With A Certain Level of Employability

With a certain level of employability, graduations, milestones, accomplishments and job experiences: comes a good feeling of enrichen lifestyle where my standard of living has potentialities and possibilities. Also comes a certain level of growth and new aspects to my independence in my life. There is room for professional development for potential career growth, new skills and potential raises and more fringe benefits. The benefit of work is that I have physical endurance/professional efficiency experience or professionalism. I have a credible source of professional reputation. I have a steady income or flow of cash. My personal life would improve because work pays me, to pay for bills and the rest of my expenditures... or expenses. My personal life I feel gotten better because I could save up for a car. My sister Billie Jean rushed me to get a cellphone but my first phone was a flip-phone. And my life kept on getting better each year with the expenses, bills and groceries I had to buy. 

I'd lived in my Mawita'mk apartment for 4 years and struggled with my weight. I don't know self food regulation of discipline n' self control in eating habits and cooking routines. Like when I gotten my financial independence: I had a steady income from a part-time career. I could've had my own full-time employment and hustled more. I know that I had to quit my job because of Rosie was worried for my health. I wished I had full-time employment career because I would've had paid fully my bills, subscriptions, groceries, clothes, cleaning supplies... something for my apartment. I still have bills n' subscriptions. I just don't have car payments and funds for maintenance, repair, paint job, investing into my own car. I'll feel happier if I could have inventory, oeuvre and pop bottles collection bags for recycling, commission sales and copyrighted publications. Just to supplement my pay and to become my own self-provider. 

I have everything I'll need to live an independent life in Eskasoni. I know that I've been learning my blessings, level or depth of appreciativeness and gratefulness at Mawita'mk Society. Sometimes I think that I don't have anything but at las: I have my own computer I could learn to work. Mawita'mk Society provides stability, safety to a degree and security to some degree. I know that I'm still learning to develop certain self-efficacy (individual's belief in controlling or managing one's behavioral changes, motivations or social environment or the confidence to exerts one's personal powers over situations, behavioral changes and coping or dealing and doing with certain performance attainments). Like going through obstacles to attain better health with a Growth Mindset. 

With a certain level of employability, graduations, milestones, accomplishments and job experiences comes potential for new apartment, car and a good sizeable experience of fringe benefits. I know that I have a level of education, training and driving level where I could get a couple of good jobs in Canada. I know that I have a significant amount of life experience, trade experience, work term experience, job shadowing experience and educational experience. I have professional tips and tricks of the job, ta look professional and good. And I know that I need to get my own 10 students for Retail Council of Canada training and Certification programs. I know that I needed to work on myself and live my life alone. 

I know this because I had some jobs with a part-time, professional career where I did it for a year. For that long (Wasn't enough) and I wanted to return with Rod's One Stop (A.K.A We'koqma'q One Stop). It was a good job and I was acclimating to a lot of good relational influences and persuasions every morning. I was trying to be attending much as my body allowed it. I was taught to be a happy/hard/strong worker in my life. Learning that's where being emotionally literate comes in to play. I know that I am a happy worker but I would love to not get sick. Since this Covid-19 pandemic I've been cooped up for couple years because of Covid-19. It was bad at first but soon started to wean off. 

I know that I've been learning to grow accustomed to life in We'koqma'q community. Hopefully I can build a list of credentials in my physical portfolio where I could post in my online portfolio. Knowing that I've needed help the right way. I know that I don't have any respect from certain people because I've been damaged or abused or discriminated against over the years in Eskasoni. I know a wide range of mistreatments was used to make me feel delusionally happy. I know that I wasn't happy in Eskasoni because the bad (in my childhood n' teenage years and twenties) outweighed the good. I know that in a twisted way I was loved because of my weaknesses to leave this fucked up life I was living in Eskasoni. People thought I didn't recognize good in my own life. I have when I was alone and left alone. Billy Aquan and his brothers were conspiring against me to control me in ways. Now that my real father is dead, I don't have any real justice because of my biological mother's passing back in 1995. 

I know that I was a stupid loser kind of putz who didn't have his own life under my own control. I know that my family didn't give two shits about me because they simply didn't want the consequences of their inactivity or absence or something. I needed to leave the community and get away from the family because they were mistreating me in so many ways that I couldn't really control my own life. Knowing what I've experienced and seen, I know that I was loved because of my weaknesses. Not because family wanted me to be strong, financially independent and on my own. 

I needed my own space and I needed to get away from the family because everyone was fucked up and I was having an meltdown. The Morrison, Syliboy and Jown family wanted the credit of solving most of my problems and having good, positive energy and vigor. I needed to have my own place without the family and I needed to get away from their drama; without my mother and father. I'd paid close attention to how I would tell my story and how everyone wanted to keep an close eye on me. They didn't want any spilling of the beans and I know that people would send me right back to my old hells. I don't have any escape from this family because they torn apart my self-efficacy and confidence to live ideally by myself. 

I know that with a certain level of employability, graduations, milestones, accomplishments and job experiences I could do a lot on my own. It isn't safe any more because Canada isn't deluded in their superiority. I am in my childhood being controlled so badly in such manipulations and psychological warfare that in my 30s (the present) I am exposing my secrets and Dodo had his way without consequences. I know that the Morrison family has started in my addictional struggles and attritional poverty versus addictional poverty struggles. 

Yes! I am happy where I am at but people can reach me through work and other means. I didn't want that and my sisters and family kind of forced that on me. Rush/Force claim theory is where people are wanting you to join up with the rest of Zombie-like family and forget my mental faculties. I know that I don't get any topics or subjects I want to talk about. I know that I don't have any respect because I've been cheated out of my coffee and other groceries, cleaning supplies and stuff. I was mistreated for so long that I have troubles with trust because people wanted me to have all the benefits so they could rip me off. I know that I don't have any respect for my personal truths and trust because Dodo and Lori have deflected, denied and lied for so many years. And wanted my downfalls. 

Dodo didn't want my personal truths out because it would've ruined him. I know that they molested me with a bunch of other pedophiles who are hiding. I don't have the memories now but I am working on digging up my past because a lot of people needs to face their consequences. I've faced many criminals who supports other criminals in ruining my life. And this is work for how fucked up adults are in my life (or older folks who have touched me). I know that I am in serious needs of therapy and Mike MacInnis isn't trying. I  know that I am hated specially because I've been fucking around. And I know that I don't have any good people in my life; like high-value men. I know that I am controlled, hated, abused, damaged goods and discriminated because I don't have natural beauty. With a certain level of employability (quality of being employable in a prejudicial world), I have been learning that Educationism is a form of discrimination based on your educational backgrounds. I know that I have a level of education, range of knowledge and level of training, with a driving level. That I could get full-time employment. 

Dodo has his manipulation in verbal controllability. And I know that I need to face that because he would verbally abused me in so many ways that I've kept their secrets and the power of secrecy has been honored. I know that I need to get out of dodge and escape this hypersexual, pedophiliac province where I cannot fight crimes like batman. I know that I don't have any good relational influences, powers or persuasions because Dodo have victimized me in so many ways that his sense of righteousness is so fucked up that he is willing to fight for his freedoms of continuing to live in Canada or the states. I know that a lot of fucked up family members wanted me to fuck up because they could ruin my life while escaping their consequences. Their lasting legacy is pedophiles who have no moral imperatives or moral consequences. 

I don't have the necessary meanings with the floating memories that I have, It's distant and weaken but I know that I've needed to go through the darkness because that's where my truth is calling me. I know that Billie Jean is a moral coward because she doesn't want me to find the truthful moments in my own life. Somebody can argue semantics and I know that I don't agree with them. I know that I've been wronged in so many ways that I cannot escape the impossible grip that the Morrison has on me. This incredible influential and cultural controllability over my psyche has been persuasive and convincible but because they wanted to get away from their consequences and keep their problems to themselves. 

The Morrison wanted to be credited with treating me good when they'd allowed such bad stuff to happened to me when I was a child. And continued to make me vulnerable to addictions through Ray and Dodo who wanted to determined my sexuality still. They don't feel shitty after all that because they are proud of being arrogant assholes. And I know that I don't have any best friend because such bad stuff has happened over the years. 

I know that with Mawita'mk Society; the Morrison family of Eskasoni have been wanting to escape their consequences in so many ways. They thought that I did not have ant mental health problems, now they know that schizophrenia is coming for them. They have tortured their own mother for information because they want to get away with covering up the my personal truths. The Morrison family of Eskasoni are toxic, manipulative, abusive and bigoted. 

Well that's how bad certain family members have hurt me. And I know that I don't know myself because I've been learning that people don't want to discover truths and facts about my life. I know that I've needed to live my own life with a good deal of safety and security. People try to force their beliefs on me because they don't want to deal with certain facts in life. Understanding Indigenous Family Solipsistic theory instead of researching, understanding, reading and studying for new answers or ways to connect the dots. I know that Female Solipsism (the idealist theory that the self is all there is to exist and be) and Male Survivalism (the pragmatic theory or practical approach to surviving in any relationship by going outside and being an Outdoorsman) has been something of a bummer kind of things because my family only thinks of themselves when it comes to my problems. And I am right back where I started because they wanted it. 

You know Confirmation Bias where the tendency that a person interprets new evidences as confirmation of existing theories and beliefs. I know that old school does this and there are a observational bias and other cognitive biases in life, as long as with Egocentric Biases and Solipsistic tendency to cover up crimes and breaking of vows. Moral cowards have gotten away with my time. The Relationship dynamics have form my essence in ways where I consider Dodo's Beliefs, Values, Rights and Privileges. I know that he has Solipsistic tendencies because he wanted me to think that way. Have some sexistic psycho-religious white lies. And learn how I should interpret and understand him. I know that my idiosyncrasies aren't well respected because I got no rights in people's eyes because I am diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic. I ain't supposed to have personal powers or any influence in my own life. So some thinks. 

The level of care when I first came here was phenomenal. I could've been simply depressed and the Worker would've gotten a ride alone... or did something ta relieve the symptoms of depression. I know that the level care and skills associated with certain people wasn't a thing to mess with. I know that people grieve in different ways but ta have misconceptions and downs for them, is something needing to be addressed. 

Moral cowards/criminals want to always get away with any crimes. The family hegemony is gone and I know that I don't have any real justice. Knowing that the step family is one-sided and have no dimensions. I know that Lori is tricky and with all her tricks exposed and personally written. I know that Dodo's relational manipulations is kind of over. There are people that are willing to make two wrongs a right instead of shedding light on situations. Yeah I'm no financially independent thinker because the Morrison family of Eskasoni wanted incredible influential controllability. I know that I'm not appreciated by the younger generations. And I know that I don't have anything to leverage because I'm not willing to give up my things. I am not attractive in any sense of the Hypocritical Hypergamous Hypersexuality. And I know that I cannot focus on myself full-time if I have to do it for women. 

I wasn't given any good leverage in my own life because certain Morrison family members wanted to improve their game. I know that I was loved because I was a child addict n' a teen addict. I know that people don't want me to think Interdisciplinary, inter-dimensionally or critically about my past because the pedophiles of my past have gotten me. They wanted me to be this abused kid who couldn't emotionally, or holistically see my disadvantages my stepfather was creating. And nobody wanted me because I wasn't strong enough. I don't have any attractive desirability or qualities or characteristics or traits or muscles or height or riches or extra curricular activities or careers or business or financial independence or physical features. No matter what I learn I seem I don't have personal powers, relational influences and persuasions, have any sort of control over my own life because I'd would've had my fully licensed driver's license. 

My stepfather wouldn't allow personal growth without his approval. I couldn't really enjoy my sexuality or get my driver's license: still to this day I'm not allowed to do what I want to do because of Mawita'mk Society. The family hegemony has stopped me here and I kind of live a sexless life. An type of celibate or incel's life. I know that I don't drink anymore. I've been sober n' clean for fourteen years. I got a level of education, training in driving level where I could work on if I do get my second transplant kidney. In order to do that I'll need to lose weight for the operation. Incel: involuntary celibate whose culture is based on no psycho-sexual attractiveness from women. This had some kind of denial of basic needs, abilities and faculties of women. 

I had women before, older women and I know what sex is like. So I guess I could say that I'm experienced in life, sex and work. Mawita'mk Society's supports have been something of a good thing but I need help in showering and shit. Well not technically. I have been impacted by a generation where Domestic Science has been shown by men and women in my own family. And I know that I was some kind of slut to a good degree of my own life. I had to accept that some women didn't want me. And I know that I don't fit certain criteria of women. Knowing this I have to pick certain women I want. 

I know the formal studies, trades, Industrial Arts and Home Economics. I know that I've been learning that I want to create a good pathway to the trades. I hope that I could have a good deal of positive progression in my own life where I have my BA degree for show n' tell, have my NSCC credentials and copyrighted publications. Staying in We'koqma'q community until I'm successful isn't an option. I hope that I could become accomplished, successful and published with my own copyrighted oeuvre. I know that there is so much opportunity in Mawita'mk Society; to publish and work on my mental states. 

Like I said I'm just fucking around with this blogging. But I think I wrote some serious stuff on here. I know that I want that kind of spirit of cultural creativity I've learned from. I know that I want that traditional epinioa or intelligent imagination or intelligent, cultural creativity. I want to write those kinda of writings. Hopefully I can live my life with money to invest into the copyrights that I'd typed up, the marketing and publications of my poetry. 

I am enrichen with a cultural hometown, a good educational experience from Nova Scotia Community College. A good driving training from Unama'ki Driving School, a good portfolio with my home projects. My stepfather didn't want to take any pictures for me to put in my portfolio. I think I got nothing from him since I was learning yard work. 

I know that outside of Eskasoni people either don't want me to think right and that's how far my step family's manipulations go? Or that they want me to think right but agree with the family hegemony because they don't know how to separate the manipulations from truthfulness?

I know that I need to work on my fitness and mental attitude. I know that I have a lot to be thankful for and I have a lot to hate too. I know that I have something of a good life. I know that with the current technologies I have I could be relaxing in my own apartment and live my life with a lot of good music. I know that I don't want to move back home because I have to learn to live by myself without the safety net that is Mawita'mk. I know that I didn't needed supports because a lot of people wanted me to fail and they expected it. I could tell because there was something with the atmosphere of heavy oceanic emotions in the air. I know that I needed my own place and having a good life in Eskasoni was impossible because of bullies and violent individuals. 

I used to have money when I was a teenager and my cousin/uncle Ray would help me spend it. I would figure out what CDs I would want and buy them. Or get VHS and stuff like that. He would suggest to upgrade my bedroom and stuff at my stepfather's house. And I know that I had a lot to be thankful for. Living a standard of life isn't that east in Eskasoni. I am very appreciative of what I've been through because it gave me substance and essence I needed to figure myself out. And I am thankful for the Church's influences and values in my own life. I know that my hometown Church has their cultural traditional influences and values too. 

I know that my Grammy Jessie Denny was very religious and wanted me to forgive and accept my past with a right head on my shoulders. Knowing that I've forgiven generously and had been cheated out of my youth. I don't have any good teachings when it comes to business because everyone has an opinion.  

I have to say that my attitude towards my family's solipsism and toxic narcissism have granted me an understanding with certain family members. I know that they justify it as saying simply "everyone has problems" and expects great things from a me when I was a kid, I know that nobody wanted to help me because I couldn't be a kid. I had to be that responsible addict/functional addict on and off. I know that I don't have any real family members wanting to help me with certain things. I know that I wanted to tell so much and wanted to say so much. All of this was in my past and I know that I have certain time periods with certain writings. 

I know that I am happy with Mawita'mk Society. A cultural home. I know that I want to have my own place in Eskasoni because I have everything I need to live an independent life is here. But at the same time I know that Eskasoni has thieves and RCMP not willing to investigate the crimes. Knowing that I don't have any security in Eskasoni, safety measures and practices. I know that I cannot live a good life ideally in Eskasoni because simply put it: I am a target. Clyde has been proving this and so have so many others from Eskasoni. 

I know that my sister's arguments against me is flawed and because she gotten away with a lot. She is tricky like her family. The eternal arguer who suppresses her older brother and don't want my family to validate my being. Forcefully the Morrison family of Eskasoni wanted me to be under their grip. I never was an independent thinker because the Morrison family of Eskasoni would be my check and watcher who monitors and control everything.

Even now my relationships are controlling me, influencing me and telling me what's respect. I know what I respect and I know what I honor. I know that I don't respect n' honor a bunch of perverts, criminals, womanizers and unchecked stupidity, toxic female solipsism and female n' male narcissism. I know that I don't have any respect enough to have my own independent emotional sanity, choices and opinions because everyone else expects me to listen, sit there n' listen. This is ageistic relational authorities where I don't have any stigma-free states. 

There is an incredible controllability over my life because I have memories of my stepfather who has forced me, people in Eskasoni Rehab that have forced me to watch a stupid ceremony. And the way they'd talked sounded stupid. I was forced to not have my own feelings to myself. 

I believe in family for survival and type of love/loyalty or attachment theory but biologically it don't make sense to have somebody holding you back, or abusing ya because he doesn't want that kind of responsibilities, consequences and value in his life. I don't believe in marriage because of the Institution-indoctrinated, legally-perpetuated and family-induced mythology or myth of a soulmate. There have been plenty of cheatings in marriage and crimes with close family members. 

Women have legal rights to control everything in life where, or by marrying off they could ruin a father legally, economically, financially and personally. I know that Devotibio is one of my family/relational theory I need working on. Like the Father's Rights and Male Survivalism in a Relationship. And the reasonable doubt kept close to his heart. The axiological/family relational theory is still in place but have to be modified for health, self-esteem, self-efficacy and personal leadership. 

The male theory of Relational Attachment has been an argumentation to some degree. To keep the family with the dad and to have Father's Rights instead of despair. I know that I don't have any real meaning in my life unless there is Equal Rights, or Egalitarian Rights of both Father and Mother. A father doesn't have any rights and seeing today's jurisprudence or legal system, is damaging enough to a guy's ego. 

At Mawita'mk Society there isn't any room for personal growth, personal beliefs, truths and values. Epistemologically or axiologically I'm not allowed to have certain attitudes or thinking. Women have been abusive and getting away with a lot of things in my past. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. And having no Father's Rights is a good sign of not getting into a marriage. There is no evidences of women's abuses but there is plenty of toxic masculinity on line. Female-dominated religion has created an institution-based female solipsism. And I know that I don't have to marry off. The feministic demonization, vilification and accusation of men have been used in the psychology of discrimination and prejudicial authorities to a degree. The few good men is not a few but understanding the history of domestic violence. 

The ego-state of the male theory of Attachment Empowerment has been Devotibio. I know that I don't have any real powers from my ladies to tackle these legalities. And I want to have support because Father's Rights are real reasons of defining a Real Man's Integrity. I know that people can tackle those problems in Canada, they could work it in a real way. The neuroethical realities we live in is in the genetic, neuroscientific or psychological manipulations of the brain neurochemically, consciously, psychologically and other ways to psyche or mind. Everyone wants to criminally get away with crimes with me and that's why I don't want to move to the big cities or back to Eskasoni. I am diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and people have manipulated me in many ways of abuses and mistreatments all my life and called it "punishments" because they have some kind of rights. 

Women have their fears of understanding, or anxiety disorders which they believe in. I know that DBT Skills Training Manual or Richard Bandler's Neurolinguistic Programming have revolutionized the psychology of coping, the mental health literature and Dr. Philip Zimbardo's work in The Lucifer Effect: How Good People Turn Evil can used social psychology for such understanding of being "evil" smart while adding more room for good memories with Timecure and Time Paradox which tells us to use our mental movie reel and inner dialogue, ta add more happy and pleasant memories to the reel. And Neurolinguistic Programming does similar things but with submodalities, habitual thinking we have control over and a good understanding of what's a resourceful belief, useful suggestion and strength-base therapy. All my understanding I'm a reconciled thought frame of perception through reading has been something I'll need to develop the Relational Dynamic theory of male life. 

I know that The Elements of Critical Thinking has an interesting way of looking at things. Knowing that The Morrison family of Eskasoni has wanted me blind, amenable and trusting them for guidance. I know that I don't have to delve into the past to retrieve some truths, so they wish. It's my brain and I can do whatever the hell I feel like. Some of the staff don't believe in these works because they refuse to have an open mind. Throughout my life I've been trying to gain some kind of insight in psychoanalysis, but as I'd learned I know that I have controllability over my own brain through these works. I was taught these lessons long ago but I'll need to read them again.

Learning that I do have personal powers, relational influences and critical thoughts. The Morrison family of Eskasoni couldn't control my habitual critical thinking because they think that their moral cowardice, truths, rights, beliefs and values revolves around them. And in that they could deny, manipulate, lie and cheat me because I did not have any critical thoughts. Dodo is my specialist in my own guilt because he wanted to waste a good mind. In the family (Adoptive) and Mawita'mk Society's staff don't have room for my personal beliefs, truths (interpretation of facts), rights and values I need to live with. My family wants me to develop blind obedience to them because they don't want to think about all this troubles and Father's Rights issues. 

I've been stultified before from copyrighting and publishing. My stepfather's beliefs didn't fit my beliefs. Learning that he doesn't respect my body of work. I had to accept and stay my course in my own life. My moral imperatives taught me that I did wrong and I had to, eventually face the music. But it wasn't always like that. I have deeper emotions of shame (there is something wrong with me) rather than guilt (which tells me I did something stupid). I have some guilt and a lot of shame because Dodo's unjust anger went unchecked for years. Considering that Dodo and my biological mother covered up their cheating, in turn covered up my abusers and bullies. They'd covered up pedophilia and traumatizations which they are moral cowards to. 

I know that I didn't have justice because my step family was toxic. And in the family comes the certain relationships that forms the essence in me for hanging on for their integrity. Neuroethically learning they have gotten away with a lot of types of abuse, power play, associations with certain thoughts and books, a range of mistreatments and malnourishment periods in my life. And a good deal of liars, manipulators and bullies.