening in my life. And because I have everything I want at Mawita'mk Society.

I just need to build my economic resources, business wherewithal, grow my business connections and increase my quality of life in We'koqma'q community, with Mawita'mk Society as I grow into a BA educated, Red Seal Certified Tradesman. Hopefully. I want to build my own business from scratch, using Mawita'mk land in my future. 

I don't like being told what to do but I could share my issues with trust with Mawita'mk staff. Learning to trust again, I hope that I could build my own business Office. Or organize my living room place into a small office. Hopefully I can get Mawita'mk apartment and build that into a business habitat. 

Yeah it's a good place but sometimes I wonder if I could thrive ideally in peace. Learning that I could very well get discriminated against professionally. I know that I don't like talkative people. I would engage but they mostly talk about gossips and the latest bad news. Rock n' roll, heavy metal have good benefits to listening. I believe in rock. I know that people that are stuck in their generation or genre, is people that want me to empathize with because they don't want to empathize, or understand the benefits to rock n' roll. 

They always cook good meals every supper time. They celebrate my birthday every year, they get me ready for Christmas bonus and Christmas with family. I have a lot of good positives, benefits, perks and pros, a lot of good reasons, evidences, examples, experiences to live in We'koqma'q community. I want to have a good life in We'koqma'q community so great that my best memorable moments in We'koqma'q are in We'koqma'q community. I have lived here for fourteen wonderful years and had a bunch of good moments in We'koqma'q. I am spoiled by Mawita'mk Society and hopefully I don't get too spoiled. I want to earn some things in my life.