Social Psychology: Relational Influences and Persuasions? Unofficial Counseling, Social Dynamics and Lies. Under The Disguise of True Individualism in Independence

My life have been a moral mess since I learned about addictions in my childhood. I did not have any chances of being able to enjoy anything with my stepfather. But I know that I was losing track of time when I was in Eskasoni. I think I'm acclimated and well adjusted to life. I know life skills and what cleaning tools I'll need for my own place. I don't want to move back to Eskasoni because I'd lost so many things in Eskasoni because people kept on stealing from me. I don't care who was my best friend, they are esurient and backstabbing. I know that people have secret identities and they don't care who I am. As long as I can provide the goods for them. 

My stepfather wants me to give up my dreams of building a good life in Eskasoni. Learning that I don't have any sorts of safety or money saved up, I know that people wants me to be vulnerable and isolated from friends and family. I know that I have family n' friends but that's not enough. I've made too many enemies in my time. I know that I need to work on my philosophy of suffering and redemption in my name of Syliboy. I know that I need to work within those potentialities of my writing skills. I just need to figure out what is philosophical historiography in social psychological works in a Indigenous descendant's life. Especially a paranoid schizophrenic native of the Cape Breton Island. 

What virtues and lessons have I'd learned about my culturology? What folklore and customs have I've learned from my traditions? I have cultural, traditional, family and religious beliefs and values that create my holistic health care identity as a Mi'kmaq. Learning extreme and deflected accountability of my true individualism of independence. I'd learnt that the neuro-socio chemistry of my crimes have been ignored, argued against and truly dissuaded and lied about. As well denied and repressed in ways. My family didn't want any responsibilities of my crimes, indiscriminate hypersexuality and addictions they've created because they've created that kind of psycho-sexual vulnerabilities in me. Under the disguise of true individualism of my own independence, I'd learnt they are moral cowards because they taught me that I was fully responsible in my own corruption, lowering of moral status and immorality. 

To what extent my true emotional/spiritual individualism of my independence is my accountability? What deontological obligations do my family's influences and relational persuasions they have? They are convincible and controlling of my mind since I was a kid. Through prejudicial authority they have been stereotyping, accusing and self-prophesying my insanity, my addictions and poverty. Intergenerational ageistic authority have been telling me that I was going to die. I was going to fail since I was a baby and kid. I wasn't learning true independence and true individualism because they want imbalanced powers and hyper-independence on my part for their tests and lies. Learning that I've had to go through my own head for this information. Pettiness have ruled the family and through this kind of hatred and multi-generational prejudicial authorities, I have to hold these memories and put in measures the necessary coping skills I need for their lies about caring and love. 

They'd would've learned their own fucked upness and unfuck theirselves. But they haven't want accountability, obligations, duties and responsibilities, and consequences of their pettiness over child molestations of me. Nobody wants that kind of responsibilities, obligations, duties, accountability and consequences. They want the credit but unwilling to suffer for it. 

I know that social psychology wasn't a thing my family, my step/mixed(adoptive) family and my extended family(from Mawita'mk Society) wanted me to know at first. But as I progressed intellectually in life I've been learning about my collection of books and collectibles I have in my bedroom. Like the normal good/bad dichotomy isn't the right kind of thing to be using because of certain systemic prejudicial authorities, professional prejudicial authorities and family despair for justice. How justice is blind for Indigenous folks and learning how women operate with bare minimum efforts of being educated about First Nation communities. 

Well they've been learning how we operate under the Indian Act. And learning that we need more political/RCMP freedoms. I know that I had to stay here because I cannot join the peaceful protests that have been violently dispersed. At first they didn't know how we operated but as time flies by; these relationships (Mawita'mk staff) have been freeing me from my darken past and redemption's light is shone through Mawita'mk group home. Learning that because I want to use my obedience virtue/coping skills and learn their life skills and routines. I know that I have job-related life skills education from my stepfather. Everything I'd learnt from Mawita'mk Society, was amenability to the right person and obedience to certain workers. Have to train the new workers. I know that tolerance and the philosophy of suffering and tolerance have been integral in my moral development. 

But the individualism training that my step uncle have been teaching me, was making him faultless and bear no responsibility on his relational influences and persuasions. What's the neuroethical implications of social/family psychology that needs addressing in intersexual dynamics? What relational influences and persuasions do they have, that have been to some extent, degree, calibre and depth, their fault of my down fall? Dodo is such a moral coward; his anxieties would compelled him to act impulsively to harm me. His damages and no resourceful beliefs, strength-based approaches, useful suggestions and faith-based works and psycho-historic coping skills was his answer. There had to be an moral imperatives where I was afraid for my life, fear of God compelled me to agreed to such terms of blind amenability, convinced controllability and my malleability. I know that obedience is a virtue but forced obedience is Dodo's specialty. The Ideal Male Obedience was forced obedience from dispositional bias and egocentric biases that are yet to be identified. 

What are the moral imperatives, family importance and consequences I had to learn from my immortal crimes? Dodo have thrown me under the bus so many times to make himself look good, that I don't think he has considered his influences and persuasions. Learning that Dodo didn't want any responsibilities and he wanted to deflect any psycho-socio-sexual relational influences and persuasions. He thought he could stress me out and mistreat me in ways of humiliations. Dodo never wanted my true individualism of my independence because he wanted blind amenability, Ideal Male Obedience, relational convinced malleability and extreme truth-bending individualism on my part. 

I believe in my moral individualistic knowledge but I know that Dodo would plausibly deflect, deny, lie and manipulate the situational forces into what he believes in. Dodo, Corey and Ray took an interest in my sexuality, wanted vulnerable indiscriminate hypersexuality under the disguise of true individualism of my independence. Work my urges and desires, ruin whatever self obedience I had to leave that situation. And keep me under their thumbs. Of course I grew out of it and upon examining my life, reading my books and eBooks, I have discovered that there was relational influences and persuasions on their part that have let me to a vulnerable, indiscriminate hypersexual state. Coming back from the ideas and principles to leave a situation; Ray, Corey and Dodo didn't want to leave me alone. Those girls didn't want me and they sure as hell weren't interested in having sex with me. 

So to spare my humiliations I wanted to leave. Dodo didn't want that nor did Ray or Corey. This isn't a labor of love, it's mostly me tolerating my embarrassments and humiliations that I've suffered that night. I know that I wasn't going to get my true feelings because I lived a life in a lie and whatever relational influences and persuasions there was; I had to bear alone because my bloodline family didn't want anything to do with me. 

But as I'd learnt that no woman or girl wanted me. I still have to live my life alone and always be my own brain. After what I've done already, I know that most of the action I've done is my fault. I know evil and people don't care. But on some level, part or caliber there have to be faults on my step uncles because that's social psychology. What's socially possible and what's healthy for me. 

To what social neuroethical realities are out there? What are the Normal Egocentric Biases? What are the Criminological Egocentric Biases? Learning that he has created the feelings of having hyper-independence in my hypersexuality. He knows he is guilty because he doesn't believe in normal child discipline. His mother did but not him. The ideas that I could get laid wasn't possible because of lack of sexual interest in my body. I know that hypergamous hypersexuality and hyper-independence was his goals. I had to settle for less because my step family/mixed family(adoptive family) have wanted me to be busy with girlfriend at a young age. 

Learning that hyper-independence doesn't rely on anyone and I have a extreme truth-bending individualism, self-reliance and sense of self-preservational independence. I know that I had to learn intergenerational socio-cultural  interdependence from Eskasoni Rehab and family. Dodo have manipulated my sense of self-sufficiency because he wanted the faults of his relational influences and persuasions to be ignored. Learning that I could destroy somebody with this kind of essay and thesis. I know that an expositions of my psychological theories can help me in determining my own searches and learning that everyone has problems and family drama. I know that in detail of this blog I hope to create a autobiography and a thesis, essays and expositions of my theories. 

It was under the disguise of true individualism of my independence that he has created a sense of hyper-independence. Learning that I had to unfuck myself and live with my memories; I know that I'm strong-minded and clearn-minded. I know that mindful meditation works and my coping skills I'd learnt from Mike MacInnis, Eskasoni Rehab and family. I know that Dodo tried to fuck me up right deadly. He tried but there are self-help books out there. There is therapy and in this true range of individualism,  of my independence I know that I am in charge of this body and self love. Everyone of the Morrison family of Eskasoni wanted me more fucked up than them. Billy Aquan, Dodo Aquan, Chuck Aquan and Gordon Aquan/Gordie Morrison/Gord. I know that they wanted a smug of superiority over me. 

Doing it right means I have true personal powers. That I could connect meaningfully and emotionally to somebody. Learning that they have labeled me ingrate; I know they are still using their names as a clean image. They have to be considered good people so that way they could hide their pedophilia. They know that I cannot accept my past the way that they had it. Because I know that they are moral cowards of me. Gordon is used of being discriminated against. So are the Morrison family of Eskasoni. I cannot expose or exploit their supremacy because they are forever favored by certain  people. Truth is an offense and they have to keep me where they must. Moving forward with my life I have to expose the family. For all their bad and good too.

True independence is limited because of the moral cowardice of the Morrison family of Eskasoni. Who have been intimidating the truths, have been controlling the memories, have been wanting blind amenability. That means I have to put trust into them completely and blindly. Do you know what I know? Silence is paid because schooling hasn't no value in my life. Learning that's how the Morrison family of Eskasoni wanted me to suffer. They use the philosophy of suffering and tolerance for their selfish lies. 

But that's one side of my life in a lie. My sexuality wasn't a thing of true nature because Dodo hated me. Learning that I've been blessed with stuff that God sucker-punched my stepfather into. I know that it wasn't my time and I will, visualized and imagine my recovery and first transplant kidney. I was suffering my physical fitness because I needed to grow muscles from yard work and house chores. 

A little neuro-psycho-historic truths; at that time I needed to use my coping skills and virtues to morally develop and personally grow from tradition. I needed moral imperatives and to let the truths settled. But I'm just saying they could've came from a strength-based approaches, resourceful beliefs and useful suggestions, and a peaceful protests. But according to Dodo this was the quickest because this was all he knew. He never grew up in a safe world and learning from my (adoptive) step/mixed family have had their hurdles and downs. More alternatives and the skills to derive from the plus and negatives. I know that I'm part of school/new school. Reconciling my past was the grandest of them all. I knew meanings of suffering, tolerance, acceptance, prudence, diligence, patience, fortitude, endurance and strength. The hypersensitivity of online life isn't what I want; I want to lemgthen my life skills repertoire and freedom's rings of independence. Self-sufficiency has been something of an old battle. 

Hold my breath as I wish for death. I have heavy emotions and heavier regrets. I know that shame was my comfortable hell I was in because at least I knew where I was. I knew those neuroethical imperatives and psycho-sexual skills of coping. I knew that I was learning about emotional literacy and how that would affect me through my epinoia. I knew that I am growing intelligent imagination and resourcefulness. To say that Dodo was right at that time, was to say that I was wronged in my self analysis. This is my examined life worth living. This is the heavy weight I have to carry. 

I am generationally living here. I know where my family pride is; this life that I kind of hate/love. I know that in Cape Breton I love this cultural community because I am a proud Mi'kmaq. I've learned from my past and pure black looking clear in my lungs one time ago. But now I am making progress in my past and I know that I've been shameful and wrong. But I know that I've been right and on spot. I know my woes and weals in my own life. Knowing that I've been discriminated against and abused over the years. I know that I had right treatment and good relationships in my past. My family n' friends may be dysfunctional but they are unfucking theirselves. 

The child molestations that I've suffered. I know that Dodo have covered up like a moral selfish coward. That's why I have to carry such heavy weight to my grave. They themselves don't know how I feel, how in the hell am I supposed to feel? Could you imagine the Alexithymic Profundity of Deep Disassociation, Lostness and Hurt I've must've felt when I first had my heart broken? How could they fathom my deepness? The realness of my multi-generational prejudicial authorities I had to face in my childhood. The types and fathomably deep psychological warfare problems and family drama I've faced. The level of control they had over me when I needed to find myself. Billy Aquan was selfish and so were the Morrison family of Eskasoni. They didn't want to let me go! 

I know that I don't want to admit I've been abused. But I am glad that I got these lessons of life skills, moral virtues and cooing skills. Here I am generally happy that I live here and have a good rocking life. I have apps and protection. Happy that I was taught to think for myself morally. Everyone probably indulging in hypergamous hypersexuality. And I know that I've been learning and understanding what traumas that could affect situations and personal growth and personal leadership. 

With cheating with my biological mother and the cover-up in sequence of child molestations they've covered up. I know that adults around me could be moral cowards in so many ways. The Morrison family of Eskasoni have been specialist in deontological deflections, plausible deniability, moral manipulations and psychological warfare holds. Her legacy was moral cowardice because I know that I was brave enough to point out their mistakes. Dodo gotten his way and damaged me throughout my life. He doesn't know how to approach this the right way; his right way, his range of truths and beliefs and values but not the right way. I have to discover that on my own. I still need Mi'kmaq culture, family tradition and religion. I still need to understand my own heritage in ways where I couldhave moral imperatives. 

But I know now I had good memories and wonderful experiences at Mawita'mk Society. I know that it's going to keep going like this; getting better and edifying and educating and learning. I am not rushed at Mawita'mk Society to do certain things. My former life experience in Eskasoni had been educational but in a very complicated way. I know that addictions and boredom goes hand in hand. And I know that pain and trauma have been a beacon of reminders, of how I felt diseased and hurt. In We'koqma'q community I feel kind of like I need to reclaim my independence. But that's because I've been living alone for many years in Eskasoni and wanting to put stuff in my place, upgrade and update my future/old place, wanting to get my BA degree program. 

I know that living in We'koqma'q community I have a bunch of good reasons to stay and keep on building a good life. I have good friendships in Eskasoni; the bloges and other family n' friends I gave with my age group, kind of. I know that's what trauma made me feel; all these feelings and thoughts. I had a dysregulated mind and I had to learn to unfuck myself from Audible and therapy. I know that historic grief was there, my biological mother's death and that was the biggest loss I had. But the second biggest loss was when I'd lost my sanity and home. That upset me and I was pissed off for a while that I wanted to move back to either Leonard Paul's apartment building or Rosie Basque's Bachelor pad apartment. I didn't get the chance to put stuff in my apartment because there was addicts and thieves still lurking around. 

Dr. Gabor Matè have been an Addiction Specialist and approaching medicine in a different light. With the Two-Eye Seeing philosophy we can create a better intelligence of diagnostics and psychodiagnostics, that medical science can make waves in Canada and America through Two-Eye Seeing. We could develop a better human relationship with medical science and traditional medicine. Knowing this I could use Two-Eye Seeing philosophy as a means in my psychological theories and being and biases. But Dr. Gabor Matè have been more sensitive to the needs of human interactions and treatments. Learning to relight the passion of human interests in the medical field. And to develop a good lense or way of seeing, which I suggest Two-Eye Seeing philosophy. 

The power of addiction is terrible but the addiction to power equally worst. Dodo had been impacting my psycho-linguistics (sense of meanings and words) since I was a little kid. And my biological mother have cheated me out of my right to claim such powers. Which Dodo has been lying about the moral imperatives that are necessary to have full effect. Which was him and my biological mother cheating. They covered up in sequence of my abusers' crimes. My abusers have hid my memories in ways that would seem like a smooth transition or seamless cover-ups. 

Learning that family dynamics is important and I have that kind of moral imperatives to study, read, search, investigate, research and learn what I can in my spare time as a sober person. For the self improvements, and edification of myself, for my future family. I know that on my spare time I need to do my blog and read when I can, for the betterments of my own mind. That way I could be prepared and ready for family life of my own one of these days. But I know that I have created enough enemies in my time in Eskasoni to squash that dream of having a peaceful, thriving and loving family. 

I don't think I've wanted to live that kind of life where I destroyed whatever dreams was there. I know that I have been wanting to learn and work within my realm of possible long-term monogamous relationship. I was thinking that I'd invest myself in an egocentric biased way of loving my family through marriage. Because I know that marriage is the biggest ego-states investment for me. I know that I don't got any good role models or good reputation. Learning that I have different ideas on how I should manage my own life. Well I knew that I needed the essentials of life like a job, education, trade and driver's license and car. I want to be financially independent and professionally thriving. 

I want to read and learn much as I can to humanly understand my own situations. I want to be my own skilled psychologist with influences and personal self persuasions. I want to run my own brain which means using life skills in a habitual routine and thinking. I want to adjust to building my own family life in We'koqma'q community, or somewhere else. I know that I'd fucked up first and I know that I need to unfuck myself through hyper-independence eBooks, books and others mediums of information. I want to take the time to think about, with the information and readings I've done, with listenings and watchings. I want to learn so much, the meanings and emotions and stuff. Learn what I can. 

I want to make an syntax of Indigenous social psychological works I want to work on and build in my own academic training. Hopefully I could have friends helping me. I want to read as much as I can, to be the most intelligent person I can be. I want to be financially independent, University educated and field trained, NSCC educated and Certified, Red Seal Landscaper and Carpenter with a good construction workers and team partnerships in electrical, plumbing and pipe trades, Handyman credential and other trades I hope that I could possibly add to my JP Syliboy's Landscaping and General Contracting business crew. I want to have an quality work experience in my landscaping and building experience. 

I am generally happy at We'koqma'q community with Mawita'mk Society. Sometimes I want to simply drive myself and have a BA degree program fund set up for my own Unama'ki College full-time education. I know that I want to make happy memories in We'koqma'q community, I want to build a professional portfolio and reputation with We'koqma'q community or Eskasoni. Loving the life I have here because it's paradise here. I want to create that kind of life in Eskasoni, in my old apartment and have a paradise in my own apartment. The only way I could do that if I build my life in We'koqma'q community. I have to work full-time employment in We'koqma'q community and do weekend Unama'ki College program. 

I am still a young strapping man and I want to build up my muscular physical fitness. I want to have the body of an bodybuilder but a workethic, muscular endurance and strength of a farmer and skilled construction laborer. The reason is that I want to have a good body saying that I am capable and healthy. That I could do it. Knowing my 80s action movies and wrestlers, I always looked up to these guys for bodybuilding. There is so much room for physical self improvements, intellectual self improvements and academic education. Knowing that my life is progressing with each walks I do per day, a good weight-lifting added to my days, maybe I could get my former teenage glory back. I had the muscular endurance and muscular physical strength like a amateur landscaping laborer,  sledgehammering poles in my stepfather's yard. 

I have yard work experience with my stepfather, doing landscaping jobs like raking rocks and lifting big ones, to irrigating the land (which I have no clue on how he did it so quickly) and putting or laying sods (grass-piece/strips) onto the land. And build and repairing porches/patios, decks, garden beds and sheds. I have yard work experience each summer I stay home. I know that I need to put into practice my building skills and landscaping laboring. 

I'd cleaned up pretty good but I don't think I have the capacity to prove that I have knowledge in Carpentry and Landscaping. I don't think I have that self-efficacy, trades confidence and intellectual self-assurance to prove my skills in building. Why I have a project with Mary Agnes and yeah I whimper. I don't have my stepfather here but I have to prove my skills set and knowledge. I am a Certified Skilled Tradesman and I know that I need to work on proving my skills and knowledge. Than again she farted on me and tried to use her agency, ageistic influences and persuasions to make me accept that. 

I want three graduations from Unama'ki College and NSCC Community College. I want the 8 years worth of Apprenticeships in Carpentry and Landscaping. And if I do get professional success and become accomplished in my field. I hope that I old understand better geophysics, geochemistry and geobiology of ground better in NSCC Horticulture and Landscape Technology diploma program. 3 years in NSCC Carpentry programs and 2 years of NSCC Horticulture and Landscape Technology diploma program. Not bad. 

I want to be professionally success at these kinds of expertise in trades. Hoping to build a good professional reputation in a service career where I can do the good work with We'koqma'q community. Hopefully I can get my BA degree program but first I'll need to work on my car and driving goals and full-time employment. I need to save up for a truck and have a good understanding of finance. Hopefully I can go with Blondie Automotives. I just got to lose the weight to my ideal weight for the operation. I have to practice, use and do smart amenability and be careful who I obey. I know that my stepfather's family have gotten away with so much. I just hope that I could have professional success, a thriving business and all my credentials and Red Seal papers in my future, with my full driver's license and truck. 

If I do move back home I hope that I have some money saved up for first month's rent and last month's rent, security deposit and security cameras, groceries and new nail-gun and cordless screw-gun. I hope that I could upgrade and update my rèsumè, portfolio, power tools and gear. I know that I need to build a small garage and shed, put a Spacemaker Washer and Dryer in my small garage, have all my tools hanging in there with a floor plans for heavy tools. And have traditional medicine and a good sizeable, fathomably measured garage befitting a Spacemaker Washer and Dryer, hand tools and power tools, snowblower and weed whackers and lawnmowers. 

When I have accomplishments in my life like my set-up at Mawita'mk Society, my BA Psychology and Addiction majors, my NSCC graduations and Red Seal papers. I hope that I could set up at the back yard here. If do move back home I hope that I could get a house with land to put all my stuff with. I know that I have tears of joy when I get to a level of happiness here that I enjoy. Usually I have good mornings here, that's the common experience here and I could save up much as I can here. But I want to move when I do get financially independent and professionally successful where I have the best industry practices and skills I could use in my job. 

I hate that he is right but my step uncle have given me moral imperatives old school way. Which was called tough loving. He still covered up the lie and my abusers' abuses. Yeah I'm angry at that because he was a moral coward for 30 years. Considering that Dodo and Billy Aquan didn't want to settle this quickly. It had been a 30-year cover up of child molestations against me. 

The cardinal rule by Dr. Rollo Tomassi, who said "the person with the most power, in any relationship, is the one who needs the other the least" and Dodo needed to make me miserable, stuck and habitually thinking about the past. He wanted me abused psychologically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. I've defied and denied him but I was a kid back then. He wanted me to suffer for fucking his daughter while he covered up and hid child molestations that happened to me, while keeping his secret. It took all the psychological efforts of Billy Aquan, Dodo Aquan and my biological mother to calm me and accept my fate in this life of a lie. Nobody wanted me dominated in my own life and everyone was against me. 

Learning what I've held on to and my truths (memories) being repressed, my voice silenced and my ability to express myself in poetry and other ways being controlled by Dodo and others. Knowing that I did not have any support from the Morrison family of Eskasoni for truths and facts being expressed. 

Knowing that the soul-mate myth, that love trumps hate and everyone is honest, wasn't my experience. Everyone lies, cheats and steals. They just don't because they want to shut me up. That way I wouldn't have anything to say. I wasn't safe nor my life encompassed good people. Knowing that this (right now) is the right experience, exposition and feeling. Everyone is an addict and liar or controller or manipulator in psychological warfare operations. Psychology of discrimination and prejudice isn't what I want to learn. But I have to, ta master manipulators in psychological warfare operations.

Hyper-independence is still very much part of the headspace of the life of a lie in my childhood. I know that I've been emotionally and mentally damaged where I've experienced abuses and discriminations in ways where psychological warfare created the violence and necessary enormity to harm and make me feel unsafe, hypersexual and addicted. I was vulnerable in Eskasoni because everyone wanted my life. Psycho-sexually primed for any woman or girl, I knew that I needed to get away from the situation that haven't no neuroethical realities. Dodo have created such a socio-neuroethical reality where I couldn't think right and wanted to leave. 

With my vulnerable indiscriminate hypersexual state, I had to deal with their demands, commands and stressors they have created for my punk ass to deal with. They were using their relational powers and faculties of influences and persuasions to make me this way when I was a kid teenager. Learning that there was no truths or facts being expressed, I'd carried these truths and facts with me because Donald J. Morrison (Dodo/Toto) wanted me to suffer to choose anyone. They knew there was something wrong with me and they still pressed on. 

But as I realized the online hypersensitivity of such matters, I hope that I could learn what they've been through. Hoping to understand my biological mother's position and hoping to read much as I can about the situations I've encountered as a young child addict. I know that I love my family but I have to work on myself. I have to come at this with love and compassion as a psychologist. Hopefully I can understand the significance of their generational history of family psychiatry and social psychology. 

How do I be evil smart in my own life? How can I have such ego-investment into my books, encyclopedias, eBooks and pdfs that I have benefited like I have before from these mediums of information? What goal-state can I benefit from, from reading, researching and searching online about these books and people? The more I read, it seems that the more I think in the right way of love and the seven sacred teachings. These books have used words in ways of being amenable, intelligent and creative enough to learn from certain ways. How do these mediums of information can apply into the practicality of an Indigenous descendant perspective? 

There is a prevailing and pervasive kind of feministic/sexistic psycho-religious/relational stereotyping and prejudice against men trying to figure out how to keep a good long-term, monogamous relationship. There is evolutionary psychological works of how to be and everything, and psycho-historic works of divorced, deepest realities where the ontologically speaking experienced person is not happy how it turned out. And they go suicide. The unconscious competence or skill that some people have in their daily lives. I know that I don't believe in the one because it's a sustainable mythology romanticized and idealized in Disney and other movies I was introduced to, that made mythical for years the one love. 

There is a legendary relational influences and persuasions for these kinds of movies in my life. Learning that I have to maintain a feminine belief about love isn't my strong suit. There isn't any happy men who turned Beta has reported happiness and loyalty sustainable to the religious/relational developments of said relationship. I know that love isn't always the true freedom that we all expect it to be. We think that love can free us from our weaknesses and disabilities and vulnerabilities. Knowing my extensive/expensive experience in being alone, I've maintained a life with my own personal headspace of sustainable sense of purpose, dignity of labor and pride in my life. I know that I've worked and developed a business like sense of my sense of personal purpose, business purpose and relational purpose. I know that if someone is toxic they are usually financially abusive, psychologically dominating and maximizing their space. 

Learning my own intrinsic value to a level of education, training and driving level I could teach but I get stressed out easily. I cannot rebuke or reproach anyone in my own class because of the hypersensitivity online and in life. I've known that we had to move from being this loyal and self-sustainable person, to a vulnerable and disabled person women wants me to be because they don't want me dominating my own life. 

Unofficial counseling, social dynamics domino effects and lies, I know under the guise of true individualism of my independence there is some relational influences and persuasions in my life. And knowing that a jail-like, mental prison like the mythological one love have been popular and a prevailing and pervasive kind of feministic/sexistic psycho-religious white lie that I have to abide to because my biological mother's cheating wasn't accounted for. So would say in name of saving face. Have been that recounting of my past experiences with women which was minimal. Women have hypergamous hypersexuality and accessibility to higher social classes that have stripped away any romance if truth-telling was real. 

Like the old saying with Friedrich Nietzsche's "Morality is just a fiction used by the herd of the inferior human beings to hold back the few superior men" but I need to start studying books like this. The most extensive ethics and morals book he wrote was "Genealogy on Morals" or something like that. 

Anyways the marks or symptoms of hyper-independence is 1. "Perfectionism: trying to ideally find the flawlessness of everything in what I do, 2. Overachievement: trying to validate worthiness in external achievements and accomplishments, 3. Avoidance of Intimacy: fear of being exposed and personal with someone would lead to heart-break and suicide, 4. Control issues/obedience issues: having a hard time trusting people and learning my own consequences. I need to control and keep emotional safety protected. 5. Emotional Detachment: not committing fully to people in my life and not learning the value of said relationships because of fear of perceived threats". I've been forced to accept my own family, not the bloodline or extended family but rather I had to learn to deal with their multi-generational prejudicial authorities in family. 

The hyper-independent individual learns not to trust anyone(DTA/Don't Trust Anyone), have a hard time to delegate important tasks and don't form close or long-term relationships or friendships with people. Thankfully I needed control in my life and learning from my friends and family (Bloodline), I'd learned to love again and to put delegations with family. I know that I needed self and family discipline. The power of discipline through emotional intelligence have been something of a old, decaying moral struggle with love and respect. Learning how I was mistreated and abused over the years in Eskasoni when I was a kid and teenager. I knew that I was hated and disliked because I had an older brother. I think I've done in many enemies and not know it. 

A sense of unfulfilled achievement have set in and I have accomplished physically the fitness necessary for my first transplant kidney back when I was a kid. It's easy because you're younger, more confident and self-assured with a sense of self-esteem and self-efficacy. I know that I had a lot of good influences and positive impacts in my life. Like Socrates and Plato, Aristotle and Friedrich Nietzsche. But I also had a sense of purpose that I could say was sustained by family. 

I feel like the significant portion of my life I've wasted my youth and didn't straighten out in time. I feel like I was a putz for the most significant portion of my life because some stupid loser don't have a level of education, training and driving level. I have a morbid past and a terrible reputation in work and other things, so trauma have made me think because it dysregulatedmy mind. I know that I'm not that because I had a shopping spree experience, a good rèsumè with my stepfather and adoptive family, a good portfolio with my uncles and a good understanding of jobs and workloads. I know that everything I had in Eskasoni could be matched by the goodness in We'koqma'q community, by newer and better memories in Eskasoni. 

I know that I could build a good life in Eskasoni with the level of education, training and driving level where I could work on in while I live in We'koqma'q community. Hopefully I can lose my weight to an ideal weight goal and straighten out my time for reading. I don't like to take the time to read that much, I have to recover from my emotionally trained and habitual thinking. I know that reading books can provide information that is key to live by, or something that can help out with living situation. A group home can provide the stability and security needed to live a life. Which is why I cannot move because I would have to give up that stability and security and safety for unsafe environments that certain friends created in my past. 

Stability in life or personal stability is the financial/job/socioeconomic security, firm beliefs and values in domestic living, safe and sound environmental practices and security, peace of mind in life skills education, career skills and routines. Having a good happy home out of safety, basic needs met in this home and protecting a sanctuary in the home. Good Relational supports to maintain peace, harmony and happiness in the loving apartment. I want to prove that I could thrive with the level of proficiency and competency I have now. Knowing that I have no professional pride n' routine, I know that here I'm loved, valued and respected as an individual. 

Learning that the art of conversation is being lost. I know that ladies don't use the art of conversation to stimulate the mind anymore. I had the art of conversation in my younger life. Learning that's how I engage and work within my realm of possibilities in my socioeconomic reality. Personally these women feel insulted if I don't trust them. Learning that they never put in the work to earn trust through the art of conversation. I don't like talking about gossips or rumors. I am trying to find a woman with similar interests and a good head on her shoulders. Hopefully I can find a good woman with traditional/family beliefs, truths and values in her life. Learning to be patient and faithful to the idea of the right woman, well kind of. It's easier that I don't think of it. 

Egocentric biases and dispositional bias have served people well in not empathizing with others in the most intelligent way. Learning that I have no common interests with these Mawita'mk staff, I know that I'm losing the verbal skills in my art of conversation. My Granny, my Grammy and Mummum are gone. There is no one that knows me better than people that have passed on, except my real father. He wasn't amenable and open-minded to being at fault. I know that he has hated me and in turn didn't love me enough to take responsibility. Same goes for certain step family that I have to deal with. Deontologically they are irresponsible and imbalancing me. 

Knowing and learning psycho-musicological diversity in the family. I have similar taste I'm personal musicological evolution, according to my aunties I have to like what they like. And according to my handicapped uncle I'm not supposed to be liking hard rock. Learning that there is no respect for musico-diversity in this step family (adoptive family), bloodline family and extended family. I know with the connections I've made with certain people in my past, I've been taught to live ideally with my personalized library and musicology. I want to move into my own old place and have the wherewithal, means and money to rebuild my own home in ways where I could redesign my own small house. 

Learning that I could build up my socioeconomic resources, economic wherewithal and connections here. Hopefully I can save money I'm We'koqma'q community. I know that I upgraded and updated my bedroom with the latest technology I could use in my own place. I know that I have motivations and determinants to make sure that I return to work. Mawita'mk Society has been using my time to make me work for them. And knowing that I want to build up my money to rebuild and redesign my old apartment. I hope that I could build up the necessary trade connections, prestige, professional reputation, economic resources and wherewithal to make a good home in Eskasoni. I know that I have a lot of good reasons to tear that old home down, with the permission of Rosie Basque. And add a few things of my own imagination.

I trust family to financially abused me in so many ways, I trust the toxic deflections, plausible deniability and shameless lying they do when I confront them about my problems with them. They all are moral cowards and don't respect truthfulness in my life because I am paranoid schizophrenic. Whatever I lose they price it as something. Whatever I do they add more problems to my list if I do get ahead a little. Nobody in my life wants me thriving, fit or anything successful because of their fucked upness in my life. It's toxic that such online hypersensitivity can destroy a life let alone not have a conversation about it. So my emotional traumas have made me think.

There are people that don't want me to succeed in my own life because they are toxic, hateful, wasteful and sicken with what they've experienced. Certain people believe that they don't have to overcome or learn social psychology because they are moral cowards themselves. They try to outsmart truthfulness and knowing that I don't have any supports in a profession, occupations, work, labor and jobs. I know that certain family members wants me to suffer out their prejudicial authorities in naming discrimination against me because they don't have any fundamental respect in the human dignity and life. 

Learning that people will simply hate me because I take pride in my work, have a good understanding of dignity of labor philosophy, have a self-esteem and self-efficacy and sense of purpose. I know that their words isn't what I need. People that do hate me wants me to suffer shames or regrets. That way they could manipulate and intimidate me in ways. They don't want me to use my words in naming their fucked upness. 

My questions are about relational levels of controllability, relational influences and persuasions tactics, relational convinced malleability and blind amenability in name of Ideal Male Obedience. Learning to protect my peace from toxic, using, manipulating and psychologically dominating women. Knowing that I don't have any sort of relationship or respect in Eskasoni. I know that people have argued that I had women and their paranoia have ruined my peace. 

Why do you need such a high level or at any level of controllability over me? I cannot trust fully because once I commit I will develop a blind spot. And women will use that against me. There have been sabotage in developing a good relationship with a good woman. And Eskasoni ladies didn't have that kind of levels in respectability where they were responsible and reasonable. Like Renalda Denny. She tried to humiliate me and had me in a position because I was her neighbor. She maybe be covering up her financially abusing ass and addict/fiendish ways because she is sick of her life in Eskasoni. 

I understand that I have to have professional treatment but to what extent am I supposed to? I know that Rosie said that I have a level of independence that I could simply develop a routine with. Learning power of discipline through books and to build effectively highly successful habits. I know that here in loved because they are willing to learn and meet my demands of efficiency, sufficiency and their quality of proficiency. I know that certain workers are willing to send food my way. Just one worker doesn't want to. It's up to her because she refuses to follow suit. 

The thinking processes, the mental faculties in social situations have different ways of being. We say that we are the same but nobody knows what we are like in personal solitude, when we are with family, when we are with friends and when we are with a romantic partner. It's actually an creative process where lying is possible and creating slight differently in personal mind sets that we create for each situations. We have different relational roles in what situations we are in. My thoughts aren't connecting to what I think in different social situations because everyone lies and tries to dominate my life with powers. 

Evil can penetrate the highest of government, institutions, systematic organizations that could manipulate or lie in any given situation. Men and women, child and teenager could become evil. We all have the capacity to become evil. Indian Residential Schools in Canada have taught Indigenous people not to trust anyone in a system, that the "system" is evil and we cannot trust it. I am studying social psychology of Prejudice and Discrimination. And how good people can turned evil in such ways. 

Socially I wanted to create memorable moments in my life in Sydney and everywhere I went to. Learning that I was loved and wanted, I know that I needed this move. I needed to work on myself and my knowledge. It's a bitter pill to swallow when I see the night time arriving. I had a lot of good nights in Eskasoni and Sydney. I know that I needed to get my level of education, training and driving level where I could re-start when I do get my cardio fitness going again. I am 38 years old and nobody wants me to fail in understanding, interpreting and comprehending my situation I need to do. 

Knowing that the Morrison wanted humiliations in my name. They always wanted me abused and humiliated if I was being serious. Maybe I could interpret it that way. I had no romantic relationships but sexual ones that ended up in nothing. Learning that I was taught to cope and learn, I knew that kind of adaptability and resilience. I knew that I was being hated in this family because they didn't want to do it the right way. Trying to get me laid. They wanted vulnerabilities and stress and hyper-sexual states. Learning that I was subjected to their relational influences, social powers and relational persuasions. I've learned that I had to be targeted by them because they didn't want the consequences and responsibilities of being bad leaders. 

You cannot knock the hustle. Criminal elements and good money-makers have a good gangsta kind of feel to it. I know that I need to live my life making money in ways. Knowing that I have been doing that, something like chore/butler doer. I have these skills and repertoire where I could take a small house and take care of it. I love doing certain house-sitting but I hate the chores. I try to do it when I get the motivation to do them. Learning that I do a good job and I want to get educated, trained and certified in butlery. I hope that I could become something of a well educated and trained, certified and motivated, employable worker. Education have a good reasons to be; I just have to figure out the connection with certain professions and occupations in my portfolio. 

I am not known by professional reputation to work hard for so long. I hope that in my future I could go that extra mile, do a courtesy and have a good harder and stronger workethic. I know that certain people want a level of dominancy over my life. Learning that's because they don't trust me with my own life. Or they don't want me to succeed professionally. Social psychology suggests this because of certain relational influences, social powers and relational persuasions. In social psychology there is an extent to relational influences and persuasions tactics, there is an multi-generational prejudicial authorities that haven't covered up the truth of actions and other factors in personal decisions. 

I don't think I have took personal accountability the right way. My crimes are mine, apparently. I have to take the brunt of responsibilities in the name of my  own moral development, apparently. Learning certain situational and systemic influences and persuasions. I know that I'm anti-authoritarianism and anti-establishmentarianism. Learning to operate outside of established prejudicial authorities, I know that I have to carry this weight of being the outsider in ways of words and being intelligent. I know that people can live outside of the established prejudicial authorities because I have before in ways. 

Situational analysis techniques and methods I do not know. Hopefully I can understand the situational forces in my own life because I've turned evil and learning that my step uncles wanted to perpetuate and continue with the corruption. I know that they didn't have the sensitivity of empathy in a social psychological way. I know that evil can start where emotional vulnerability that can cause indiscriminate hypersexual states and doubts. Learning that I'm not perfect but I have to study my own memories in ways they come, are what I call my "Neuroethics of Prejudicial Authorities in discriminations and Abuses". Neuroethically I am learning about what's healthy and what's toxic. Identifying these characteristics and moral sickness has been challenging in empathy of disgust, ageistic authority and multi-generational sexism. Knowing that Dodo created moral imperatives to worry the research, study of Neuroethics and how social psychology wasn't on his mind. I know that I need to work on my Redemptive works( Philosophy of Forgiveness, Acceptance and Healing. The Traits of Adjustment, Adaptability and Resilience). 

The darkest depths of crimes and knowing to rely on faith-driven people and learning that I'm disabled and a huge disappointment. I know that social/family psychology can have a good understanding of such neuroethical realities in an Indigenous contextual perspective. Learning that everyone had this rush/worry kind of claim. I knew that I needed a couple moral imperatives in my life. At the time of the acts I was ignorant and in epistemology, you could always learn because in the books I have. I have to develop my own personal situational forces analysis. I have to examine my past by memories and learn from them. It's my memories so I have to learn from them, why not learn in an academic way? 

In social psychological works they study influences and persuasions from prejudicial authorities, group dynamics, persuasive appeals, and compliance strategies which in turn can affect the mind in ways where psychological warfare creates vulnerable indiscriminate hypersexuality. Eskasoni wasn't pro-social protective love. They were anti-social, private and causing vulnerable indiscriminate hypersexual states in a person. Knowing that I needed to protect my peace I had to stay in my bedroom. The community became my mental prison, my apartment became my prison. Everyone wanted me tormented and giving up. This was their hatred and circus side show they wanted. They didn't want me ego-invested in books because they knew I could figure out truths of my past they didn't want to hear. 

To study my own criminality, I had to understand and comprehend that I was surrounded by bad asses. I knew that I did not have any good competition in video games when I confronted them about my beliefs, truths and values. Epistemologically they all wanted me responsible addict. The moral, intellectual struggles I had I had to say fuck all these actors and actresses. Learning that I wasn't really this kid who was loved because I was targeted for experimentations and deepening of my understanding between the congruence of hell and heaven. The darken past is mine and I know that I had to put some kind of self claim to my own life. Knowing that Dodo wanted to dominate my life with my stepfather's moral cowardice. I had to learn my limitations and make them my moral imperatives for the time being. 

I had to learn the power of discipline through books and eBooks. I know that I was learning in Mawita'mk Society. I knew that I needed to sweat in a sweat lodge. It's a war in my head and I know that my battles of my mind have been attacking me. Learning to be strong-minded mindfully and have the patience to figure put my own wars as I was growing up. My step uncle wanted me to be clear-minded and strong-faith because he didn't want me to study or read. I know that I had to learn about noontropics, neuroethics and future endeavors of our global economy through internet and research. I know that I had to be self-assured in my knowledge, self-confident in my expositions and work out a few theories that I wanted to explore: 1. Ideal Male Obedience, theory of Devotibio(ego-state in relational quality) and Relational Power or Purpose? 2. Ideal Male Independence, Toughened up and Preseving Inner Peace in Our Own Lives?